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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder how I was supposed to use this toilet?

387 replies

sleepingdragons · 29/05/2018 23:42

DD and I got drenched in the rain today, proper torrential rain! DD's skirt was soaked through.

We were on our way to meet family for lunch, so we headed there and I took DD to the toilet.

DD was freezing. My plan had been to strip her bottom half to her pants in the ladies and hold her skirt under the hand dryer for as long as I could.

But when I got to the toilet I found it was unisex. There were a bunch of cubicles coming off a busy communal sink area, with a couple of middle aged men in there when I got there, and more men coming and going while we were there.

What would you do in this situation? What do you think I should have done?

Also - AIBU to think that restaurants and cafes are going to use the new trend for unisex facilities as a cost cutting measure, so we're going to see loads more of this kind of thing?

OP posts:
Original poster
sleepingdragons · 30/05/2018 00:28

it would be less full of paedophiles though I think is the logic

Well, yes, partly - but that's not the whole story by a long shot.

Most women feel more comfortable doing certain things in front of strange women that strange men. Getting changed is one of them.

What if I was the one with the wardrobe malfunction?! I wouldn't take my jeans off to dry them!! But I can think of other reasons I might want privacy from men in the ladies.

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 30/05/2018 00:29

What sort of weird place has two restaurants and a Waitrose but nothing else?

zzzzz · 30/05/2018 00:30

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Butterflykissess · 30/05/2018 00:31

Who in there right mind would take their trousers of in public and dry them under a hand dryer anyway?! Unisex toilet or not.Confused

siwel123 · 30/05/2018 00:31

So you would walk around a loo drying clothes? Not really.

I find it a bit daft that the whole oh men are dangerous so we can't share a sink thing

SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2018 00:32

So what did you do OP?

Notso · 30/05/2018 00:32

I don't think a five year old being seen in pants and a top is a massive issue tbh.

zzzzz · 30/05/2018 00:33

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SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2018 00:33

I took my top off to dry it but I was drunk... I had a solid bra on though

Original poster
sleepingdragons · 30/05/2018 00:33

Head for the feminist board if you want mass hysteria about how awful it is.

I'm not wanting to chat about how awful it is and I'm well aware this kind of thing is a topic on the feminist board - although there are some really insightful posters there IMO.

But I'm not after political debate. I'm interested, in practical terms, how people would deal with it.

Even if everyone disagrees with me, it's interesting that the response to losing our privacy seems to be that I should go home.

I'm also well aware that AIBU is a fight club (especially at night!) and people mostly just want to argue. If I was after everyone agreeing with me I'd hardly be here either.

I've been here over a decade, I'm well acquainted with how it works here, thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
sleepingdragons · 30/05/2018 00:34

I took my top off to dry it but I was drunk... I had a solid bra on though

Sounds like my student days Grin

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2018 00:35

She's 5, you could have made it not a big deal or took it off at the table, left her sitting with a cardi over her foot warmth and dried it. She could have stood beside you and be perfectly safe.

There's surely now risk of a paedophile at the swimming baths or beach than in communal loos in a restaurant hoping some kid would come in soaked buy the rain

starzig · 30/05/2018 00:36

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Notso · 30/05/2018 00:37

Most women feel more comfortable doing certain things in front of strange women that strange men. Getting changed is one of them.

Your not talking about changing rooms though your talking about hand washing areas. In any case I still shudder at the horror of communal female changing rooms in Miss Selfrige and Topshop I was never comfortable with that.

Original poster
sleepingdragons · 30/05/2018 00:37

I promise 100% this is true. It happened today, in London. It was fucking torrential.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2018 00:39

So what did you do op?

Brandnewshit · 30/05/2018 00:39

So, what did you do?

zzzzz · 30/05/2018 00:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lostpigeon · 30/05/2018 00:41

yeah what did you do?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 30/05/2018 00:42

So despite the weather warnings in place you went unprepared to possibly the only place in London with a Waitress and 2 restaurants and nothing else for miles?

zzzzz · 30/05/2018 00:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 30/05/2018 00:43

Waitrose bloody auto correct although there was probably a waitress as well.

zzzzz · 30/05/2018 00:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pikachuneedshelp · 30/05/2018 00:47

the drying took ages and the toilets were busy. We would have caused a massive queue if we'd done that

If it was that busy, how can you monopolise a hand dryer for such a long time? Were people having to leave with wet hands? Or form a massive queue if there happened to be another one?

But, anyway, this quote does seem to suggest that you did use the dryer to dry the skirt?

Notso · 30/05/2018 00:47

On the few occasions I've needed to dry kids clothes under a hand dryer I've had another adult with me and the child has stayed outside the toilets with them minus top/trousers while I dried the clothes.
So based on past experience I'd have had my child next to me in pants and a top, if I had a cardigan/scarf I'd have put that round if they were cold.