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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder how I was supposed to use this toilet?

387 replies

sleepingdragons · 29/05/2018 23:42

DD and I got drenched in the rain today, proper torrential rain! DD's skirt was soaked through.

We were on our way to meet family for lunch, so we headed there and I took DD to the toilet.

DD was freezing. My plan had been to strip her bottom half to her pants in the ladies and hold her skirt under the hand dryer for as long as I could.

But when I got to the toilet I found it was unisex. There were a bunch of cubicles coming off a busy communal sink area, with a couple of middle aged men in there when I got there, and more men coming and going while we were there.

What would you do in this situation? What do you think I should have done?

Also - AIBU to think that restaurants and cafes are going to use the new trend for unisex facilities as a cost cutting measure, so we're going to see loads more of this kind of thing?

OP posts:
amy85 · 29/05/2018 23:45

Sent daughter into a cubicle to take skirt off... daughter stay in cubicle as you dry her skirt under hand-dryer

Surely that was the plan anyway...not sure what the issue is

VogueVVague · 29/05/2018 23:46

Wow, so many threads about little girls and public toilets this evening

lhastingsmua · 29/05/2018 23:47

In your situation could wait inside a cubicle by herself whilst you’re outside?

Or buy more weather appropriate clothing/umbrellas to avoid this, or a change of clothes if you think she really may get soaked?

Or go to a different bathroom? Assuming that there were other places nearby?

It’s a weird one tbh, i don’t think i’d have her just out with an unclothed bottom half in a ladies only bathroom regardless tbh

lhastingsmua · 29/05/2018 23:47

If she’s soaked she’s soaked, either go home or just carry on as planned

ShatnersBassoon · 29/05/2018 23:49

As above, she waits in a cubicle while you dry it.

Pinkprincess1978 · 29/05/2018 23:49

Why should toilets be assumed to be changing rooms/laundry? You were provided with a place to go to the toilet and wash your hands. That's all they were required to provide.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 29/05/2018 23:50

Doesn't seem to be an issue with the toilet. You seem to have had an issue doing laundry in public

ShatnersBassoon · 29/05/2018 23:52

And yes, this place (restaurant?) has no obligation to provide changing rooms. Your situation is very unlikely to happen, so a business doesn't need to plan and cater for it.

RafikiIsTheBest · 29/05/2018 23:53

What if the hand dryer was rubbish, broken or if they only had paper towels instead?

If she's too young to stand in a cubical holding the door closed for a few minutes then she's young enough to need a change of clothes.
Sounds like it was too busy to take up using a hand dryer for long enough to make a difference anyway.

arethereanyleftatall · 29/05/2018 23:56

I would have done any of the following:

  1. Not done anything.
  2. Got family to bring spare clothes
  3. Bought new
  4. Dried skirt while she waited in cubicle

Like others have said, a restaurant doesn't have to provide a changing room.

Original poster
sleepingdragons · 29/05/2018 23:57

daughter stay in cubicle as you dry her skirt under hand-dryer

No way - the drying took ages and the toilets were busy. We would have caused a massive queue if we'd done that.

Also, DD is only 5, I wouldn't trust her not to touch bits of the toilet she shouldn't (e.g. fiddle with sanitary bin etc) if I left her in there for ages.

And she wouldn't be happy there on her own for ages anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
sleepingdragons · 29/05/2018 23:58

VogueVVague what's that supposed to mean? Advance search me if you think I'm a troll FFS.

OP posts:
pastabest · 30/05/2018 00:00

What would you have done if there was no hand drier (increasingly common for there not to be)?

There is potentially an issue with the increasing prevalence of shared facilities but I don't think this is it.

This is more of a 'should have found shelter when it started raining' issue. Presumably you aren't waterproof and therefore were soaked too?

Reaa · 30/05/2018 00:02

.

Notso · 30/05/2018 00:03

I don't see a problem at all. You could with have left her in the cubicle or kept her with you if she was too little for that.

Pardalis · 30/05/2018 00:03

So, what facilities would you have liked the toilet to have? Above and beyond somewhere to go to the loo and wash your hands?
I get that it was a bit annoying but toilets can't be expected to have drying facilities for people caught in rain. So, yes - YABU

sweeneytoddsrazor · 30/05/2018 00:03

You are supposed to use the toilet for well, going to the toilet. The hand dryer is for drying hands not clothes. The weather forecast has been pretty clear about the amount of rain over the last couple of days, why not take a spare set of clothes.

lhastingsmua · 30/05/2018 00:03

Going home is always an option. Why didn’t you dress her appropriately or find adequate shelter?

Such a weird situation that I don’t think many can relate tbh

lhastingsmua · 30/05/2018 00:05

Also you’d be contributing to the queue regardless by messing with the hand dryer for so long

ShatnersBassoon · 30/05/2018 00:05

No public toilet facilities are going to get someone drenched to the skin back into a fit state.

The unisex toilet is a red herring. You needed another solution really.

BackforGood · 30/05/2018 00:08

Well, this isn't a changing room. If ever I've tried to dry any clothing under a drier, I've done it whilst still wearing the garment.

I really can't see how there is any issue here about it being a unisex toilet. It's odd to start getting your dc to strip off in a public toilet at all, IMO.

SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2018 00:09

If my 5 yo was that wet I'd have bought something cheap and cheerful from a shop and changed her completely. I wouldn't have spent 10 minutes drying it whilst she stood there in the ladies loo in her knickers. She liable to get bored and sit on the floor, yuk!!!!!
If out wasn't too far we'd have just carried on.

It wouldn't occur to me that the men coming and going would be paedophiles hoping for a look.

Original poster
sleepingdragons · 30/05/2018 00:09

Why should toilets be assumed to be changing rooms/laundry?

Well, I don't think they are.

If I'd got there and found no hand dryer, I wouldn't have been annoyed with the cafe, they don't have to provide one.

But sometimes we have emergencies of one kind and another (e.g. warddrobe malfunctions! Underwire bras with wires sticking out, I'm looking at you!!) and I've got used to public toilets being a place that don't have men strolling around in them.

We all use the ladies for reasons other than toilets every so often, don't we? e.g. retouching make up for a start.

My question is more of a general one about privacy - I know how to use a single sex facility, and some of what I do in there I don't want to do in front of men.

If unisex facilities become more common, what do we do if have some kind of emergency?

The most practical suggestion here seems to be to always use cubicles for privacy - but isn't that a pain for everyone else who has to wait longer for the toilet?

OP posts:
Butterflykissess · 30/05/2018 00:09

I'm confused! I would have just bought her some cheap clothes or went home . I don't like unisex toilets but that's a different matter imo.

Original poster
sleepingdragons · 30/05/2018 00:12

If my 5 yo was that wet I'd have bought something cheap and cheerful from a shop and changed her completely.

How do you suggest I did that in an area with no shops, where we were caught in the middle of an unexpectedly bad storm and had to get out of the rain as fast as we could?

All that was near us was 2 restaurants and Waitrose, no handy clothes shops by the restaurant.

OP posts:
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