My husband had a stressful job - taking over management from someone incompetent, wrestling the firm back into profitability, conscious that he had the livelihoods of a large staff at stake, lots of long haul travel, long days. He loved it, loved the challenge, loved the thought of the next step. Years and years of it, when said he would hate a routine, comfortable job. I can hardly think of any sick leave he took over that time.
Until suddenly the wheels started coming off - sleeping badly, getting easily irritated, recurrent stomach complaints, a generally pessimistic outlook that was just not him, forgetfulness, finding it hard to engage. I was getting very worried, but he either snapped at me or moaned about his colleagues who had previously been completely confident about. Finally, after a lot of prodding he went to see his GP about persistent headaches and came back, slightly astonished, saying he had been signed off with stress - had had a great talk, at which she had pointed out all the patterns of his life and his symptoms.
He took a long break, went on a trip to see a brother overseas, pottered about the garden - must have looked like a lovely extended holiday but it was actually a time of healing and reflection ( together with company sponsored CBT counselling ) He was fortunate to have a very helpful GP and board of directors. He then took a sideways step - handing over the chief managerial role to his deputy and taking a part time consulting role. A drop in income, but with both DCs no longer financially dependent, it was, and is, manageable.
There may have been those looking from the outside saying he didn’t look that stressed and ‘aren’t we all in modern life’ but seeing someone gradually not functioning properly despite their best efforts, is quite a different experience. I’ve made it all sound quite a smooth process but, as anyone else who has been through this will know, it isn’t.