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Original poster

To allow DD (10) to watch Love Island

298 replies

Laceystace · 04/06/2018 20:39

So last year me and my older DC became addicted to the show love island. DH watches it from time to time however we felt our youngest DD ( 9 at the time) was too young to watch it. I personally believe that it's not really appropriate for any of my DC to be watching plus 2 are taking their GCSEs so I don't want any to be distracted. However I doubt it will stop them.

The problem is DH had promised that DD would be able to watch it this year. I knew it was a bad idea for him to promise this however DH thought DD would forget so I went along with it.

Now a year has passed and DD is getting prepared to watch the show. I feel really uncomfortable with the whole thing. The show isn't for children her age. 10 o'clock is too late for her to be staying awake watching trash on TV. I told her yesterday she wouldn't be able to watch it which led to a big tantrum which only clarified my feelings towards the situation. She was crying all last night about how I promised etc. I apologised to her, however she wasnt taking any of it. She felt it is unfair how it was only her that couldn't watch it in the family. I tried to persuade the older DC to maybe give this series a miss or watch it in their bedrooms as DD feels left out. They now feel its unfair to them and that they prefer watching it together as its the only show we all seem to like watching together. DH thinks I should let her watch the first episode as she most likely won't like the show and won't watch it again in the future. However I don't think it's about her liking the show it's about her feeling left out.

I really don't know how I'm going to deal with this it's starts in a few minutes, I'm thinking of maybe allowing DD to maybe watch a few minutes then put her to bed. I just think its a shame that the only show we are happy to watch is trash TV it's embarrassing. I think it would do the family good giving it a miss this year. I just don't want to come across as a 'party pooper'.

OP posts:
TrippingTheVelvet · 04/06/2018 23:18

Are you not totally cringing knowing that all the teachers and other parents will be judging the hell out of you for this?

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 04/06/2018 23:23

You're husband is either deliberately hateful and abusive to you and controls you completely.

Or he's happy to teach his girls that they are property of men.
Oh wait one leads into the other. He's teaching his daughter that men like him can treat her like you are treated.

Honestly? I'd get divorced from this asshole.

Because I expect he's demanding and controlling in bed and disrespectful in other ways too.

What a vile bastard.

But you chose to stay there. Unless it's only been in the last year, you know what he's like and still stick around. I sympathise truly but the only person who can protect yourself and your kids is you - because he certainly isn't.

Growingboys · 04/06/2018 23:28

Totally inappropriate. I wouldn't let any of my children watch it and two of them are older than yours.

OuchLegoHurts · 04/06/2018 23:43

Protect your child for fucks sake.

OuchLegoHurts · 04/06/2018 23:43

I can't drag her upstairs Eh, yes you can.

Aquathest · 05/06/2018 00:07

OP - I hope it doesn't turn nasty between you and your husband (especially in front of the DCs) but equally you cannot stand by and let him help corrupt your DDs mind.

I have never watched Love Island but from the sounds of it, there cannot be an ounce of entertainment factor in that show for a 10 year old.

Snowysky20009 · 05/06/2018 00:08

Following from my last post, I went into my 14 year old and said I now know what Love Island is about, but asked him 'do you?'. I asked him if he understood the psychological and emotional aspect of the programme. He said no, so I asked him why. He said because he's not old enough to have sex and never had it. So I said if that's the case do you think it is a suitable programme to watch?. I left the room and 5 minutes later he came in to say he'd turned it off, and when he told his friends on snap chat, 6 of them also turned it off. So I think some peer pressure was involved here.

But thanks for bringing this up, as I said, I didn't question what programme he wanted to watch, I just left him to it, and only put 2 + 2 together that it was Love Island (which I've never watched) when I read this thread.

MLMsuperfan · 05/06/2018 00:11

This thread has made me quite sad. OP knows it's inappropriate. She has tried to intervene but is being horribly undermined by her DH. I think OP needs to have a long talk with her DH about why he has done that.

Noboozeforme · 05/06/2018 00:29

I'm a liberal parent by most people's standards but I've told my almost 16 yr old son that I don't want him watching love island. He LOVES 'reality' shows (celeb, BB etc) and I do let him watch some (I only let him watch the day time version of BB until recently) but fuck me, love island is a disgusting portrayal of everything that is wrong with our young people today.

ElderflowerWaterIsDelish · 05/06/2018 00:33

I haven't watched love island myself but have heard of it being referred to in newspapers and magazines...isn't that the reality show where the contestants have sex with each other on tv?...if so then it's not really appropriate viewing for kids especially not a 10 year old

SleepingStandingUp · 05/06/2018 00:37

It's me against 6 people. That's what I'm scared of
What are you scared would have happened if you'd gone down and turned the telly off OP?

TuTru · 05/06/2018 00:46

Nobody should watch shit like that, let alone impressionable preteens!!!

MaisyPops · 05/06/2018 06:35

Are you not totally cringing knowing that all the teachers and other parents will be judging the hell out of you for this?
Not so much judging on the teacher side, more 'need to report a safeguarding concern for a child watching sexually inappropriate content' and 'adult male wants to watch sexually inappropriate content with a 10 year old child'.

iMatter · 05/06/2018 07:09

YY Maisypops

Noboozeforme · 05/06/2018 07:15

It's not even the 'they have sex on tv' part for me. It's the portrayal that bed hopping, treating others like shit and a fucked moral compass that I don't want my kids watching.

Anniegetyourguns · 05/06/2018 07:31

Definitely be careful when she goes to school, exposing children to media that is unsuitable for their ageis considered a form of child abuse. At least that's what it said it my safeguarding training in February.

ForalltheSaints · 05/06/2018 07:41

It is an awful show if the trailers and article in yesterday's papers are anything to go by, and so the OP is correct in not wanting her DD not to watch it.

NotTheMrMenAgain · 05/06/2018 07:46

No, no, no, no, no. What others have said, with bells on. Hell would freeze over before I'd let my girl watch this poisonous crap.

WowLookAtYou · 05/06/2018 08:24

Bloody hell, OP!
I appreciate the position you're in re: your dick of a husband, but I am APPALLED that you allowed this to get so out-of-hand. Once your dd realised you weren't on the same page as him, you had lost.
But I'm afraid you have bigger problems than this dreadful show.
And as a teacher of this age group also, I would sure as hell judge you badly for this. And report it as a safeguarding issue as well.

TheVanguardSix · 05/06/2018 08:37

You poor thing. I was about to flame you, of course, but I read more. I really feel for you because I have a similar issue - except DH allows DD who is 8 to stay up until 10pm watching Antiques Roadshow- so it's NOT Love Island and I don't need to set your moral compass for you. You're not happy about your DD watching this inappropriate programme, which is why you came here to MN in the first place.
But it's the undermining of your parenting by your DH that is the crux of the matter. He doesn't respect your daughter's boundaries, her needs or your input or wishes as a parent.
Fight your corner, OP. Take control of this. Your DD WILL respect you very quickly. I go through phases like this with DD and DH- like they're some little buddy-buddy team that can do what they like. But I crack down hard and yank the reins from DH when he starts pulling this cr*p. And that's what you've got to do. You won't change the man but you can take control of the situation. You must cross swords with your DH over this. You WILL cross swords. But you've got to regain your role and your influence and this won't happen unless you are willing to go through a tricky patch. It's worth the battle.
Hugs and Flowers

montenotte · 05/06/2018 08:54

bring back Mary Whitehouse.
Do we really need this utter shit on our TVs at all?

Shoxfordian · 05/06/2018 09:08

Your problem isn't Love Island; its your husband. Does he always undermine you and insist on his own rules for you and your children being imposed? Your 10 year old is obviously far too young for love island

metalmum15 · 05/06/2018 09:12

Why not watch some David Attenborough together? Great family viewing, very educational for kids, and your dh still gets to watch some animals rutting.

Roomba · 05/06/2018 09:41

I'm another one who would be making a safeguarding referral over this if a 10yo told me they were watching it (with their father too, most fathers would not want to watch what is practically soft porn with their pre teen daughter).

ReadytoTalk · 05/06/2018 09:55

Your husband is basically enjoying watching what is nothing more than porn and the degradation of women with his 10 year old daughter. I wonder if he'd be happy for her to go on the show in a few years.