To think vegetarian dd is being unreasonable?

[Abergavenny]

A few weeks ago, Dd aged 14 declared that she is now a vegetarian. It’s a bit of a hassle, given that the rest of us (2 parents + 2 siblings) all eat meat, but I’m getting the hang of it i.e. doing quorn chicken for her while doing normal chicken for the rest of us.

Yesterday, however, she refused to eat what I’d made her - I’d done a tomato pasta bake with meatballs, and put veggie meatballs in at one end for her. But she refused to eat it because it had been cooked in the same dish as the meat.

AIBU to think she’s being unreasonably precious given that she ate meat for 13 and a bit years before this?

And is it unreasonable to refuse to cook her anything else, and tell her she either eats veggie options cooked in the same pan as meat or makes her own meal?

Surely people who make a fuss about other people being vegetarian are attention seeking. Vegetarianism is so mainstream and it's so easy to accommodate that to make a song and dance about vegetarians is ridiculous. It's not the 70's where no one had any idea about what vegetarians eat! I can't believe it's still a shock to people that vegetarians don't want their food cooked with meat because they don't want to eat meat, which includes meat juices and remnants of meat left on a barbeque!

Do people honestly think that vegetarianism is a modern invention?

It depends whether they bought enough meat to include you. If they didn't, deliberately not buying a piece of meat for you, then your vegetarian box is ticked.

I agree with you that vegetarians just don't want to eat dead animals, that's fine.

My point is simply, from an animal welfare Point of view ONLY, it doesn't make any difference if a bit of juice gets mixed in.

I don't think anyone was arguing that it was an animal welfare issue, when the animal is already dead.

I have a vegetarian friend who came by last winter and wanted a cup of my home-made soup - that day being tomato soup with tiny meatballs. A favorite here in Belgium 😊 I didn't know she was coming, so I didn't do it on purpose! She ate the soup and put the meatballs on a saucer I offered her. And she knows that if I had known it would've been vegs only, because that's what friends do! Meaning : I agree with your daughter OP, but she could've let it pass for just one time and made some serious agreements with you - yes, also about cooking for herself and/or helping out with the extra washing up!

Just adjusting my tin hat....

Don't encourage this food fetish.

Make her cook her own meals.

Serve up delicious meals for the rest of your family, she will soon come back with her tail between her legs.

Never met a happy vegetarian, never met a healthy one.

Never met a happy vegetarian, never met a healthy one

Then you should get out more.

All bar one of the longest and healthiest living communities in the world are vegetarian/vegan.

Only community that are long lived and eat meat are an Italian family so it is down to genetics

Some fascinating and very funny statements being written about vegetarians on this thread.

I know someone who might make this part of his stand up routine.

"Never met a happy vegetarian, never met a healthy one."

A significant %age of the world population is vegetarian, you know!

Should we tell Jainist, Hindus and Buddhists to start eating meat as they are practicing a food fetish.

Hmm. Both my parents and all grandparents and aunts and uncles ate meat. They weren't the healthiest of people. Lots of cancer and heart problems. Therefore I've not known many healthy meatveatwrs.

I think you're being a little bit unreasonable but I can understand that separate cooking must be a nightmare. Your daughter is certainly old enough to start learning to cook for herself, so this could be a good opportunity for her.

Dp is the only meat eater in our family and he is miserable (even before his diagnosis) and has bowel cancer.

It's not difficult once you get over the 'a meal must contain meat' concept.

Whole swathes of popular food is veggie or very easily veggie. It's not unusual for us to have a meal then realise it was actally vegan (and my lot will eat any critter apart from cute fluffy bunny rabbits - which I find a bit odd as from my memory it is delicious).

Leafy greens and plant sources are actually a better source of iron as the body obsorbs them more easily so actually your elder daughter can afford to not eat meat for a meal. I doubt she has bacon in with her Cheerios

Mumsnet is full of people who cook separate meals for different members of the family- but are utterly outraged at the thought of one of them being vegetarian! Bizarre.

Oddly enough, I’m vegetarian and am both healthy and happy. I even get through the day without passive aggressive sneers at people who dare to eat a different diet to me.

@SherbrookeFosterer you're just displaying your utter ignorance and your lack of experience.

As others have asked, do you consider religious diets to be "food fetishes" too?

I hope you make all your children cook, not just the ones you dislike for their "food fetishes".

“I even get through the day without passive aggressive sneers at people who dare to eat a different diet to me.”
it must be the magic hat........

Yabu, I'm vegetarian and I wouldn't have eaten that. If your cooking for her respect her choice. If you don't want to cook for her then let her cook for herself

@SherbrookeFosterer

Don't encourage this food fetish.

What a horrible way to describe a life choice that happens to be different to yours.

Serve up delicious meals for the rest of your family, she will soon come back with her tail between her legs.

So more passive aggression to 'teach her a lesson' and win. Rather than respecting her.

Never met a happy vegetarian, never met a healthy one.

I've met plenty who were both.

Well, I'm happy and healthy, and have been veggie for 27 years.

I haven’t read the thread but when I sent veggie at 14 my mum told me I’d have to cook for myself. I think she thought it would put me off, but I was completely committed and I did my own cooking. She bought me a cookbook and would buy me whatever o needed. I would not eat things cooked with meat or have meat gravy etc. This is a big transition and if she is veggie for ethical reasons then you AIBU to disregard her feelings. So I don’t blame your daughter. I think you should support her choices and have an honest conversation about how much extra work it is for you. Plenty of veggie meals are good for meat eaters and it’s easy to do whole meals and add meat for those who want it, at the end.

OP just on the anemia- I’ve been veggie for 30 years. My meat eating mum and sister both suffer from anemia. I never have. Not even whilst pregnant so it may not follow. Plenty of plant sources of iron. Clearly you’d need to watch to check that she is ok, but don’t assume that no meat = anaemia

Mum was anaemic and she ate any critter going (loved raw meat too).

She has a point. She shouldn't have to eat meat juices.
Saying that - I'd tell her to cook her own food from now on, and I'd stop doing it for her.
She'll need to learn if she's going to be veggie for life and she's old enough to learn too.