GP-in-law funeral Vs sports day

[RatOnnaStick]

We've decided DH will do the funeral, (his Grandparent), and I will do sports day. It's the first for DS2.

Perfectly reasonable split, we think, but family member organising the funeral is unimpressed.

AIBU to prioritise living children over dead grandad-in-law?

My children went to my Grandmothers funeral and my DH's Grandfathers funeral also, they needed to say goodbye to the person who was part of their life and not just have them disappear.

I agree with you OP, my DH didn't attend my GPs funeral as he was working, DC1 went to nursery and DC2 came with me as was only a few months old and there's wasn't anyone to watch him.

Not all family's magically merge when people get married either.

Go to the funeral. Your DH might have said it's ok for you not to go, but I imagine he would really want the support. I know I would of one of my grandparents just died.

Sports days are nothing. I went to my fair share of them at school and couldn't care less if my parents were there to watch me or not. Children need to learn that they can't get everything that they want.

@Rousette. Not a joke, and i have lost many close friends and family members. I've been to one funeral in my life (my grandad who raised me) and it totally traumatised me, i decided there and then i was never going to one again. I can remember and honour the people I love in many ways that don't involve funerals.

Only baby dc came to my Gran's funeral with me, older 3 went to school & the toddler stayed with a friend. They did know her but weren't close & it was 1.5 hour drive away. Dh did come as offered to drive (because I can't) my Aunt & Uncle as they'd only stepped off a plane from holiday about 4 hours before, if they'd been driving he wouldn't have come. I didn't go to DH Gran's funeral, I asked if he wanted me too & he said no.

They all came to my Dad's funeral earlier this year as he was a huge part of their lives. At the time baby, dc1 didn't come to MILs funeral but she did come to the Wake.

Not all family's magically merge when people get married either.

Well said. Its incredible to see this bosom-hoicking about the OP recognising it's her DH's loss, not hers.

My last grandparent died the year before I married DH. He asked if he should come and I said absolutely not. I felt it was for family and friends of the deceased only, not family and friends of every grandchild.

If he had tried to insist on coming when I'd told him not to, I wouldn't have called that 'support', I'd have called it 'muscling in' on another family's grief.

OriginalEmu your choice of course and who am I to argue against that... I hate funerals, loathe them ... everyone does but the older I've got (and I'm old ) they do become more cathartic and not so traumatising. I know I would've regretted not going to my parents funerals, a sibling who died, a close friend who died prematurely. It would have weighed on my mind not to be there and it was almost like a way of saying goodbye and I felt I owed it not just to them... but to myself too.

Everyone is different though.

Not sure why so many are arguing for or against dc attending funerals. That wasn't the question - the point here is that the OP, an adult, and wife of the deceased's grandson, wanted affirmation that it was fine for her to miss the funeral to go to her dc's sports day.