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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU Furious SIL asked me to leave BBQ because of impetigo

300 replies

ohheytheregentleelephant · 27/05/2018 18:56

I am so embarrassed and angry. Bank holiday weekend bbq is big deal in my family every year - we all make different dishes to take, there's bouncy castle and games and a cocktail bar.

I've got impetigo. I told DM and DF this - it's their bbq - and they didn't seem bothered so I made the dishes I'd been asked to make and turned up for the bbq today.

SIL went mad when she realised I have impetigo and wouldn't let them put the dishes I made out and basically caused a scene in front of my parents and dbro and my dp insisting that I leave. Luckily before all the other guests arrived or that would have been even more embarrassing. She wasn't shouting or anything but she made me feel like a right idiot.

In the end I did leave - with the food I had spent ages making! What a waste. And had to miss out on the day that I'd been looking forward to for ages. It's not even that contagious!

OP posts:

BabbittyRabbittyCacklingStump · 28/05/2018 22:41

YABU. My son caught impetigo last year, he already suffered with terrible eczema & ended up in hospital for four days on an antibiotic drip. All because someone, like you, thought it would be fine to be around others whilst infected. So again, YABU. Please stay away from members of the public until yours has cleared up.

cheval · 28/05/2018 22:50

Blimey. Put a Bell round your neck and chant unclean. I’d have taken my chances with you. I was diagnosed a long time ago, wrongly, with empitigo. Turned out to be an old-fashioned boil.

manicmij · 28/05/2018 23:18

It is contagious and can be horrendous for children. Surely you were told when diagnosed about contact with others. You must have caught it from someone but lucky for you seem to be lightly affected.A bit if comm9n sense really, don't mix with others especially when it's hot and likely to be a lot of bare skin about.

Chattymummyhere · 28/05/2018 23:35

I was mad enough that sil took her baby with knowing explosive bottom to mils for a chit chat knowing dam well me and the children where calling in. Guess what my youngest ended up exploding for two days solid 24hours after being near her child but of course it wasn’t caught from her darling child

Im going to be on high alert for any infections she decides to bring around it’s just selfish to knowingly go to places where there are going to be others for your own pleasure with something infectious.

Armchairanarchist · 29/05/2018 00:45

My immune system is screwed and I'm seriously ill. What you consider trivial really isn't. Your sister was rude but I'd echo her sentiments.

fancynotplain · 29/05/2018 00:50

My daughter woke with a swollen face. GP sent her straight to hospital where she had IV antibiotics and kept under observation in separate room following extra hygiene measure for contagious disease. It was impetigo infection via an insect bite and the danger was the infection could spread through eye to brain ending in meningitis danger. I was also bitten on ankle and developed huge, weeping sore but normal antibiotics sorted me out. I had never heard of impetigo- apart from some Victorian disease affecting slum dwellers.

Abbylee · 29/05/2018 04:25

Our dd (then toddler) got the Rota Virus from shopping cart. It is a vile diarrhea with neon green poop. She was one vomit from the hospital.

This seems to be a weak spot with dh's family; he did end up in hospital and he also lost an aunt and uncle in same/similar childhood disease, all toddlers.
Our ds did not catch it from her, nor did my dns whom my mother brought with her to babysit ds as we thought we were headed to hospital
My point is that we all have different susceptibility to things. Err on side of cautious kindness. I am sorry that you are ill OP, and that you missed the party.

OldMummy75 · 29/05/2018 08:26

I've had impetigo aged 18 while working as a summer camp counselor. It spread like wildfire on my eczema-prone skin; gentle scratching of clothing was enough to spread it all over my legs. The GP said that he was happy for me to be back at work 36-48 hours after I started my antibiotics (once it stopped "leaking" IYSWIM) BUT I was strictly forbidden to touch anybody else's food.

They were perfectly right to not serve your food. As for asking you to leave I think they should have discussed it earlier really! Did you see a GP? What did they say? Are you on medication (Most people do not need antibiotics I was told...)? And where on your body is it? For example, nobody would touch your calf if you wear long trousers and make sure you disinfect your hands before getting there... Then again, if someone is not well, very young/old or pregnant, it changes things a bit...

I would have more of a problem with how it was handled tbh.

Lucisky · 29/05/2018 08:37

I had eczema as a child and ended up with impetigo as well. A few weeks later I developed nephritis, in other words my kidneys essentially packed up. I was in hospital for ages and was very lucky to make a full recovery and not have to have dialysis or a kidney transplant. Nephritis is a rare side effect of impetigo, and is an auto-immune disorder.

Liketoshop · 29/05/2018 13:23

Impetigo untreated is exceptionally infectious but very treatable by GP, not A&E please!! I wouldn't go near you untreated I'm afraid.

SalemBlackCat · 29/05/2018 16:47

Kittymamma
"Where the OP pretends to be the person they feel was the unreasonable party."

I don't understand. What do you mean? That the OP is pretending that it happen when it didn't? Or that the OP is pretending to be someone else? Sorry, but I too don't know what Reverse Thread means, and know I am even more confused after what you said as I cannot understand what you're saying.

Nesssie · 29/05/2018 16:55

SalemBlackCat - So a reverse would be if the OP was actually the SIL in the scenario, and was looking for reassurance that chucking the lady out was the right thing to do.

SalemBlackCat · 29/05/2018 17:00

Nessie aha! Now I understand. Thanks.

MissVanjie · 29/05/2018 17:02

So patient zero never came back then huh

kittymamma · 29/05/2018 17:21

SalemBlackCat - I don't understand. What do you mean? That the OP is pretending that it happen when it didn't? Or that the OP is pretending to be someone else? Sorry, but I too don't know what Reverse Thread means, and know I am even more confused after what you said as I cannot understand what you're saying.

And here I was thinking my explanation was very good... perhaps not...

MiddleClassProblem · 29/05/2018 17:32

A reverse is when someone posts from the other perspective.

So say my DB stole my chocolate bar and ate it and I want to feel like people were on my side I would go and post saying “I stole my sisters choc and ate it, AIBU?” And everyone would say YABU and I would be all like “thank you, it’s a reverse, DB is a dick”.

So in this case it would be SIL posting pretending to be the one with impetigo.

GoForthSon · 29/05/2018 19:15

I have no idea why your SIL is making so much of a fuss, it saves her buying bacon bits for the potato salad..

😁

PositivelyPERF · 29/05/2018 19:15

😁🤢

Kate0902900908 · 30/05/2018 02:23

Talk about overreacting! I feel so bad for you, your other family should have made it very clear you were staying!
I would never dream of making any of my family leave because of it. At the end of the day your family and an adult who is mature enough to take the correct precautions to stop spreading.
Recently ( can’t believe I’m writing this)
Me and my husband had worms. We had a party at ours planned ( family only) and I made sure to mention it, everyone turned up and no one cares it’s what you do in family’s it’s life!
I would be so angry and I think you deserve an apology!

SalemBlackCat · 30/05/2018 14:13

kittymamma Sorry, I didn't mean any offence by it.

CircleofWillis · 30/05/2018 14:28

Kate, worms are very different to impetigo. Impetigo can be very painful and lead to serious medical conditions especially in the very young, old, sick or immunocompromised. My daughter has scarring from her bout and another child from nursery was hospitalised with scarlet fever (impetigo can turn into / trigger scarlet fever and other illnesses).

For some it is very mild, little more than a rash but even if that is the case why would you give even a mild rash to people you care about?

So did any of your party guests get worms? (BTW if you can't believe you would share the information about worms with anonymous strangers online, I find it hard to believe you told ALL your party guests. Was it closer to the truth that you mentioned it to one good friend who said it makes no difference and you should go ahead?)

MyLearnedFriend · 30/05/2018 14:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ohmydayslove · 30/05/2018 14:50

I read it as vertigo by mistake and was baffled.

Impetigo vile and worms!!! I know why I hate bbqs

MadameEdam · 30/05/2018 15:26

I had a very severe case of impetigo through my scalp once and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. So very contagious, and a nightmare to keep clean. I wouldn't want someone with it around me until it was totally cleared, tbh. It might not be serious as such, but it's an unsightly and uncomfortable horror show!

9amTrain · 30/05/2018 16:14

YABU. It's contagious. That's the only reason you need to stay at home!

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