AIBU Furious SIL asked me to leave BBQ because of impetigo

[ohheytheregentleelephant]

I am so embarrassed and angry. Bank holiday weekend bbq is big deal in my family every year - we all make different dishes to take, there's bouncy castle and games and a cocktail bar.

I've got impetigo. I told DM and DF this - it's their bbq - and they didn't seem bothered so I made the dishes I'd been asked to make and turned up for the bbq today.

SIL went mad when she realised I have impetigo and wouldn't let them put the dishes I made out and basically caused a scene in front of my parents and dbro and my dp insisting that I leave. Luckily before all the other guests arrived or that would have been even more embarrassing. She wasn't shouting or anything but she made me feel like a right idiot.

In the end I did leave - with the food I had spent ages making! What a waste. And had to miss out on the day that I'd been looking forward to for ages. It's not even that contagious!

You cannot know for sure you weren’t putting anyone at risk. Not all illnesses are acknowledged or believed. My family is a case in point.

It’s very contagious. My DD was really quite poorly when she had it at 13 months (and I was extremely pissed off at my friend who didn’t tell us their DS had it when they invited us round for lunch).
It doesn’t matter really if your parents said they don’t mind, they can’t make that decision for everyone at the BBQ can they? It’s basically saying ‘no we don’t mind if you potentially infect all those other people’.

NHS website says it’s highly contagious and that you should avoid places with children and other adults with low immunity

Op-YABU.

Everybody else- where's the CP thread?!?!

It’s a lame reverse apparently

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3260936-Aibu-to-take-dd-with-chicken-pox-to-party-at-pub-tomo

I had impetigo when i was at primary school and i didnt get back til it had healed it was horrible

Yabu.iv had it as an adult and i stayed at home till it cleared up.
It’s contagious.

I'm not immuno suppressed, and I caught impetigo from a girl in my art class. I think your SIL was right.

Sorry op but it's your responsibility to research your illnesses and choose whether to go or not. As pps have said impetigo is horribly contagious. I have caught it twice as an adult and on one occasion I chose not to go to a party because I didn't want to give it to anyone. The host hadn't heard of it so I gave her some information because I didn't want her to think I was making up an excuse.

Ta muchly @MiddleClassProblem I always see ppl calling reverse but I've not actually read a real one.

My daughter had impetigo and it led to my son having scarlet fever (it's a thing, honestly). He was the most ill I have ever seen him and in the end a good few children in their school came down with one or the other. It's really, really contagious.

I'm not even convinced that the sil overreacted. OP you said she went mad but didn't shout - what did she actually do.

I’d be fucking furious if I was your SIL. She was much nicer than I would have been.

I’m immuno compromised. It’s hard enough trying to keep reasonably healthy without twats like you spreading your preventable diseases around.

I'd have been incandescent with rage if I were your SIL, and would have physically removed you from my premises, never mind been rude.

I had it in high school.
Was sitting at a computer when the teacher came over and sent me to the nurse, who sent me home. They had to completely disinfect the desk where I was sitting.

I wasn't allowed back to school for a week and on the third day had to go in and sit an exam in a side room before being sent home again.

It was awful.

I'd of been fuming if I had turned up to a BBQ where someone was infectious and no one had mentioned it. Utterly selfish.

"It's not even that contagious!"

So you know that it's contagious but still thought that it was ok-even stranger!

So mummy said it was ok?

Grow up

You shouldn't have gone. It's highly contagious. I can't understand why you still think you weren't unreasonable after every single reply has told you that you were.

YABU

My SIL insisted on taking my niece who had impetigo to a family party despite being told how contagious is was. Everyone with kids stayed away because they didn’t want to risk it. It was a really selfish move.

I wouldn’t think twice about bowing out of a family gathering if my DCs or I had something so contagious

I had impetigo when I was a teenager and it was horrible. I think your sil was right too.

I’ve seen a few of these threads where people have asked the hosts who have said it’s fine, but then another guest realises and they are not fine with it. I think, if you’re hosting, you can’t just say it’s fine for someone to come to a party with something contagious. It’s not very fair on the other guests.

Sil was right. Where you arguing when she asked you to leave? I can’t believe a grown woman thought it was ok to prepare food and go to a bbq when she has a highly contagious disease.

Kudos for your sil.

It's v contagious. If anyone has any fissures around the eyes and mouth it's in there like a shot. Normally got rid off with fuciderm cream.

OP, you were wrong to go - I think you already know this because you raised it with your parents first. It is very contagious.

I can see why it would have been embarrassing because although it was your SIL who asked you to leave it wasn't her BBQ - it was your parents and an annual (fairly large-scale, by the sound of it) event. I'm assuming that your parents didn't back you up at the time, but perhaps they hadn't realised the implications when they spoke to you and your SIL made them aware.

It could well be a reverse - it is hard to understand why you'd think it was OK to go, even if it is a day you look forward to. Also, it is half-term and that can be a challenging time on MN.

You prepared food for multiple people inc infants/kids despite having a contagious illness
No wonder your sil was cross. You were reckless. And didn’t do a cursory google
Your parents clearly don’t understand the contagious nature of impetigo

YWBVVU what on Earth were you thinking?