Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Furious SIL asked me to leave BBQ because of impetigo

300 replies

ohheytheregentleelephant · 27/05/2018 18:56

I am so embarrassed and angry. Bank holiday weekend bbq is big deal in my family every year - we all make different dishes to take, there's bouncy castle and games and a cocktail bar.

I've got impetigo. I told DM and DF this - it's their bbq - and they didn't seem bothered so I made the dishes I'd been asked to make and turned up for the bbq today.

SIL went mad when she realised I have impetigo and wouldn't let them put the dishes I made out and basically caused a scene in front of my parents and dbro and my dp insisting that I leave. Luckily before all the other guests arrived or that would have been even more embarrassing. She wasn't shouting or anything but she made me feel like a right idiot.

In the end I did leave - with the food I had spent ages making! What a waste. And had to miss out on the day that I'd been looking forward to for ages. It's not even that contagious!

OP posts:
Annette69 · 28/05/2018 20:09

My son is a sufferer and he went to school for a week before I realised what it was, I thought it was psoriasis. Not one child got infected and as a family none of us have ever got it from him. That’s just my personal experience with it.

ToriaPumpkin · 28/05/2018 20:13

My friend's perfectly healthy four year old caught it last week. She's the only child in a class of 20 that caught it and nobody is entirely sure where she came into contact with it. It put her in hospital, in isolation, for a week and she had to have surgery on her lymph nodes and IV antibiotics for days.

Not that serious or contagious though, eh?

Don't even get me started on people deliberately spreading chickenpox after my son ended up in hospital with pneumonitis despite every other child in his class and his younger sister being just fine with it.

You can't ever tell who will react badly to one of these "harmless" infections. So why risk it?

Annette69 · 28/05/2018 20:19

TorisPumpkin, it sounds like this was cellulitis, a very rare progression of impetigo.

Butttons · 28/05/2018 20:24

YABVU

Reminds me of the time a sibling with conjunctivitis came along to one of DC's friend's birthday parties last summer (with both parents in tow).....

wildchild554 · 28/05/2018 20:25

Btw having experience with impetigo before and how it spreads etc, and considering it wasn't on your hands I would have been happy to eat the food you prepared and to allow my 5 and 6 year to eat it even though we all have medical issues. At the end of the day as long as you followed proper hand washing etc no problem at all. ;)

definitelynotsupermum · 28/05/2018 20:26

@kittymamma mumsnet is very confusing! I am far too trusting and believe everything I read 😳

Postsynapticdensity · 28/05/2018 20:28

Some of you think the SIL was unreasonable.

How do you know she didn't try a quiet word and OP said "mummy and daddy said it was OK and it's not that contagious" and confronted with the idiocy of this response, SIL lost and yet managed not to shout or anything?

I think she handled it really well. You should be grateful she didn't call you a selfish imbecile, not bitch about her online.

Turnitaroundagain · 28/05/2018 20:36

I had it when I was a kid, caught it at the swimming baths. My mum didn’t really know what it was so still sent me to school. It lasted for about 3 months. Not a single person caught it off me.

userinterface34 · 28/05/2018 21:05

My son had it once when he was a toddler and spread all over his bottom and torso... made him so poorly and you could almost watch it spread. You’re selfish. If I’d have turned up (you’re parents were given a choice the guests were not!) and see you with such an infectious skin condition I’d have left.

whatamistake · 28/05/2018 21:07

Sorry but you are a selfish cow for even considering going. Highly contagious And nasty.

Your sil is absolutely right

Scaramoose · 28/05/2018 21:14

Sorry to be dumb, but why is impetigo especially risky (if that’s the right word) for diabetics? I’m a Type 1 and had no idea!

Dancingtothebeat · 28/05/2018 21:16

My mum didn’t really know what it was so still sent me to school. It lasted for about 3 months. Not a single person caught it off me.

Except you’re ignoring the elephant in the room that one person in this story did catch it...

Suzielou66 · 28/05/2018 21:27

What on earth possessed you to go in the first place? Impetigo is highly contagious. It’s especially nasty for children. Most schools insist that kids who are infected stay at home. I think you should have stayed at home. I would probably have turned you around at the door and sent you home especially if there were children or elderly people there. You were very selfish.

Munchyseeds · 28/05/2018 21:28

My daughter has had it twice....suffers from eczema and gp said that would be how it gets into skin. Treated with cream and ab's, usual hygiene precautions, no one else caught it and gp said fine to go to school
Would not have thought not to go to a family party
Hope it clears up soon

FASH84 · 28/05/2018 21:28

I was on a home visit a few years ago, helping a lady to do a safety plan (abusive ex), she told me the two kids were unwell but upstairs in bed watching a dvd, fine no issue. Some kind of health visitor/nurse arrived, took one look at me and went into action mode, squirting alcohol gel onto my hands simultaneously asking if I'd touched anything, used the bathroom, drank anything (I'd been given a glass of water but hadn't touched it yet) and then told me to leave immediately as the children had impetigo and it was highly highly contagious and if I developed any dry skin, itching or rashes to quarantine myself and call my doctor. So you are definitely being unreasonable and I don't blame your SIL at all.

SinkGirl · 28/05/2018 21:51

If my son contracted impetigo, he’d likely end up in HDU for a week or more. I can’t stop him from contracting things by accident, but if someone I knew deliberately brought something so contagious to an event where he was present, I would be utterly livid and never speak to them again. It’s unpleaant for anyone but for some it’s so much worse. How could you be so selfish? I don’t go to family events if I even have a cold as I don’t want to make the little ones unwell.

Frazzledstar1 · 28/05/2018 22:02

It is very contagious, my son has just had it recently and according to the doctor if you are treating with an antibiotic cream you can go back to school/work etc after 48 hours of using the cream.

Saying that, my son just had it 2 weeks ago and we managed to contain it and not pass it on to myself, dp or 2 dds (age 2 and 4months) so I personally wouldn’t have requested you leave but would have asked you to stay away from any kids at the event and not served the food you prepared. I do tend to veer to the more relaxed side of things though

Elspeth12345 · 28/05/2018 22:04

Yes it's really contagious so I think she did what she needed to prevent herself and others falling ill with it.

I have had and it's not nice so get well soon!

applesandpears56 · 28/05/2018 22:04

You sound like a very selfish person op

Frazzledstar1 · 28/05/2018 22:06

Seems my son must have had a very mild case as lots of people are describing it as nasty and he just had a couple of scabs! So possibly not a good example here...

busybarbara · 28/05/2018 22:20

It didn’t slow Michael Jackson down at all although he did wear gloves and a mask a lot.

LassWiADelicateAir · 28/05/2018 22:21

Some of you think the SIL was unreasonable

How do you know she didn't try a quiet word and OP said "mummy and daddy said it was OK and it's not that contagious" and confronted with the idiocy of this response, SIL lost and yet managed not to shout or anything?

Yes, I'm not inclined to take the OP's word about how the sil reacted.

MiddleClassProblem · 28/05/2018 22:21

busybarbara er... vitiligo. Michael Jackson had vitiligo...

LassWiADelicateAir · 28/05/2018 22:25

Probably get told I am being ott but this thread made me feel sick -

No , not OTT, me too. And my food and domestic hygiene standards are abysmal by MN standards.

DextroDependant · 28/05/2018 22:35

I probably would have myself if I was sil because I hate confrontation.

Swipe left for the next trending thread