To think vegetarian dd is being unreasonable?

[Abergavenny]

A few weeks ago, Dd aged 14 declared that she is now a vegetarian. It’s a bit of a hassle, given that the rest of us (2 parents + 2 siblings) all eat meat, but I’m getting the hang of it i.e. doing quorn chicken for her while doing normal chicken for the rest of us.

Yesterday, however, she refused to eat what I’d made her - I’d done a tomato pasta bake with meatballs, and put veggie meatballs in at one end for her. But she refused to eat it because it had been cooked in the same dish as the meat.

AIBU to think she’s being unreasonably precious given that she ate meat for 13 and a bit years before this?

And is it unreasonable to refuse to cook her anything else, and tell her she either eats veggie options cooked in the same pan as meat or makes her own meal?

I think If you eat meat for more than 10 years you may die to Sadeyes.

#everyfuckerdies.

#vegetariansareDOOMED.

I think everyone who says it's fine to cook veggie stuff and meat together is just bring a dick really.

Lots of vegetarians find the idea of meat unpalatable. Is that really so hard to understand?

I would imagine not and you just enjoy being provocative to the detriment of others.

For no apparent fucking reason.

You really can't see how marinading tofu in the same marinade as you used for pork gets pork meat juice onto the tofu? Vegans and vegetarians don't want to eat meat or meat products!

As far as I'm concerned, there's a family meal provided. If you don't want to eat it, you sort your own and I am happy to help you with the logistics of that. I don't agree with passing the workload of your choice onto someone else.

I just don't get the thinking behind this type of viewpoint, sorry.
Maybe it's because I've been with veggie DH/recently turned vegan for over 20 years, but surely it really isn't that hard to accommodate non meat eaters?
I'm not veggie,me and the kids eat meat but it seriously isn't hard to have a mix -

• some days adapt meals so that everyone can eat them

-some days your dd can cook her own when you really need your meat fix

• maybe get her in the habit of batch cooking some veggie dishes at the weekend too and freezing them so there's always a veggie dinner ready to pull out on your Meat Days

cady

I dont get it either

Ive no idea how my dad managed not to cook my food in meat juice ..but he did

I will make sure i thank him at the weekend

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. I decided at a very young age (about 14) that I did not want to eat meat for ethical reasons. My DM thought it was just a phase I was going through, and humoured me. It's been a rather long 'phase' at just under 40 years!

I honestly don't blame your DD for not wanting to eat something made half veggie/half meat! You don't have to go cooking separate meals for her, just adapt what you're cooking

Imagine I marinated some pork. Then later decided since I also needed to marinate some tofu, so I would just put that into the same marinade in the dish. Tell me how I'm adding to meat consumption in this scenario, and how it's unethical? The amount of meat stays the same. The pork eaters eat the pork, the tofu eaters eat the tofu

Whaaaa? How? How can you not see that that's not going to be acceptable for veggies?
You send pork for a swim in some sauce, take it out and then put tofu in to have a bath in it too?! It'll have meat juices all over it!!
(said by a meat eater and not a pesky veggie lol)

rufus your Dad sounds cool and normal lol

There is no way anyone under 90 wouldn't realise that a vegetarian would not be able to stomach eating food cooked in a sauce in the same pan as meat. To serve that up is to be deliberately confrontational. Good luck with your future relationship with your daughter OP.

I’m a veggie and wouldn’t eat what you’ve described. I have to use separate utensils and pans from the rest of my meat eater family. It is not a problem at all to just cook the pasta say then separate a portion to cook differently.

in your example jackiethelad what If i had been marinating some form of meat you didn’t want to eat, eg a nice slice of dog? I then added your pork to the same marinade and served it to you, covered in lovely dog juices. Would you still want to eat it?

Of course YABU!

Haven't rtft but YABU.
Surely you intend on encouraging/ensuring dd2 has a balanced nutritional diet as well as dd1. She needs iron in her diet too and there are plenty of ways to ensure they get that without meat. It's not ideal for any of you to consume meat every day.
Though I would certainly be asking your dd2 to come up with recipes for her/you all to try, I wouldn't be expecting her to cook for herself every night because she doesn't want it cooked with meat.

in your example jackiethelad what If i had been marinating some form of meat you didn’t want to eat, eg a nice slice of dog?

I'm vegan Charlie, my example already applies to me. I wouldn't cook for myself this way, but if somebody was to cook that for me unknowingly I would eat it, for the reasons I stated.

a nice slice of dog? I also wouldn't have any more of a problem with eating dog meat than I would eating any other meat, for the record, assuming they were sourced through equally ethical methods.

Oh op! Of course this is wrong!

@jackiethelad in that case, if someone cooked you a meat dish, unaware that you were vegan then presumably you'd eat that too?

Vegans don't eat meat or animal products. If you're prepared to eat food that has been mixed with meat juices then that's not being vegan!

Your poor DD. I’ll be honest I haven’t RTFT but I wanted to say I was vegetarian from the age of 10. My family fully respected that - they all ate meat but I think as a family we adapted our diet quite a bit to accommodate my vegetarianism. So we would start eating a lot of veg curries etc

It’s not acceptable to cook vegetarian food amongst or with meat in the same pan. My mother didn’t even fry my veg samosas let’s say amongst the meat samosas.

I think you’re being cruel. It may have been said before but perhaps it’s time to get a veg cookbook and learn some dishes between you both that you’re both able to cook for the family?

if somebody was to cook that for me unknowingly I would eat it, for the reasons I stated.

What do you mean by “unknowingly”? If it’s a friend, they would know you’re vegan. If it’s a restaurant, you wouldn’t choose a non-vegan dish. And if in some strange scenario a total stranger cooked you something, not knowing you’re vegan, and you chose not to check it was ok for you to eat, you’re clearly not a vegan.

I think I'd eat veggie as a family, say 4 nights a week, and the other 3, she can help prep her portion (and therefore can be in charge of what pans and utensils are used and what touches the meat.)

Yabu, she’s choosing a healthier lifestyle and i’d Get on board with that and take the opportunity to cooked veggie meals for everyone now and again.

YABU
Respect her wishes, and give her a range of veggie food.
She will either stay veggie or go back of her own choice.
My brother went veggie at same age and still is. Just adjust so cook bolognese sauce then put a portion to one side for her then cook the meat with it. Make things like chickpea and spinach curry then freeze it in portions. Get her to help you prepare food. At her age I was cooking for my younger siblings as as a result I rarely eat meat as I had to adjust to my brothers decision. Not just a load of old lentils by rose Elliot was my bible at that time! Good luck xx

Tell me how I'm adding to meat consumption in this scenario

You and everyone who think its about how the animal is dead why not eat part of it is missing the point. Just one mouthful alone would make me ill. It will taste of meat.

Ds was served meat ravioli at school dinners (they knew he was vegetarian, they had the photos of the vegetarians on a board just inside the serving hatch.) They would frequently give the vegetarian food away to the meat eaters so the vegetarians were left with mashed potatoes and veg. I think dinner ladies thought it wouldn't matter as a one off.
One day they gave all the vegetarians the meat ravioli.

Ds said he swallowed then projectile vomited across the room. Another vegetarian did the same 3rd hadn't been given anything at that time.

Never was given meat again the clean up was too much.

It’s not always healthier - to do need to do your homework. I was lucky that when I went veggie I was at school so was having domestic science lessons and learning about nutrition. Mum and grandma were brilliant cooks so I already liked to experiment.

I bought a veggie cookbook, a sister gave me one and I worked my way through them.

This was back in the cheese salad days (just about all on offer if you ate out and you couldn’t save sure if the cheese anyway!)

YABU

I'm a veggie and would never eat something that had been cooked next to the meat. No way.

Maybe you should talk to your daughter and educate yourself about the suffering involved in the meat industry.

Tell her to stop being an ungrateful brat. You tried to taking into account her silly fad and wasted your hard earned money on her veggie “meat”. If she is going to that fanatical about it she should cook for herself.