An actual, real list for your husband, really?

[LifesTooShortForYourNonsense]

There were 3 mums talking on the pick up from school today about the lists they have for their husbands - I was a bit speechless, as they were talking about real, written lists. Of stuff to do. For their full time working husbands, when they either don't work or work part time. Do people really do this? And, stay married? I don't understand, I would never... How disrespectful. I'm just imagining if my DH did this for me, I'd be so out the door! AIBU, or should I start a list!

Never written a list in 23 years.

oh, and thank fuck I'm not the only one to be highly confused about the bleaching of door frames.

Your assuming the lists are of manly DIY jobs that these SAHM/PT working women leave for their manly men. I'll happily hang pictures, fix the boiler, paint a room but I'll still leave my husband a list to remind him to unload the dishwasher, pay whatever bill, take out the bins (you get the idea). Is it the list you find wrong, or what you imagine to be on it?

If DH has a day off he asks me to leave him a list of jobs. Not every day cleaning but anything else that needs doing. He gets bored otherwise as he doesn't think of things like I do. It's generally nothing urgent so doesn't matter if he doesn't get round to it. think he'd be offended if I i put stuff like "wash up" or "do laundry" though.
I always have lists of stuff to do, but I don't share until he asks.

This is interesting because when I ask my DH to do things he actually asks me to physically write him a list.
I'm a SAHM (shock/horror) but DH generally eventually takes care of things that are high up, spider related, heavy duty.
I don't believe that DH going out to work means that all childcare for our 4dc day/night plus all housework/cooking/finances are my responsibility, I'm not bloody Cinderella.
I do about 90% at the moment though on 4 hrs average broken sleep and I'm on my knees.
I don't bleach anything except toilets usually at the moment but I constantly have a toddler and baby with me so everything I use has to be safe for them in case they get at the bowl/bucket etc.

Surely you meant zoflora the door frames???

Parents in doing-stuff-differently-to-other-people shocker.

Some people like lists, some people don't.

I can certainly see why some would find it OTT while for others it feels normal and/or essential. I think if it's entirely one sided then a lot of resentment could occur but there are ways it can flow both ways.

I think I would also feel weird if I was just presented a list of things to do, but I know I tend to think better when I'm writing so I sometimes write out lists or plans or whatever-braindump I need and then send them to my husband for his input. I've had to be very clear that they're idea lists and not to-do lists as he automatically sees them as the latter. That usually turns into a back and forth and ends with a more realistic plan and him having taken some to do while I take some of his ideas to do.

I think it depends on the couple....my DH works very long hours, and by agreement, I routinely leave him a lists of jobs to be done. If I don’t the jobs aren’t done which causes a row (sometimes). The compromise is I take the mental load and he gets a list!

Please, I am sure I am not alone on being glued to this thread, not that I'm interested in lists, but because I am waiting for an explanation of what the hell bleaching door frames is all about. In the last week I read on another thread that someone bleached skirting boards. I have to know what this fresh hell is all about.

No need for lists - a verbal command will do.

@TheSassyAssassin I thought zoflora was plant food until recently, I couldn't understand why my mother kept buying it for me.
She was trying to get me to "try it" it turns out she thought it better than my detol and sprays but I just kept putting it on a shelf as I had no plants.

I don't have a husband, but I do love writing lists for myself in order to get things off my mind and to remember things of course. I also sometimes ask people to write me lists of things they want me to do, so I know exactly what they need me to do and, again, I don't forget anything. I guess it depends on what's on the list and how it's handled and, like most things, personal preference.

Again I will say I have no problem with a shared list.
It’s women making lists for men, who can manage quite happily at work, but someone needs to tell them to take the fucking bins out!!!???
I mean a joint list that has on it.
Door needs bleaching
Cat needs washing

Who fucking forgets which day the bins go out. It’s the same fucking day every week

@Oddsocksforeveryone I take you're like me then and NEVER regularly bleach your doorframes And thank god you didn't have any plants...am imagining silently screaming cacti!

I write lists because my brain can’t cope otherwise. And I like to tick off when done.

DH writes lists for the same reasons. Sometimes we add things to each other’s lists, but they’re usually rude/funny

I have to do what with my door frames now?!?!

We have a list on our phones, can both add to it and tick stuff off, helps get shit done!

No it's 'not hard to glue gun a skirting board' - but who on earth would do that?!

Glue gunning a house together isn't diy it's a bodge job!

There’s a dedicated bleach door frame cleaning thread. It’s an eye opener

We make lists and divy up the tasks in them sometimes. Tends to be DIY / sorting stuff / changing light fittings type things. No one feels put upon but we remember everything.

@TheSassyAssassin I might go and inspect my door frames tomorrow. Some of them are only half painted, forshame.
I would love to be house proud but find it hard to fit in around the kids and important fannying about time.
I could have bleached my doorframes this afternoon after sweeping the floor but I planted seeds on the windowsill and made a box fort.
Priorities and whatnot.

door needs bleaching

cat needs washing you would t want to mix those up.

Oh strip off op some of us like lists. We write rude things on each other’s lists. It’s foreplay and getting the chores done all in one go.

Strop not strip

@Ohmydayslove

I bleach everything. Door frames. Light switches, skirting boards, window frames.

I think it’s because I am lazy, and it just cleans things without scrubbing!

Oooh!