to sacrifice my 20s for money?

[CharliesSister]

Name changed because this is outing, I've posted about my job before.

I'm 25. Fairly recently I got a job abroad as a Nanny. The money is very good, enough for me to put around £6k a month into savings. I'm very lucky.
However, the salary is high because my life has been sold (temporarily) to the family I work for. I work 7 6 days a week, 24 hours a day. I live in a country where socialising is near on impossible, and I don't have time anyway. I have one months leave a year which I use to see my family, I don't go on holidays.
The positive side of having no life is that I don't spend any money, so the vast majority goes into savings.

The plan is to stay working here until I'm 30 or go mad and use the money saved to buy a house outright, and therefore buy significant freedom and stability for my 30s onwards.

However, all my friends are off having a wonderful time of it. There's posts all over social media of lovely holidays, exciting new relationships and parties. I've been invited to several big parties back in the UK where all my friends will be (and I've not seen most of them for 6 months or more) and I know I can't go.
I'm tired all of the time, I'm insanely bored (there's nothing to do here) and no one around me speaks English so I'm isolated too.

Am I silly to stay? My friends and family are jealous of the opportunity I've been given so I feel incredibly guilty to not be loving it but someone today said that I was wasting my youth, and money isn't everything.

(Note: whilst I don't actively enjoy it, I don't hate it either and feel I can stick it out for a few years)

I think it’s a fine idea, but don’t tie yourself to an end date.

Also, don’t be hung up on buying a property outright unless you also want to retire at 30. There’s no need if you’re intending to continue working.

I can't possibly think how much work 4 nannies would have to look after 3 children! sounds like we have an easy ride @raisedbyguineapigs but I assure you that the way things are run means that we are very busy and flat out.

Oh I’m going to go against the majority and say it’s not worth it!! Paying a mortgage in your 30s/40s/50s isn’t so bad, you can still have a life at the same time. Your 20s should be some of your most fun years, please don’t sell them All the money in the world can’t buy that time back.

Also if you did last 4 years you’d probably come away a bit depressed and having forgotten how to socialise with adults. You’ll just be sitting alone in your big fancy house wondering what happened to all of the friends you had when you were 26

I assume you are somewhere like the Middle East if socialising is a problem. Take it month by month. Otherwise you might be tempted to stick out a situation which is no longer as attractive as it might have been. Remember that even 6 months savings would be a better start than many have.

If I were in your position I’d definitely do it until 30, and pack some of the money away in a SIPP or equivalent of possible for retirement and some into stocks and shares ISAs which are more readily available. Unsure if you’re doing this already and received proper non-internet advice- apologies if so, (if not consider it!) but in my view far too many younger people don’t plan ahead; putting even a fraction of 6k away a month will see you right in the very long term and you won’t miss it now. And it’ll still leave you enough for a property !

I didn't mean to insinuate that you'd be lazing around, but their parents must not see the kids at all! It's must be how the upper crust here were brought up not so long ago too I suppose.

I would do it in a heartbeat! I'd try and move back before 30 though. Maybe do 3 year and then move back and buy house close to an affluent area (as much as you can afford without losing the benefit of a small mortgage) and take up the role of nanny or childminder again. You'll be highly sort after and you won't be as tied down. You can also afford to take a substantial pay cut once you have a small mortgage.

Such full time nannying in what I assume is somewhere like Saudi is not doable once you have kids or meet a partner.

I’d do it for as long as my MH could take it. You’re buying 40-50 years of financial security AND sounds like you’re not into the stereotypical party scene anyway (me either!).

Play the long game and save while you can. It sounds like a great opportunity and could lead to great and more flexible employment opportunities in the future.

Just do as long as you can.

When you've had enough, leave.

6k a month is a lot so just safe as much as you can and know you have a nice nest egg for later.

A small mortgage is no big deal, so don't force yourself to stay.

Don't do it if you are miserable. Pay sounds really amazing though. Would you need to be the prime minister to earn that here??

Picture what your life would be like if you moved back home. Where would you work? Social life? New relationships?
How much would you feel like you missed out?
If you're not into the whole drinking culture and have experienced travelling then earning a load of money now would seem like the best plan.
I wouldn't commit to a contract that kept you there for 4 years. Maybe reassess each year?

I always figured that people had their shit together in their 30s

Ahahahahahahahahaha ... I'm in my 30s. The shit part is spot on - 'together', decidedly less so. I'm exactly where I should be in terms of financial stability, career progression and all that good stuff and, inwardly at least, definitely winging it every day.

Seriously, though: your plan sounds smart. You'll still be young in your 30s and you'll have fewer worries. I spent the first few years of mine having to make up because I opted to waste my 20s on too much fun and a man who didn't suit me at all.

You're doing great and turning 30 is brilliant.

Well the way you describe it sounds a bit crap but surely there are things you could do while you're nannying to make it a bit more fulfilling. You say you're working 24 hours a day, are you or are you just available? Can you could spend an hour or so the odd evening doing eg an on line course, attempting to learn the language? You have a month off and while of course it's lovely to see family, why not spend one week of it or a couple of long weekends on holiday with friends?

Look if it's actually making you miserable then fair enough, I probably wouldn't relish the thought of sticking at it for 4 years if I hated it. However attitude can make all the difference and I can't help thinking perhaps you have a negative mindset - thinking of a recent job as "sacrificing" your 20s suggests you've already made up your mind how it's going to be and that you aren't very open to finding positives.

Speaking as someone who partied away their youth and future, it sounds like a great idea. Setting yourself up for life cannot be underestimated in the current financial climate for the young'uns.

You can have all the fun you want in your 30s/40s. The world will still be waiting there for you.

Buy yourself a book of Aesop's Fables out of your savings, and you'll see the wisdom.

I’d save as hard as I could. 30s is still going- most of my friends got married and had babies in 30s, it’s unusual in my circle to settle down in 20s. We were still going out in early 30s!

The freedom you’ll have from a mortgage is is worth a lot. You’ll be able to pick and choose jobs you want to do in future, knowing that you don’t have to worry about housing costs.

I don't think you are mad at all. There are loads of people in their 50's and 60's facing an uncertain future as their pensions don't perform as promised, who have spent years paying down a mortgage and see retirement disappearing over the horizon. This is only going to get worse gloomy, sorry so buying a house outright sounds an excellent idea.

Don't be afraid to walk away though if you can't stick it - saving that much a month will soon add up.

Good luck!

I imagine you are in Saudi. I think 4 years would be extremely challenging. Just stay for as long as you feel able to. Assuming the family you are working for are decent to you. Don't stay if it starts to impact on your mental health and well being.

Stick with it.

I’m almost 32 and still don’t have my shit together

Also going against the majority here, but you say you started recently and already you are tired, bored and feel isolated. I'd first give it a few more months to get over culture shock etc, but if you still feel like this after 6 months of doing the job then consider leaving. Money isn't everything, and life is for living.
A friend of mine spent several years working in a very well-paid job in a not very nice locations, saving for a nice life in the UK when she was older. Except that about a year after she returned she was diagnosed with a terminal illness and is no longer around to spend the hard-earned cash. Live now, you never know what's round the corner.

Read the thread after thread after thread in here about people that can not afford to get on the property ladder.

I worked hard and saved hard in my twenties, looking back it was so easy because I had all the energy in the world and no dependencies.

When people ask how I was able to afford my own place, I say from age 26 to 32.

I think the advice to stick it out for as long as you can while giving yourself permission to leave when you are ready is sensible. Four years is a long time, it might be easier to look at it in yearly chunks. Don't underestimate the freedom that having some money put aside can give you down the line.

I think I would try and stick it out for 2 years. Any longer and I might go mad. Put £100K on a deposit for a house and enjoy the rest - have 6 months of travelling/ fun before settling back in the real world. Presumably you could land a decent enough job in the UK at the
Higher end of the nannying spectrum? So it’s not like you would be dropping to nothing - just a bit more of a work/life balance.

The pay is exceptionally high to retain people as it's pretty obvious that it would be very restrictive, tiring and stressful for lots of people.

You've cut a deal. I think it sounds like a good one for you for now, but I agree with everyone, don't tie yourself down mentally to four years- every month you do is a £6k bonus extra, and just keep going til you really don't want to!

Could you just have the goal as to save as much as possible but allow yourself to leave when you're ready to move on? That takes the pressure off you on a hard day when you're thinking you can't possibly carry on - you don't have to but you may decide to for one more month, and then another. Keep the decision active and be good to yourself when you come to know you finally need to move on.