To allow DD (10) to watch Love Island

[Laceystace]

So last year me and my older DC became addicted to the show love island. DH watches it from time to time however we felt our youngest DD ( 9 at the time) was too young to watch it. I personally believe that it's not really appropriate for any of my DC to be watching plus 2 are taking their GCSEs so I don't want any to be distracted. However I doubt it will stop them.

The problem is DH had promised that DD would be able to watch it this year. I knew it was a bad idea for him to promise this however DH thought DD would forget so I went along with it.

Now a year has passed and DD is getting prepared to watch the show. I feel really uncomfortable with the whole thing. The show isn't for children her age. 10 o'clock is too late for her to be staying awake watching trash on TV. I told her yesterday she wouldn't be able to watch it which led to a big tantrum which only clarified my feelings towards the situation. She was crying all last night about how I promised etc. I apologised to her, however she wasnt taking any of it. She felt it is unfair how it was only her that couldn't watch it in the family. I tried to persuade the older DC to maybe give this series a miss or watch it in their bedrooms as DD feels left out. They now feel its unfair to them and that they prefer watching it together as its the only show we all seem to like watching together. DH thinks I should let her watch the first episode as she most likely won't like the show and won't watch it again in the future. However I don't think it's about her liking the show it's about her feeling left out.

I really don't know how I'm going to deal with this it's starts in a few minutes, I'm thinking of maybe allowing DD to maybe watch a few minutes then put her to bed. I just think its a shame that the only show we are happy to watch is trash TV it's embarrassing. I think it would do the family good giving it a miss this year. I just don't want to come across as a 'party pooper'.

@laceystace Are you actually SERIOUS?!

A big fat NO. (Obviously!)

They have sex on that show sometimes

Why do you think it's on after 9pm?!

Is there no local organisation that does help for women in your area. You could really do with some kind of external intervention both for you and your children

Your husband is a cunt and the older children don’t sound much better to be honest. It doesn’t sound like any of them treat you with any respect to be honest

So, to compound your h's fabulous parenting last night, he let her have the day off school today as a result?

What a prize.

Your older children treat you like crap too. No doubt following their father's example. Can you get some counseling for yourself just to build some self esteem so you can deal with this and put your foot down? You sound trapped.

How old are your DC OP? Are you alone alone? As in no family or friends/school Mums nearby?
I would seriously reconsider ending things, this guy has less than zero respect for you and he’s teaching his children to be the same

So she missed school because he kept her up watching adult TV.

Fucking hell. I feel really sad for your DD.

And does he intend to tell the school the real reason that she was absent?

Thought not.

I was the child who was scared of making my father angry, and who survived by walking on eggshells.

I've apologised to my mother for making my father mad at her. The same mother that I now have a difficult relationship with as I know she was complicit in the abuse by her refusal to leave.

As an adult I have PTSD as well as other mental health problems, linked to my childhood.

I would genuinely have ended my own life during my last bout of depression, were it not for my dc.

There really are worse things to be than a lone parent. You really need to consider the long term implications of your inaction.

Poor child is being abused emotionally, and you are allowing it.
It sounds too late for your older children, but you still have time to save your dd if you want to.
Your husband is an abuser and you are enabling him
HTH

I hope somebody reports the pair of you to ss, you are no better for not protecting your children.
Do you really not love them at all, are they not more important than upsetting your cunt of a husband.
This is truly sickening two parents who couldn't give a shit, poor kids.
They deserve better, lets hope there are people out there who will care for your dd.

Your DD’s childhood sounds similar to mine.

I avoid my parents at all costs now. She’ll do the same to you as an adult. Neither of you seem to care all that much about her though so perhaps that won’t bother you.

Jesus Christ...she is learning some very damaging lessons in this fucked up situation.

100% agree. Op you need to step and be a parent not let dh or any of your kids disrespect you like this. Can you see it improving?

She didn’t go to school?
If I knew you I would report you to social services.
Divorce is a better option than this.
This thread is making me very angry as I work with kids and see the damage that bad parenting does.

Op you are very weak, to the severe detriment to your young child, you are not fit to be a teacher sadly.

If they do not listen to you over something that is bad for your DD, simply pull the plug from the tv and cut the cord in half, calmly explain(again ) why, and tell them you will do this as many times as necessary until you are liustened to as the PARENT here.

If your DH is not happy TOUGH, he is acting like a nasty child so treat him like one.

Grow some cojones and start getting your priorities in order. Your youngest DD needs appropriate boundaries and your older children need to learn who is boss YOU, your DH is a joke as a father and you should LTB.

Wow, your DH really stood his ground on letting your DD watch it, why? why was it so important to him that they shared this activity of watching inappropriate TV? very disturbing behavior and as her mother you have a duty to protect her, and I don't just mean from love island.
I would have shut the whole house down by flipping off the mains!
Really feel for your DD.

Jesus Christ...she is learning some very damaging lessons in this fucked up situation.

Absolutely 100% agree.

And then he kept her off school the next day! Why? Because she was tired after a ridiculously late night for a young child of 10, or because he couldn't be arsed to take her?... or out of pure spite to put you in your place?

This is all so very dysfunctional.

He knows you feel weak without him, and that you think you couldn't cope as a lone parent. He likes it like that. It keeps you where he wants you. Its why he allows the kids to walk all over you too. All of them chipping away at you, the constant disrespect - it keeps you weak. It keeps you there.

If my DC ever spoke to me the way your DC speak to you, and disrespected my authority, my DH would haul them over hot coals... as would I if the roles were reversed.

I would also find it very difficult to see my DH in a good light after this... wanting to watch a programme of this nature with a 10 yr old is not normal. To the extent that your DH continuously over-ruled you in front of her to do so, strikes me as he really wanted to watch this with her. And that makes my flesh crawl.

Maybe a coincidence but there's a Laceystacey username (not Laceystace but still) on one of the transgender threads calling ppl transphobic.

i just dont get your dh reasoning-its fun is it-why didnt he tell the schoolthen what she was watching and they why she didnt go in

no didnt think so-hes a real piece of work

oh and apologising? wtf for

There’s something really creepy about this

What does your husband get out of watching this kind of show with his 10 year old child? What on Earth in the content is appropriate for a child to watch?

It’s unsavoury that he is so hell bent on watching young girls on tv but to be so keen to watch it with your young daughter is ringing all sorts of creepy alarm bells.

He may as well just put on a porno....

Fucking grim.

I have 6 kids with DH. 5 still living with us, so divorce isn't an option for me. I couldn't look after the DC by myself. That's rubbish and you know it.

YOU are choosing to stay in this relationship because it is easier for YOU.

I'm not saying it is going to be easy to leave, with 5 children but it will be a damn sight easier then YOU living like this and worse still teaching YOUR children that YOU are not worth being treated well, YOU teaching your girls that they are worthless and can be abused by their future partners. YOUR sons can treat women like they are 3rd class citizens and can do what they want.

flashnazia it's the same poster, half her comments were deleted on that thread. After reading this one no one's going to be taking parenting advice from her.

Nope, I won’t let me children watch it.
I see it as prostitution. Women being paid to go on tv and shag men, men being paid to go on tv and shag women.
I want a lot more for my daughter than that.

Her dad encourages her to watch inappropriate television and she apologizes for making him angry..
Why are you allowing a child to be exposed to abusive behaviour? You seem more concerned about yourself and your argument with him than what your child is dealing with.