to sacrifice my 20s for money?

[CharliesSister]

Name changed because this is outing, I've posted about my job before.

I'm 25. Fairly recently I got a job abroad as a Nanny. The money is very good, enough for me to put around £6k a month into savings. I'm very lucky.
However, the salary is high because my life has been sold (temporarily) to the family I work for. I work 7 6 days a week, 24 hours a day. I live in a country where socialising is near on impossible, and I don't have time anyway. I have one months leave a year which I use to see my family, I don't go on holidays.
The positive side of having no life is that I don't spend any money, so the vast majority goes into savings.

The plan is to stay working here until I'm 30 or go mad and use the money saved to buy a house outright, and therefore buy significant freedom and stability for my 30s onwards.

However, all my friends are off having a wonderful time of it. There's posts all over social media of lovely holidays, exciting new relationships and parties. I've been invited to several big parties back in the UK where all my friends will be (and I've not seen most of them for 6 months or more) and I know I can't go.
I'm tired all of the time, I'm insanely bored (there's nothing to do here) and no one around me speaks English so I'm isolated too.

Am I silly to stay? My friends and family are jealous of the opportunity I've been given so I feel incredibly guilty to not be loving it but someone today said that I was wasting my youth, and money isn't everything.

(Note: whilst I don't actively enjoy it, I don't hate it either and feel I can stick it out for a few years)

One of my former colleagues worked as a nanny for a Saudi princess - briefly. Apparently the princess was lovely to her but she still had to curtsey!

A good point made earlier though re spending some time thinking about what you want to do next, workwise

Is it first names with the children? Yes, and I have nicknames for them too. I got to choose what they would call me, I guess I could have gone with Miss Sister, or Madam Sister, but I prefer being referred to by my first name. All of the other nannies are called "Aunty First Name". I'm just "First Name."

All the other staff call the Mum "Madam" and the Dad "Mr First Name". I just call them by their first names.
I'm treated differently to the other staff generally.

I think it's your choice - and you should go with whatever feels right.

The salary is good - and will give opportunities in the future.

But we can never go back (sadly no amount of money buys that). So if you want to be out having fun, doing something else, and making the most of this stage of your life - go for it.

If you think a few years won't matter much, and value the stability it'll bring, then stick with it - but only do it if you really are fine with it.

Happiness is the gold we all dream of finding.

A baby-boomer relative, who is now in their 60s, drifted around for many years in different countries but then got a very well paid but incredibly restrictive job. They managed to stick it for 4 years and with the savings managed to buy a small house in the uk, make up their NI contributions and pay appropriate taxes so now they live rent free and will have a reasonable pension, whereas 10 years ago they could have been facing a precarious old age.

So OP stick it as long as you can, see if you can pay NI here and time your visits/return to the uk with an eye on the tax year.

It's up to you. I know people who had no life at all in their 20s in investment banking but retired/went to do what they really wanted in their 30s. Great for them.

Personally I couldn't do it. I had one relative die at age 31 and another in his mid 40s. You never know what is around the corner, and you will never have the energy and life force again that you have in your 20s. I thoroughly kicked the shit out of my teens and 20s, had a wonderful time and never worked long hours. I got married at 28 and had children at 29 and 33 which was just the right time. Had I left that later (was diagnosed with endometriosis after DD2 was born) I might not have been able to have children.

The hours you work are just ridiculous for the salary you receive - I hope you have a very generous annual leave to enjoy. Money definitely isn't everything - your 20s are amazing years of your life that you can never get back. Don't have any regrets later in life about things you wish you'd done while you were young.

This is an interesting thread. If you had said about having a baby, or getting married in your early 20's, you would be told not to do it because you are "wasting them" and should be "enjoying yourself (aka traveling/shagging a lot and doing Festivals/Concerts etc)..

I regret not doing the whole Ibiza etc thing in my 20's. I partied a fair bit in my 30's, did holidays with my children, but it isn't the same. For example, I won't visit India because of the poverty, I couldn't be happy knowing there are children dying from malnutrition, whilst I had spent the amount that I had to go there. Likewise parts of the Middle East because the appalling attitude towards Women. That wouldn't have been a concern in my 20's. You just become a bit less carefree.

"there's no reason why you can't do the majority of things you would do without kids" There can be, SN, weak immune system, allergies, can't cope with travel/heat etc. As said, you don't know what life throws at you. Places I've traveled to, now aren't safe.

I was Widowed in my 30's and I've had friends die in every decade of their lives, so that's were my perspective comes from. You may never get the time to do what you want. I'm 50, I've been seriously ill for two years, but I've had friends seriously disabled by health conditions/treatment as well as died.

At least have a plan for your 30's which isn't just about money, or the race to conceive.

sunshineonarainyday321 what do you consider to be "very old", just out of interest?