AIBU Furious SIL asked me to leave BBQ because of impetigo

[ohheytheregentleelephant]

I am so embarrassed and angry. Bank holiday weekend bbq is big deal in my family every year - we all make different dishes to take, there's bouncy castle and games and a cocktail bar.

I've got impetigo. I told DM and DF this - it's their bbq - and they didn't seem bothered so I made the dishes I'd been asked to make and turned up for the bbq today.

SIL went mad when she realised I have impetigo and wouldn't let them put the dishes I made out and basically caused a scene in front of my parents and dbro and my dp insisting that I leave. Luckily before all the other guests arrived or that would have been even more embarrassing. She wasn't shouting or anything but she made me feel like a right idiot.

In the end I did leave - with the food I had spent ages making! What a waste. And had to miss out on the day that I'd been looking forward to for ages. It's not even that contagious!

I like how the OP mentioned the bouncy castle and games. I wonder if she was looking forward to using/participating it both

Why all this fuss on here If the NHS and Kids Health guidelines are that if kids are allowed to go to school with their sores covered and they aren't even infectious within 24 hours of taking antibiotics?

Complete hysteria.

I do think the soil was out of order as she was not hosting the bab. Surely it is up to the host and hostess to decide who does, or does not attend.

Surely it is up to the host and hostess to decide who does, or does not attend

Then the host should have informed all of the other guests prior to arrival so they could make a choice as to whether or not they wanted to attend and risk catching it.
I wouldn’t, after seeing how ill and miserable my DD was when she had it.

I caught impetigo from my Dad several times, because he didn't think it was infectious either!

It really is extremely infectious, so I completely understand your SiL's reaction. I wouldn't have gone there with an active infection requiring antibiotics. It wasn't up to the PiL, as not everyone understands infections. It was up to you to take more care unfortunately.

Hope it clears up quickly.

Why all this fuss on here If the NHS and Kids Health guidelines are that if kids are allowed to go to school with their sores covered and they aren't even infectious within 24 hours of taking antibiotics?

Hmm yes, because it doesn't rampage through a class like nobody's business does it ..?

As an aside, one of the reasons it's infectious is possibly because it's not treated properly.

My niece had it for years and was given fusidic cream. Had it while we were in France and the doctor gave her fusidic cream and another cream (possibly antibiotic) to get rid of the infection so it didn't reoccur.

I hope it clears up quickly for you OP. As much as your SIL may have good reason to ask you to leave, there's ways and means to do that and belittling someone isn't on.

I wouldn’t have gone with impetigo but SIL wasn’t very nice about it. A quiet word in private should have been enough. I agree about the food. I wouldn’t want to eat something prepared by someone with impetigo. It’s incredibly infectious and bloody unpleasant.

OP said SIL
"caused a scene in front of my parents and dbro and my dp insisting that I leave. Luckily before all the other guests arrived or that would have been even more embarrassing. She wasn't shouting or anything but she made me feel like a right idiot."

It sounds as if SIL was just insistent, she didn't shout. Also only parents, brother and OP's partner were present at the time. Considering the circumstances I think her reaction sounded appropriate. As others have said impetigo is very infectious. Even after the infection is being treated with antibiotics the crusty skin flakes can cause food poisoning or pass on impetigo or scarlet fever.

Did you not check? Surely your GP told you not to go out to crowded places or prepare food for others to eat. Is it possible you ignored the warning because you wanted to go to the BBQ? Perhaps SIL did the right thing.

Grim..... potatoigo salad....boak

I'm sorry she embarrassed you but I wouldn't want to be around with it.
Dd still has scars on her face from when she caught it from a child at school

Sorry, YABU. Highly infectious.

It is very infectious. You should have stayed home with it, and not even asked if you could go. It's embarrassing for you and I don't think it sounds like she handled it as tactfully as she could but you were right to go home. I hope it clears up for you soon :-(

Probably get told I am being ott but this thread made me feel sick - can't get the thought of yellow crusty bits of skin dropping into potato salad you made.

Now all summer I'll probably just eat a packet of crisps at all bbqs etc. Thanks.

Yabu and grim.

Impetigo is highly infectious so I would t have wanted you there either . Sorry

I have had it frequently mainly because the GPs I'd seen didn't realise adults get it. Anyway I managed to make two colleagues from France ill before I was told exact what it was and that it was contagious. Years later I was then told I was immunocompromised and had been since birth, which is why I get it. Last time I had it I also had tonsillitis so was given oral antibiotics I haven't had it since.

Some people have thought I'm over reacting when I get it and isolate myself, but after making 2 healthy adults sick I don't take chances.

I think your SIL freaked out knowing how ill it can make people particularly young children and those with defective immune systems.

OP YABVU.

Impetigo is highly contagious! How can you not know this?

You told her in advance and she should have said 'No' then. You should really have Googled or gone on the NHS website, then you wouldn't have dreamed of going, saving all the upset on the day.

Everyone is piling in to be rude to the OP. How typical. She doesn’t have the Ebola virus.

The SIL was rude and so are the majority here.

@RoseWhiteTips you are lucky you have a healthy immune system not everyone does.

RoseWhiteTips as I have said above, impetigo made my DD really quite poorly when she was a baby.

Yabu and selfish

That is not the point. The point is some of you are calling the OP an idiot and so on. You can say she was being unreasonable without resorting to insults.

HTH

I once worked with a woman who insisted on coming into work covered in shingles.
Very nasty and can be passed on to anyone who hasn't had chicken pox .
Selfish in the extreme.
Anything contagious....even a bad cold and you should STAY AWAY.