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To allow DD (10) to watch Love Island

298 replies

Laceystace · 04/06/2018 20:39

So last year me and my older DC became addicted to the show love island. DH watches it from time to time however we felt our youngest DD ( 9 at the time) was too young to watch it. I personally believe that it's not really appropriate for any of my DC to be watching plus 2 are taking their GCSEs so I don't want any to be distracted. However I doubt it will stop them.

The problem is DH had promised that DD would be able to watch it this year. I knew it was a bad idea for him to promise this however DH thought DD would forget so I went along with it.

Now a year has passed and DD is getting prepared to watch the show. I feel really uncomfortable with the whole thing. The show isn't for children her age. 10 o'clock is too late for her to be staying awake watching trash on TV. I told her yesterday she wouldn't be able to watch it which led to a big tantrum which only clarified my feelings towards the situation. She was crying all last night about how I promised etc. I apologised to her, however she wasnt taking any of it. She felt it is unfair how it was only her that couldn't watch it in the family. I tried to persuade the older DC to maybe give this series a miss or watch it in their bedrooms as DD feels left out. They now feel its unfair to them and that they prefer watching it together as its the only show we all seem to like watching together. DH thinks I should let her watch the first episode as she most likely won't like the show and won't watch it again in the future. However I don't think it's about her liking the show it's about her feeling left out.

I really don't know how I'm going to deal with this it's starts in a few minutes, I'm thinking of maybe allowing DD to maybe watch a few minutes then put her to bed. I just think its a shame that the only show we are happy to watch is trash TV it's embarrassing. I think it would do the family good giving it a miss this year. I just don't want to come across as a 'party pooper'.

OP posts:
ElderflowerWaterIsDelish · 05/06/2018 10:22

Op do you know what you should do...record an episode of love island, even if you have to get one from YouTube...then invite your parents, dh parents, and other family for Sunday lunch and announce I have some nice family entertainment for us to watch and play your recording...when the family members act appalled at being shown people having sex and having it on tv with kids present in the room, you can announce, that's what I thought too but dh overruled me and said it's ok for DD age 10 to watch sex on tv as long as she is watching it with daddy....then leave dh to defend himself from the onslaught from all the family berating him for practically showing her soft porn....do it op, you can't allow this to continue, if he shows her live island with people having sex at age 10, what will he be watching with her at 12 ?

ElderflowerWaterIsDelish · 05/06/2018 10:22

*love island

desertmum · 05/06/2018 10:47

It really is cheap and sleazy TV - why would anyone want to watch this low grade soft porn? yuk it's pretty gross.

Shoxfordian · 05/06/2018 10:50

Love Island is not porn!

LighthouseSouth · 05/06/2018 10:59

"Love Island is not porn!"

from trailers, it looks as close as you can get on mainstream TV.

thornyhousewife · 05/06/2018 11:11

Why don't you like your 10 year old?

How could you even consider subjecting a ten year old girl to this?

Why don't you think more of her?

Wildlingofthewest · 05/06/2018 11:13

Your husband watches it.....
Ewwwwww

SleepingStandingUp · 05/06/2018 11:13

So ive never seen the show, and even I know its not suitable BUT
GENUINE QUESTION

why is it about the degradation of women not both our neither? I assumed it was fairly even on the must be hot / wear little / put out?

OuchLegoHurts · 05/06/2018 11:50

How could you even consider subjecting a ten year old girl to this?

Why don't you think more of her?

^ This

Shoxfordian · 05/06/2018 12:15

Its not for 10 year olds obviously
From last year's, you could tell when a couple were having sex but it's all under a duvet so you don't actually see anything. Its not porn so there's a bit too much prudish pearl clutching going on here.
Its an adult program though for adults not for children.

Op needs to address this properly with her husband because he sounds like an idiot.

ReadytoTalk · 05/06/2018 12:26

Exposing children to sex is child abuse.

AnyFucker · 05/06/2018 18:59

How are things today, op ?

Laceystace · 05/06/2018 19:01

UPDATE

Thanks a lot for the help. I decided to go back downstairs once it got past 10 o'clock. Told DD she needed to go the bed. DH then said the show is nearly finishing so I should let her watch. DD was visibly tired at this point. I then told DH he will be taking her to school tomorrow as he's the reason she's up so late. I then told DD again to go to her bed. The older DC practically told me to shut up as I was being too loud.

I then just went to my bed. When DH came back to bed I told him that if he allows DD to watch it again I will contact safeguarding. DH said I was going to far, that I'm too controlling and I'm not letting the kids 'have fun'. According to him DD finishing her SATS means she's old enough to watch shows that are clearly for adults. I also refused to take DD to school.

In the morning DD was too tired to get up and go to school. I told DH that he needs to make sure he gets her up and ready for school because I was going to be late for work and older DCs for school.

Ive returned home and find out DD didn't go to school and DH called in and said she was sick. Me and DH got into a huge argument about it, DD ended up crying in her room. I talked to her and she apologised for making DH angry. DH knows the DC especially DD get scared she's he's angry especially when we are arguing. I told DD it wasn't her fault, we then had a conversation about the show and why it wasn't appropriate for kids her age. I told her that I won't be watching as well so she won't feel left out.

I refuse to talk to DH until he's fully calmed down. I'm sick of his behavior and the way he treats me. I don't want to end our marriage however we clearly need some type of help like counselling.

Thank you all for your help

OP posts:
MLMsuperfan · 05/06/2018 19:02

Well done you.

HappyLollipop · 05/06/2018 19:06

10 is far too young, I find it hard to believe most of her classmates are watching it theyre probably just watching snippets of it and keeping up with the gossip via social media.

AnyFucker · 05/06/2018 19:09

Your daughter apologised to this dick ? Shock

Jesus Christ...she is learning some very damaging lessons in this fucked up situation.

You don't want to split up ? Please think again. Do you want her to model a relationship just like yours when she grows up ?

TatianaLarina · 05/06/2018 19:17

You shouldn’t just be sick of how he treats you, but your DD too.

He’s a manipulative arsehole.

TatianaLarina · 05/06/2018 19:19

Be absolutely clear - counselling will change nothing. He will simply use it to continue to wield power over you.

WowLookAtYou · 05/06/2018 19:19

Could be worse than that, AF. She could also be modelling future relationships on what she's seen on Love Island.

Laceystace · 05/06/2018 19:24

AnyFucker

She apologised to me not DH, I have 6 kids with DH. 5 still living with us, so divorce isn't an option for me. I couldn't look after the DC by myself.

OP posts:
MrStarkIDontFeelSoGood · 05/06/2018 19:27

"She apologised for making DH angry"

Jesus Fucking Christ

AnyFucker · 05/06/2018 19:28

He is not "looking after her" though, is he ? He is damaging her.

TatianaLarina · 05/06/2018 19:28

You wouldn’t have to look after them alone. You’d share custody. Although he’s not really looking after them at all is he? He’s just trying to damage DD. The less they’re around him the better.

TatianaLarina · 05/06/2018 19:29

Xpost Snap!

AnyFucker · 05/06/2018 19:29

She apologised for "making him angry" though

You don't see a problem with that ?

Stop hiding behind your kids.