An actual, real list for your husband, really?

[LifesTooShortForYourNonsense]

There were 3 mums talking on the pick up from school today about the lists they have for their husbands - I was a bit speechless, as they were talking about real, written lists. Of stuff to do. For their full time working husbands, when they either don't work or work part time. Do people really do this? And, stay married? I don't understand, I would never... How disrespectful. I'm just imagining if my DH did this for me, I'd be so out the door! AIBU, or should I start a list!

I occasionally write a list for DH. He's OK with it.

If he wrote me one, I would tell him to shove it up his arse.

He is forgetful and fully admits it, I am not.

I don't bother that often though because he forgets to look at the list and does something else that didn't need doing instead.

My husband and I don’t normally use lists for day to day stuff but will sit down and make a list if we have something out of the ordinary coming up that requires a bit more effort we will sit down and come up with a list of jobs that needs doing beforehand and divvy them out eg; hosting a load of guests for Christmas or a birthday party.

Do all these men get written lists at work ???
Or can they think for themselves

I just... If I think something needs doing, I'll do it. I have 2 days off a week , and DH is full time. The things they were talking about were fixing skirting boards etc. Yes, we have shared household stuff, never write it down. It's not hard to glue gun a skirting board, no problem!

Some people are list makers & users, others are not.
If people find them helpful then that is absolutely fine.

I write a to do list, anything I am not able to do such as the curtain rail is falling out and for some reason its not fucking working when I do it, I star it so he can have a look at it

DH and I have lists
We add things to both lists

His will have things that play to his skills
Mine will have things that generally involve calling people during office hours because he can't freely do it at work

So he will add things like make dentist appointments, phone the insurance company, book a hotel

And I'll add 'find a way to stop the bathroom fan squeaking, fix the blind, stain the fence

Having a list means when I've got some spare time, I can check a few things off the list and if he is going to b&q, he can everything he needs

Works well for us, and no one feels patronised

Weirdly, I find men who are more than capable of getting shit done at work, seem to be diametrically opposite at home
Maybe it’s the outlook reminders.

bleach down door frames etc.

The fuck?!

i can imagine some do

you see it on here controlling wife unhappy if they go out/drink one to many/dont stick to THEIR parenting ways blah blah blah

seriouslyi dont know how some men put up with it,some like to suck the joy out of everything

I think yabu op. I write lists for me, may as well write one for other people too. Especially household members who will do anything to avoid chipping in with chores.

But bleaching doorframes though. Thats a new one Ive never heard of before.

Ohhhhhhhh. It IS about the poor hardworking menz who need a rest! Yeah bollocks to that. Don’t care. Running a household isn’t a fanjo job. Two parents, two domestic slaves, two handy persons to get shit done.

Yep we do lists and cross off jobs dome.

Hate to shock you more op but as a nursing sister I used to write lists for the junior docs to do ie writing up drip instructions and drug charts. They used to tick off when done.

It’s efficient. Everyone knows what needs doing and it gets done.

We have a shared to do list on a whiteboard. Both of us work full time. Both of us add to the list. Both of us action the list.. but op, just because you find something really easy, doesn’t mean everyone does. I am really bad at a lot of physical tasks, but I look after the money and deal with all bills etc

Bleaching door frames? What???

What eightfacesofthemoon said... ^^

Who writes these men’s To Do lists at work?

Having said that ... I’m pretty sure that my boss has a list written for him at home by his wife, and our admin people (all women) effectively write his lists for him at work. But he is still paid easily three times what I earn

People actually write lists of things for the other person to do? Is this an actual thing?

I would be suitably unimpressed to receive a list of demands things that needed to do. I'm sure he would feel the same. If the kitchen needs cleaning, I can see that, so I'll clean it. I don't need it written down for me.

I can only imagine the look on Mr formerbabe's face if I was popping out and said "oh, be a love and bleach down the doorframes whilst I'm out"!

I don't have a list for anyone other than myself, but I do email him reminders. Stuff like MOTs due on his cars i.e. general admin that he wouldn't keep on top of as I open and action all the post.

DH writes his own lists for his own stuff. I ask him when I want him to do something (and TBH he forgets half the time!)

Nothing disrespectful about it if by mutual agreement... I know my DH does find it really hard to remember social/personal organisation stuff unless written down.

We have lists for everyone on our wall. 4 year old’s includes important things like “build train track”, “decide who want to invite to party”, “do reading” and “find missing Chase”.

8 year olds is more the homework she needs to do and getting ready for her various activities.

Mine and dh’s are all about the washing, mowing the lawn and other fun activities!

My dp writes me lists,is that wrong?

My DH asks for lists. He is a visual learner. If we sit down and chat about what needs to get done we will both write lists and then if either of us think of anything else then we add it to the relevent list.
If you have a list, you have the fun of crossing the item off the list when it is done. The Germans have an actual word that means taking pleasure in crossing things off a list. We cant remember what the word is so we call it list-en-cross-en-off-en

My DH would LOVE me to make him a list of things that need doing, as then he'd be absolved of all responsibility to look around and think for himself, and it would cement me as the "manager" of the home.

Fuck that! I do not make lists for other capable adults.

I like the sound of all you other people's lists, where it's all efficient and collaborative, and everyone isn't burning with resentment about it all, though!