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Original poster

To allow DD (10) to watch Love Island

298 replies

Laceystace · 04/06/2018 20:39

So last year me and my older DC became addicted to the show love island. DH watches it from time to time however we felt our youngest DD ( 9 at the time) was too young to watch it. I personally believe that it's not really appropriate for any of my DC to be watching plus 2 are taking their GCSEs so I don't want any to be distracted. However I doubt it will stop them.

The problem is DH had promised that DD would be able to watch it this year. I knew it was a bad idea for him to promise this however DH thought DD would forget so I went along with it.

Now a year has passed and DD is getting prepared to watch the show. I feel really uncomfortable with the whole thing. The show isn't for children her age. 10 o'clock is too late for her to be staying awake watching trash on TV. I told her yesterday she wouldn't be able to watch it which led to a big tantrum which only clarified my feelings towards the situation. She was crying all last night about how I promised etc. I apologised to her, however she wasnt taking any of it. She felt it is unfair how it was only her that couldn't watch it in the family. I tried to persuade the older DC to maybe give this series a miss or watch it in their bedrooms as DD feels left out. They now feel its unfair to them and that they prefer watching it together as its the only show we all seem to like watching together. DH thinks I should let her watch the first episode as she most likely won't like the show and won't watch it again in the future. However I don't think it's about her liking the show it's about her feeling left out.

I really don't know how I'm going to deal with this it's starts in a few minutes, I'm thinking of maybe allowing DD to maybe watch a few minutes then put her to bed. I just think its a shame that the only show we are happy to watch is trash TV it's embarrassing. I think it would do the family good giving it a miss this year. I just don't want to come across as a 'party pooper'.

OP posts:
Janus · 04/06/2018 22:20

I would tell your husband (once dd in bed) that he has to respect your decision on what is correct for her to watch. It’s just telling girls that they will be judged on looks alone and then watch them at some point have sex and that is just NOT APPROPRIATE for her age, at all. If he says you have to respect his decision on what’s appropriate you can then tell him school will be in contact if they hear her talking about it so how will he address this with the school too and doesn’t that show that it’s not appropriate?? I’d then sit down dd tomorrow and say you’ve made a terrible mistake and it’s not for her to watch as it’s for teenagers onwards and that you could all get in trouble for her watching it, think that would make her realise it’s pretty serious stuff.

NoMudNoLotus · 04/06/2018 22:25

Absolutely no way .

My DD is 12 years - just no.

SlightlyJaded · 04/06/2018 22:26

OP i don't think you are fundamentally wet. I think you are beaten, broken and your self-esteem is on the floor. This behaviour (from you DH) is very familiar to me and it's all about putting you in your place. I have no doubt that if you had casually mentioned that you thought you'd let DD have a look at Love Island, he'd be kicking off about how inappropriate it was and what were you thinking.

His desire to show his children who is in charge in your house is greater than his desire to be a good parent. He is a dick.

You have to stand your ground and battle for decent parenting. With someone like him it will be endless and exhausting. And only you can decide how long that is tolerable.

Halebeke425 · 04/06/2018 22:27

Maybe you should say to your husband that it doesn't exactly look good on him - insisting his 10 year old daughter stay up late to watch a programme about people wanting to and actually shagging each other.

I'm sorry that you feel so weak and powerless in your family that's really shit. You shouldn't put up with it. Stand up for yourself and your child's interests. Your husband sounds like an arsehole and a completely irresponsible parent. Tell him if he's so sure he's doing the right thing that he should tell the other parents at school tomorrow that he insisted his ten year old watch love Island and see how that goes down. Tell him to tell all his colleagues at work as well, see what they think. Hell, if he's so right and it's completely fine get him to broadcast it across social media, if you're really overreacting and what he's doing is good for your daughter, it should be no problem for him to do that right?

RB68 · 04/06/2018 22:28

I think as soon as you start arguing over TV its time to do without it for a week

raindropsandsunshine · 04/06/2018 22:29

I've read more, I actually feel for you. It sounds like your husband is being 'popular' by letting the children get their own way and to be honest...it sounds like he's doing it to spite you. I'm sorry you're in that situation. I know people are saying take the plug out etc but I also understand it may feel intimidating to confront them. However remember that you are one of two parents - in a good relationship you would have equal say in parenting but in situations that are totally and utterly irresponsible - you need to somehow step up and take control.

Is it a WiFi tv or standard Ariel? Can you turn WiFi off?

BadTasteFlump · 04/06/2018 22:31

Him getting angry gets me uncomfortable like most marriages

That's not like 'most marriages'. That's an abusive marriage.

HeebieJeebies456 · 04/06/2018 22:32

Love Island is basically televised 'legalised' prostitution.
why does your dh think it's a good idea for his child to think that sort of behaviour is normal and acceptable?

Ginger1982 · 04/06/2018 22:34

Your DH should never have promised and you shouldn't have gone along with it. Is she always allowed to stay up this late or is it just for Love Island? I was in bed by 8.30 every school night until I was 13 with no tv except on Tuesdays and Sundays when I got to watch Peak Practice and London's Burning!

Stop being a ducking doormat.

Ginger1982 · 04/06/2018 22:34

Fucking, obviously!

Blizzardagain · 04/06/2018 22:40

Is this thread an actual joke? Wow.

Lafraise · 04/06/2018 22:42

OP can you unplug the TV? It's mad you've got to this point but I would do it to get my DD who is 10 out of this situation. I'd be absolutely horrified for her to see that show, honestly.

My DH has form for promising things that aren't practical (nothing remotely this gross tbh, but he has moments of weakness when he's trying to please them, usually spending money on them unnecessarily) but I just put my foot down and say no, it takes a firm hand but is doable.

I agree with pp, your DH seems to be retrenching on this out of spite, and you need to stand up to him. Actually he comes across as sinister as fuck

VanellopeVonSchweetz99 · 04/06/2018 22:43

Hell to the no. I'm pretty lax with DS (9) but no way.

BadTasteFlump · 04/06/2018 22:48

As an aside - I'm a bit shocked to hear Love Island is so grim! I watched the first series years ago and it was so bad it was good - there were 'celebs' like Abbey Titmus, Lee Sharpe, Paul Danan (sp?) and they were all acting like teenagers at a school disco - no sex stuff that I can remember, it was just sniggery funny. My teens haven't mentioned wanting to watch the new ones and reading this I'm glad they havent!

SilverySurfer · 04/06/2018 22:48

FFS go and unplug the tv and cut off the plug. I cannot believe any parent would allow a 10 year old to watch such a programme. You need to get your big girl's blouse on and demand some respect from both your DH and your DD. It's wholly unacceptable behaviour.

montenotte · 04/06/2018 22:51

i just about allowed DD age 10 to stay up til 10.10 last night to watch BGT!!

Just NO.

Jux · 04/06/2018 22:51

Well, frankly, why would you watch the show in the first place? You keep calling it trash and that's exactly what it is. If you yourself didn't watch it, and people like you didn't watch then, then no school children would watch and then there'd be no viewers and hurrah! It would no longer exist.

YOU set the example to your children.

19lottie82 · 04/06/2018 23:03

Jesus Christ........NO!

pieceofpurplesky · 04/06/2018 23:04

When she tells her teachers her ambition is to be in love Island and shag on TV you can just blame her dad Angry

19lottie82 · 04/06/2018 23:04

“I watched the first series years ago and it was so bad it was good - there were 'celebs' like Abbey Titmus, Lee Sharpe, Paul Danan (sp?) and they were all acting like teenagers at a school disco”

I remember that too! However, although they share the same name they are totally unrelated shows.

Mrskeats · 04/06/2018 23:04

Be a parent. I’m not easily shocked but this is unbelievable

Puffycat · 04/06/2018 23:06

I wouldn’t be happy about my kids watching it, it’s shite

PositiveVibez · 04/06/2018 23:08

My sister works in a school in a very deprived area. If a 10 year old told her she had been watching Love Island with her dad, she would have to report it as it is exposing children to not only sexually explicit content, but also a lot of sexually explicit language and general foul language.

My dd is 10 in December. I watch Love Island and love it, but my nearly 10yo would watch it over my dead body!!! There's no way on earth she would still be up watching telly at that time anyway.

Your husband sounds like a creepy twat.

Dermymc · 04/06/2018 23:12

If I had one of my. Y7 pupils saying they'd watched this with their parents I'd be putting in a safeguarding concern. OP call women's aid tomorrow and get the ball rolling to LTB

aintnothinbutagstring · 04/06/2018 23:14

Admittedly I don't watch Love Island, not a fan, though remember the tame version of celeb love island from years ago as mentioned by previous poster. However, just a quick google reveals highlights of tonights show including nudity and cuddling in bed, already! Not to mention its all tits, arse and bare chests. I'd rather my dh be mad at me than allow my 10yr old to watch that rubbish, so inappropriate.