Friend called me lazy - aibu?

[VogueVVague]

So im going to an event held by my DP's family.

I like to look good but there are some things i just cannot be fucked with and ironing is one of them.

DP is much more image conscious than me.

He asked me what i was wearing to the event and i showed him my dress and said "you have a choice: either you can be the guy who turns up with a girl in a creased dress or you can iron it for me".

So he's ironing it.

Friend was here for this and said it was one of the laziest things she had heard it a long time and kept going on about my "poor" DP.

AIBU?

The point was i dont give a shit if the dress is creased.

I hate ironing, but I think you’re attitude is a bit off tbh. It was a family event on your husband’s side and you can’t be bothered to iron your own dress. Instead you order him to do it for you, telling him otherwise he will be accompanying a creased mess. Lazy and bossy OP - sorry!

*your

Fucking hell its not being stuck up wanting your clothes ironed and not creased.

It's called having standards and giving a shit.

Totally depends on the dress, no?

Fronm the household jobs, ironing is one my favourites. TV on, no dirty stuff to deal with, just nice smelling clothes. But if you hate it and your DH doesn't mind, to call you lazy for not doing this one thing is at least jumping to conclusions. It's a bit sexist too. Not a man's job kind of thing. I don't think you'd be called lazy if he was changing the your car tyre for example...

If you are spending time and energy doing hair, make up and nails .... do you know what I can't be arsed to finish writing this.....

I am a lazy fucker. Normally I don’t iron anything or give a shit. However, for something like this I’d get the iron out. But if your DP is happy to do it then great!

Don't know why everyone is giving you such a hard time op. It was obviously a joke. I get my partner to do my ironing cos he is so much better than me. Heaven forbid sometimes I will put something on with out ironing it cos they will fall out after a bit.

It depends - if you have that attitude about everything in life then maybe yes... but if you are pretty active and on the ball about other things, putting ironing low down on the priority list, then no! (But I wouldn't wear a creased dress to a wedding, but that's another argument!)

FWIW, I hate ironing. But apart from plumbing/electric etc I do pretty much everything around the house. My husband does the clever electrics etc and also all the ironing. It's a good balance!

Why on earth would you not make the effort for your partner? You actually would go out in a creased dress because you was that lazy you couldn’t take the few minutes out to iron it? If you had any respect for your partner you would make that pathetic effort and make your man proud. It’s not even like ur asking if you should iron your husbands clothes but your own!! If you was my partner I wouldn’t want to take you!!

It's an event Op. You're a lazy cf.

His response should have been "you either iron it and don't look like a fucking tramp at a wedding, or you don't come at all"...

I think perhaps the way you phrased it is why she commented. It is a dickish way of saying it.

^^ This. How you phrased it sounds very arrogant as well as dickish. I’d be pissed of if my OH spoke to me like that. Let alone in front of one of his friends.

Yeah you're lazy. I don't generally iron, but for a special occasion I'd make an effort. Are you proud to be able to boss your oh around like that, as though they are under your command? You sound a like a prick.

Yes yabu. That is a totally twatish thing to say.

I don't have time to iron. I never iron, but anything that needs ironing goes to the dry cleaners who will iron it for me. I don't care about creased clothes generally, but this sounds like a time when a creased dress would have been inappropriate.

I haven't ironed a thing in years. I don't see it as lazy, just personal preference. It all gets creased from wearing anyway. But if my dh wanted to iron things for me because of HIS attachment to ironing, then I'd be happy to let him knock himself out!

Ohhh but I just reread and saw that you suggested he could iron it for you - I thought it was his bugbear. So are you saying you want things to be ironed but just can't be arsed doing it yourself? Bit lazy then!

The point here is not whether you’re lazy - if your partner is happy to do you a favour, good for you, I’m sure you do a lot of stuff for him too. The point is that a friend was certainly out of place commenting on it the way she did. Does she go on about how poor you are when you cook for your husband or hang out his washing? Sexist crap - division of tasks in your household is nobody else’s business but your and your husband’s.

Smellyjo, OP wasn’t bothered about the dress being ironed, her husband was - that’s why he ironed it.

I suspect the op did want her dress ironed but couldn’t be arsed hence manipulating her partner to do it. If she genuinely didn’t care she’d have just put the crumpled dress on and said nothing.
I imagine the ops friend thinks the same.

If it needed ironing and you didn't do it then you are lazy, whether you like ironing or not.
I'd say the same if a man said the same.
I hate ironing and couldn't wit for the dc to be old enough to iron their own clothes.
In the meantime i didn't send them in creased clothes, and they weren't bothered what they looked like either.
There are standards you know.
Your friend was right, not necessarily bout the poor dp though, if he didn't mind doing it.

God you sound lazy

Of roles were reversed if be pretty disgusted. Marriage is about respect and love and sometimes even putting the other person first. I see none of that in your post. Tell you what don't bother going if it's such an effort.

Yes. You'd brush your hair before you go out. Why wouldn't you iron your clothes?