To think vegetarian dd is being unreasonable?

[Abergavenny]

A few weeks ago, Dd aged 14 declared that she is now a vegetarian. It’s a bit of a hassle, given that the rest of us (2 parents + 2 siblings) all eat meat, but I’m getting the hang of it i.e. doing quorn chicken for her while doing normal chicken for the rest of us.

Yesterday, however, she refused to eat what I’d made her - I’d done a tomato pasta bake with meatballs, and put veggie meatballs in at one end for her. But she refused to eat it because it had been cooked in the same dish as the meat.

AIBU to think she’s being unreasonably precious given that she ate meat for 13 and a bit years before this?

And is it unreasonable to refuse to cook her anything else, and tell her she either eats veggie options cooked in the same pan as meat or makes her own meal?

Would people really make a 14 year old cook for herself? Stop feeding her because she chose to be vegetarian?

Even if she does, it’ll still increase your workload as there’ll be clearing up for two meal, unless you plan to make her clear up after herself too?

I think that’s pretty crappy. We’re a family. I wouldn’t not cook for one person. You’re punishing her for what is actually a good choice.

Just shift your meal plans. Cook some veggie meals, plan some that can be easily adapted- chicken kiev on one tray, veggie option on another. Same sides for everyone.

YABU.

There was a lot of this 'vegetarianism is so difficult to cater for and vegetarians are so precious' attitude around when I turned vegetarian 25 years ago. I'm astonished that it's still around.

Nobody needs (or should eat, health- and ethics-wise) meat every day. Why ever not broaden your mind expand your repertoire and help your health and budget by eating vegetarian a few times a week? The rest of the time she can cook for herself if she feels like it, or you do things in separate dishes or pans - it's really not hard.

I'm vegetarian and dh and my 3 dc eat meat. We eat exclusively vegetarian when I'm around, and I only do about two-thirds of the cooking. They have meat when out and about and when I'm not in. They survive.

My sisters turned veggie early teens. My mum said that's fine but you cook for yourself. It made them really skilled in the kitchen. Hand over the reins

I'm not a veggie but I totally get her point. My other half is a veggie (former meat eater) and I would never do this to him. No vegetarian would tolerate that, eating veggie food cooked in the same pan next to meat!

Well, at least you told her beforehand. That's something I suppose.

I would not have eaten that either.

YABU, no vegetarian would eat this. Actually she’s doing a really good thing for herself and the environment, don’t try and make it difficult for her

I'm a veggie and this is gross. Sorry, OP, but if I were your daughter I wouldn't eat it, either!

YABU.

I was younger than your DD when I stopped eating meat, and my parents still cooked for me. When DH is cooking, he'll cook me a veggie version and I cook meat for DH or friends. We all cook veggie and meat things separately without even thinking.

Occasionally any of us may not keep things completely separate (eg use the same spoon to stir quorn bolognese and beef bolognese), which I don't worry about, but cooking it in the same dish would be too much!

And yes, it is BU to force her to eat “veggie options” in the same pan as the meat. It’s not a veggie option. You’re cooking the food. Put it on another pan or on some foil. I think at that age, it’s a good dea to respect her beliefs. By all means get her to help cooking as it’s making extra work for you.

i'm a vegetarian as well. I wouldn't have eaten it. I would still do her cooking though, the rest of m family eat meat and I wouldn't expect them to cook their own. I just do 2 meals

YABVU

Please don't treat this as a fad. I turned veggie at age 11 and my parents had no idea what to do. I ate a lot of cheese pizza etc. It was awful. Over 20 years later I'm still veggie. To show your support why not invest in a veggie cook book? Veggie diet isn't all about 'fake meat'.

Yes yes to the environment - red meat is the biggest cause of climate change
If we all gave up red meat in the uk we’d nearly meet our climate/carbon targets without doing anything else

My parents cooked for me when I turned veggie at 12 (I started eating meat again at 26) and I cook for DD when she turned veggie aged 10. It is a pain though esp as DS does not eat any veg. It feels hypocritical to moan though

Yabu

YABU! Very!
Why you couldn't all just eat the non-meat ones I don't know - they taste so alike, and are better for your health. Please be more supportive of your dd. She has made a compassionate choice and I'd be proud.

What's her reason for not eating? Is she going the whole way and not eating sweets etc with gelatine in them?

My daughter doesn't eat meat because she doesn't like the texture. She has no issue with a piece of quorn being cooked in the same sauce that the meat is being cooked in.

If her reasons for not eating meat had been different I would be more respectful and cook separately

She isn’t being precious. She has made a choice, most likely made for ethical reasons.

I agree with others, try eating vegi as a family for a couple of days a week.

As a strict vegetarian, there is no way I’d eat what you cooked – it isn’t remotely vegetarian, so I don’t blame your daughter for refusing to eat it.

I’ve been vegetarian since I was younger than your daughter, and my mum still happily cooked my meals, although I did get more involved as I got older. Maybe try to get your daughter involved in meal preparation, she could find some great recipes online.

What? Your joking?... you know full well your being unreasonable..poor kid

Remind me of my other half's parents. He's been veggie for over 20 years and they just don't get it. "Would you like a bit if ham with that?" "We can get you a Hawaiian pizza, just pick the ham off if you don't like it" "we haven't a clue what to get in for you!" Um, how about a jacket potato with cheese and baked beans? Not hard, not exotic, just normal food without meat!

Is it the extra washing up. She could do it.

I cooked veggie for one child for 10 years and I’m genuinely proud that I never cross contaminated/ used stock/ moaned about it. YABVU

I spent roughly half my life in another country where vegetarianism isn't as popular as in the UK, and from my experiences of that I feel like pointing out here that chicken curry with the chicken mainly pulled out also isn't vegetarian-friendly!!

Why you couldn't all just eat the non-meat ones I don't know - they taste so alike

No they don't - bloody horrible stuff

Dd has been veggie for 2 years.

Buy some veggie cook books and expand your repertoire. It won’t do anyone any harm to eat veggie a few times a week.

And yabu - cook veggie food separately from meat!!

She’s also old enough to have an input into her menu. Ask her to choose some nutritionally balanced meals each week.

Was this a sudden decision? If it’s out of the blue, do keep an eye on your dd as some dc use being veggie as a way to control food and what they eat.

Good luck.