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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fuming with XH after taking out DS to a posh long lunch the day before GCSEs

235 replies

Bouledeneige · 03/06/2018 23:29

Just that really, DS has 8 GCSEs exams this week and three tomorrow. Staying at his Dad's this weekend who decides to take him and his sister and the new girlfriend and her kids to a really famous posh London restaurant - out at midday home 4.30pm. (A man not known for his generosity!.....)

What is he thinking? Its just seems really unfair to my son. DS wouldn't have enjoyed it that much, he's quite shy and socially awkward but clearly had no say in the matter. DD who is doing A levels went too. DS refused to do any further work when he came home to mine because his Dad made him get up early to do some.

I'm fuming.

OP posts:
FASH84 · 03/06/2018 23:30

The exam is tomorrow he worked this morning then relaxed and went out for lunch with his dad. Sounds more sensible than cramming all day.

MyDcAreMarvel · 03/06/2018 23:31

What he doesn’t know the day before he isn’t suddenly going to know. Good idea to relax before exam time.

Merryoldgoat · 03/06/2018 23:31

Why? He should be done with the bulk of his revising and relaxing the weekend before, surely?

catlovingdoctor · 03/06/2018 23:32

If he got up early to do some work what’s the problem? To be honest the day right before mayor exams I’m not able to take anything in, a nice lunch with family sounds like a nice thing to do to relax before a stressful exam season.

Ohyesiam · 03/06/2018 23:33

Huh? What am you missing? You are fuming because he went to an event he wouldn’t have enjoyed?
Or because he should have been working all day?
Why does your dd and her a levels only get a passing mention at the end?

KeepServingTheDrinks · 03/06/2018 23:33

3 exams tomorrow????

DDs in the middle of GCSEs too, but she's only got 1 exam tomorrow.

MorningsEleven · 03/06/2018 23:33

Sounds like a thoughtful and sensible thing to have done.

Anythingforacatslife · 03/06/2018 23:33

Not sure I understand what the problem is with this? He did some work before he went out and then had the rest of the day ‘off’. Sounds like a good start to a potentially stressful week.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 03/06/2018 23:33

and there's no day where she has more than 2.

cheriseb · 03/06/2018 23:33

Failing to see what the issue is here

Littletreefrog · 03/06/2018 23:33

Sounds like a good idea. It takes his mind off the exam stress and let's him unwind. He isn't going to learn anything new the afternoon before the exam. Plus next week is going to be full on so good to schedule some down time where you can.

19lottie82 · 03/06/2018 23:34

He still had plenty of time to do revision before midday and after 430.

It would most likely do him some good to relax for part of the day before his exam, rather than stressing himself out.

As my DM used to say, if you don’t know it by now......

TammySwansonTwo · 03/06/2018 23:35

What he doesn’t know the day before he isn’t suddenly going to know

YABU - I crammed hard for my GCSEs and most definitely learnt things the day before an exam that came up.

Having said that, I don’t think relaxing the day before is a bad thing if you’re well prepared.

DickensianHysteric · 03/06/2018 23:36

He was only out for a few hours in the afternoon, after revising in the morning. It won't make any difference at this stage. I hope your DS does well.

courtneyseb · 03/06/2018 23:36

Fuming? Omg yes YABU

lhastingsmua · 03/06/2018 23:39

I’m so confused as to why you’re annoyed about this. It’s only lunch? Revision at this point is cramming rather than revising, I very much doubt whatever he would have looked over would have magically given him a perfect grade.

And when I took my a levels, I had 3 exams on one day (for maths, English and philosophy - a long, intense day) so I can relate to your son having multiple exams. I don’t think the ‘extra revision’ would have made him any less stressed, or more prepared

HeddaGarbled · 03/06/2018 23:40

Responsible and supportive father makes his son get up early to do some revision, then takes him out for slap up family lunch day before exams.

YABU.

Irksomeness · 03/06/2018 23:42

I think it was a dumb thing to do too. It would have been different if it was a more low key shorter event doing something he enjoyed. YANBU

gillybeanz · 03/06/2018 23:44

You are annoyed he has a new girlfriend with kids and your kids went out with them like a happy family.
Would you have liked to have done something special with your dc before their exams?
he's made the effort, and been generous for once.

Hissy · 03/06/2018 23:46

You’re only pissed off cos your ex has done this

What you dc don’t know today, they’ll never know, and actually being given space to gain some much needed perspective will serve them better.

It’ll be ok. You’re getting caught up in the stress of it all, don’t.

Be calm, be there for them.

Original poster
Bouledeneige · 03/06/2018 23:50

I'm fuming because I dont understand why it was urgent to take him out all afternoon for 4 and a half hours - 5 hours. He's not been a fantastic reviser and I think its valuable time the day before to do last minute cramming and memorising. He's only done about 3 hours today max.

I'm not sure he would have found it relaxing actually - being out with strangers - he is pretty socially awkward and not always very at ease. And wouldn't it make you more nervous to know you were missing on a last chance to learn stuff? My DD was pretty edgy when she got back and went off to revise all evening.

I'm not sure why you would doubt the fact he has three exams tomorrow Keepserving! Just because your DD doesnt!!!

He has two Economics exams and a history exam tomorrow. He has Geography and English language on Tuesday etc etc.... 8 in total this week and 6 more the week after. Doesn't your DD? Oh well Edexcel, the school, him, and me must have got it wrong!

OP posts:
welshmist · 03/06/2018 23:51

We always took our children out for a meal the day before and generally tried to get them to relax. They had worked so hard for so long, much more than OH and I did back in the day. So I think the ex. did the right thing to be honest.

Cuffuffle · 03/06/2018 23:53

Jesus Christ it's GCSE's not the end of the world! It's parent's like you that cause children to have such high anxiety and other mental health issues. Only 3 hours? Give the kid a break.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/06/2018 23:58

And wouldn't it make you more nervous to know you were missing on a last chance to learn stuff
But he could have come back and revised like his sister did, but chose not to because he'd already done some. Doesn't sound like he'd have spent all day at his Dad's revising anyway tbh. Least Dad got him up early to do some

Icequeen01 · 03/06/2018 23:58

Our DS has his first A level exam tomorrow. This weekend we have taken him to the cinema and out for a meal. He's done a couple of hours of revision each day but we think it's important he has some downtime now. I'm not sure why you are so upset?