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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder how I was supposed to use this toilet?

387 replies

sleepingdragons · 29/05/2018 23:42

DD and I got drenched in the rain today, proper torrential rain! DD's skirt was soaked through.

We were on our way to meet family for lunch, so we headed there and I took DD to the toilet.

DD was freezing. My plan had been to strip her bottom half to her pants in the ladies and hold her skirt under the hand dryer for as long as I could.

But when I got to the toilet I found it was unisex. There were a bunch of cubicles coming off a busy communal sink area, with a couple of middle aged men in there when I got there, and more men coming and going while we were there.

What would you do in this situation? What do you think I should have done?

Also - AIBU to think that restaurants and cafes are going to use the new trend for unisex facilities as a cost cutting measure, so we're going to see loads more of this kind of thing?

OP posts:
Butterflykissess · 30/05/2018 00:14

Then you go straight home.

Original poster
sleepingdragons · 30/05/2018 00:14

I would have just bought her some cheap clothes or went home

Nowhere to buy clothes, home 60 miles away. Came for a special occasion to visit family.

Could have gone to relatives house, but that would have meant going back out in the rain when we'd just got there, getting more wet and miserable and missing the occasion completely.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2018 00:14

If unisex facilities become more common, what do we do if have some kind of emergency?
Like what?

SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2018 00:15

Why didn't you stand her under the hand dryer holding her skirt up?

Notso · 30/05/2018 00:15

You just seem to be creating problems where there are none.

lostpigeon · 30/05/2018 00:16

1st world problems wow

Original poster
sleepingdragons · 30/05/2018 00:16

So, the answer to lack of privacy in the toilet is for DD and I to go home?

That's a bit crap isn't it?

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2018 00:18

So what did you do?

Loonoon · 30/05/2018 00:18

YABU. You cannot expect restaurants /cafes/ galleries or any public space where you will only be expected to spend 2/4/6 hours to provide full changing facilities. It this had happened to me I would have wrapped my coat/jacket/blouse/jumper or whatever round DC and dried her clothes under the hand dryer.

Or (as I did when DDs were v. small and got unexpectedly soaked at a theme park,) we bought them cheap oversized men's t shirts at the gift store and they wore them like floor length togas for the rest of the day. They were under 8 then and are in their 20s now and still have them and wear them as nighties, a reminder of a very happy and relaxed day out.

Notso · 30/05/2018 00:19

You wouldn't have privacy in a female toilet either unless you stayed in the cubicle though.

tolerable · 30/05/2018 00:19

how old is dd?

BackforGood · 30/05/2018 00:19

We all use the ladies for reasons other than toilets every so often, don't we?

Er, not that I can think of - it is rarely a place to loiter in. The only time I can imagine going to the ladies toilet and not needing to use the toilet, is if I went in specifically just to wash my hands, and I could do that in a unisex environment.

Butterflykissess · 30/05/2018 00:20

Look I don't like unisex toilets I've a lready stated thatt. But I wouldn't keep my daughter out in soaking wet clothes just to go to a meal. I would have found another shop or went home.

Original poster
sleepingdragons · 30/05/2018 00:21

You cannot expect restaurants /cafes/ galleries or any public space where you will only be expected to spend 2/4/6 hours to provide full changing facilities.

Where did I say I wanted changing facilities?

I didn't.

To be clear - what I expected was the privacy from men that I'm used to in the ladies. I was surprised and unaccustomed to being in a toilet with men there also.

Wouldn't you find it a bit odd to be in the sink area of a toilet and have a bunch of men going in and out?

Some of them seemed pretty uncomfortable with it IMO.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2018 00:22

You wouldn't have privacy in a female toilet either unless you stayed in the cubicle though it would be less full of paedophiles though I think is the logic

SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2018 00:22

So what did you do Op?

Original poster
sleepingdragons · 30/05/2018 00:22

we bought them cheap oversized men's t shirts at the gift store

There was no gift store. No clothes shops. Only restaurants and Waitrose.

OP posts:
starzig · 30/05/2018 00:22

How young is DD, how self conscious and did she have tights. As an adult I would strip as far as my tights then try and dry my skirt.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 30/05/2018 00:23

What are all these emergencies that require single sex toilets?

OldHag1 · 30/05/2018 00:24

Men will soon get pissed off (pun intended) queuing for a toilet when there are no urinals.

I’d have bought a cheap outfit for her to wear to be honest using those dries to even dry a pair of toddlers wet knickers takes a lifetime.

siwel123 · 30/05/2018 00:24

You have privacy!
The cubicle has a door you can lock. Therefore you have privacy.

You have to wash your hands in the same area Shock. It's not like anything personal goes on at the sink that you would do in front of women but not men.

Problem with bra? Fix in cubicle.

starzig · 30/05/2018 00:24

Another option would be to nip to a nearby shop and buy a change of clothes. Doesn't have to be anything posh, just something dry

SleepingStandingUp · 30/05/2018 00:26

See if Waitrose was as good as Tesco, they'd sell clothes

zzzzz · 30/05/2018 00:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

starzig · 30/05/2018 00:27

Head for the feminist board if you want mass hysteria about how awful it is.