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AIBU?

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Original poster

To assume I've been ghosted?

610 replies

ghosting · 22/05/2018 13:57

Met a guy on OLD about a month ago, seemed lovely, all was going well and we were texting a lot and met a couple of times for coffee.

We spent the night together last night, and today...nothing.

He hasn't replied to a message I sent about 4 hours ago, although he has read it.

Is there any rational explanation, or have I been ghosted?

OP posts:
Sommelierrrr · 22/05/2018 23:26

1 fifth of current long term relationships start with OLD, just sayin...

Basta · 22/05/2018 23:28

What a cunt he clearly is. Feel quite angry for you. Angry

Flowers
Wdigin2this · 22/05/2018 23:28

The trouble is we expect men to think like women they don't.....they think like men! So to him, not responding to a text is not a big deal!

OutofSyncGirl · 22/05/2018 23:28

He’s horrible. Some men on OLD are just doing it for sex and they pretend they want a relationship.

I would also say that if you text someone, they should reply in a timely fashion usually if it has relationship potential. Nobody is ever too busy to send a quick text. Ever.

MiddleMoffat · 22/05/2018 23:30

OLD just gives the cowardly fuckers a bigger pool in which to be cowardly fuckers. I lost my virginity to a man who ghosted me afterwards....though we worked in the same building, so at least I knew he was still alive.

OutofSyncGirl · 22/05/2018 23:30

‘The trouble is we expect men to think like women they don't.....they think like men! So to him, not responding to a text is not a big deal!’

No, no, no, no, no, no! Stop mansplaining! It doesn’t matter what sex you are if you like someone you reply straight away if you had time to read it. Experience has taught me this many times.

Thewhale2903 · 22/05/2018 23:30

ghosting
I have just found this, did he text you back?

WhatsGoingOnEh · 22/05/2018 23:32

Modern dating is shit for women and amazing for men. 🙄 It's so easy - too easy - for blokes to magically summon up an unending supply of new fanny, just by tapping their fingers in a screen.

The sooner women collectively agree to insist on proper treatment from men before sex, the sooner we'll all be reaping the rewards.

I don't think sex is more important to women than commitment, relationships or love - so why are we acting like it is? Why are we dating like men? WE ARE NOT LIKE MEN. We get more attached, our standards are much higher, we want more than just a bunk up.

Abstinence puts all the pressure on men, and relieves all the pressure from women. It's so much better for us.

No sex till engagement. Sod this casual shite.

/soapbox

OutofSyncGirl · 22/05/2018 23:34

Some men go to a lot of trouble to fake wanting a relationship and it’s not the woman’s fault if she didn’t see this coming.

MallyDeets · 22/05/2018 23:35

Fuck him OP. This is not about you at all and everything about what a low down pig he is.

Please god don’t text him. Don’t delete or block him though. Wait for him to text again in a few weeks, which he will, as they always do, when the shag wears off and he thinks you’ll be pitifully grateful hearing from him. And when he does, wait a few minutes and just text back “sorry who is this?” When he replies, ghost the fuck out of him and then delete and block!

OutofSyncGirl · 22/05/2018 23:37

Oh yes you will hear from him again OP - always happens!!

PolkaHots · 22/05/2018 23:37

we want more than just a bunk up

Speak for yourself!

WhatsGoingOnEh · 22/05/2018 23:39

@PolkaHots 🤣

Cheerymom · 22/05/2018 23:42

He is rude and immature for not responding.

Having done OLD at a time lots of my friends did too this unfortunately was common, even worse I had male friend who admitted they only did OLD for sex, then the challenge was gone. Of course, none anyone would want a relationship with.

Block the rude fucker.

Wdigin2this · 22/05/2018 23:45

Outofsynch yes actually....the job I worked in, you get all the sob stories from women, how he said this, that and the other thing, and actually after he stayed the night with me on the third date, he didn't ring again, surprise...surprise!
Old, old story, always has been, always will be! I'm just glad there wasn't the attitude and technology in my day, that makes it so easy for men to behave like complete wankers!

clumsyduck · 22/05/2018 23:49

I thought even when he hadn't responded after 4 hours that you'd been ghosted . When you are keen you are keen and a quick "morning " text after you've just shagged someone would take all of 2 seconds
Sorry op Sad

OutofSyncGirl · 22/05/2018 23:50

Exactly clumsyduck.

UserV · 22/05/2018 23:52

1 fifth of current long term relationships start with OLD, just sayin...

Is that meant to be a positive statement? Coz that is 80% that DON'T end up as long term relationships.

Sadly, most men are just out for a fuck on these online dating sites, and they almost always get it. Then the woman comes on here asking 'why has he not called me? We met last Tuesday and fucked last Thursday and he hasn't called me. Why??????????'

As a few people have said, some women are very gullible f they think a man that they fuck after seeing him 2 or 3 times is going to want to see them again. Most of them are just out for as many fucks as they can get.

Fruitcorner123 · 22/05/2018 23:53

just wanted to say 2 of my best friends are married to someone they met using OLD. Dont give up hope there are gems out there but maybe don't sleep with them until you really trust them. Not a criticism of you at all, just a way to protect yourself from hurt next time.

OutofSyncGirl · 22/05/2018 23:53

‘As a few people have said, some women are very gullible f they think a man that they fuck after seeing him 2 or 3 times is going to want to see them again. Most of them are just out for as many fucks as they can get.’

Oh, so it’s the woman’s fault for shagging too early? That’s rubbish.

LionAllMessy · 22/05/2018 23:54

UserV I think you misunderstood the statistic. PP did not say one fifth of OLDs result in long-term relationships. She said that one fifth of ALL relationships start with OLD.

Which (if true of course) would definitely suggest that not ALL men on OLD are after sex and nothing more.

AjasLipstick · 22/05/2018 23:56

Sync I don't think she was saying it's the woman's fault but that it's naieve to hope for a relationship with a man from an online dating site if you sleep with them 2 or 3 dates in.

It's not unheard of...but there are a LOT of men out there who make it their hobby to sleep with as many women from these sites as possible.

UserV · 23/05/2018 00:00

I have not misunderstood anything.

clumsyduck · 23/05/2018 00:02

You have though user 😂

One fifth of online dating encounters ending in a relationship is not the same as one fifth of all relationships starting with online dating is it

LionAllMessy · 23/05/2018 00:03

Well if you understood it then saying

Is that meant to be a positive statement? Coz that is 80% that DON'T end up as long term relationships

doesn't make any sense. 80% of what don't end up as long-term relationships?