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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you?

195 replies

carol1234568 · 20/05/2018 19:56

Sorry for the depressing thread, but sometimes I start thinking about all the sad things most of us will have to deal with in life.

Obviously we all have shit things happen - I've been bullied, made redundant and have had issues with my parents over the years, but I'm talking about the single hardest thing you've had to deal with.

For me it was when my grandmother died. I feel many people brush off grandparents deaths and don't realise it can be just as sad as a parent dying. My grandma cared about me more than my parents do, and her death was my first real experience with loss.

What about you?

OP posts:
LegallyBrunet · 20/05/2018 21:22

I always dreamt of being a children’s nurse as my little brother is severely disabled. I got to my second year and was forced to leave due to my epilepsy worsening. Not as awful as some of them on here but it really knocked my confidence to the point I became depressed and refused to eat

BlueTrousers · 20/05/2018 21:24

Thankyou seawitchly & hushnowthanks

Flowers to everyone
Life can be so fucking cruel

nipersvest · 20/05/2018 21:24

I had a heart attack. Came completely out of the blue a few months ago, no prior symptoms. It was a very unusual and rare type of heart attack, nothing to do with heart disease or high cholesterol. 2 arteries tore or 'dissected', its called spontaneous coronary artery dissection and affects mainly women.

Passthesalt1 · 20/05/2018 21:24

The worst thing was being raped at 14 and having a concealed pregnancy, then having him alone in my room when my mum found me because he was crying, I then gave him up for adoption and having mental health problems and multiple miscarriages. I finally gave birth to my beautiful son and daughter but one has a congenital facial deformity and autism and the other has Tourette's.

They are the light of my life and make everything worth it.

elliejjtiny · 20/05/2018 21:25

My first miscarriage. I was only 23 and it was my first "grown up" trauma of that makes sense. My 2nd one was so sad but somehow less of a shock because by then I knew that I wasn't invincible.

When my 4th baby was taken to intensive care after he was born. It felt like part of my soul had been ripped out. When it happened again with my 5th baby it felt worse although I'm not sure why.

shortgirlfromessex · 20/05/2018 21:28

My mum going to prison.

My friend dying from cancer.

Bullying due to cleft lip and palette.

chocolateworshipper · 20/05/2018 21:28

DD taking an overdose

NutElla5x · 20/05/2018 21:28

Losing my brother to suicide had a massive impact on me.I'm sill struggling with it 15 years later.

WineIsMyMainVice · 20/05/2018 21:28

My 4 year old niece has just been diagnosed with a brain tumour. It’s too big to be taken out so we’re not sure how long she has left. Max 18 months. It is sheer hell right now.

fattygettingthin · 20/05/2018 21:29

My dad died when I was 12 and I genuinely think that's why I have so many issue with food. I didn't have any decent grief counselling and my dad was very sick for such a long time. I miss him so much he should have been there when I got married and he would have loved DH.

Sunnysidegold · 20/05/2018 21:29

Heartbreaking stuff here.

My childhood cancer not being revealed to me by my parents, and when ifound out about it I was told not to make a fuss and to not tell anyone. I was so sick and so confused.

Bullied so badly I wanted to kill myself. The depression was so hard to get out of. Took a long time but I am finally happy.

Ds1 birth. Complications for me following difficult delivery weren't picked up on and I think one midwife thought I was just being lazy. Took me collapsing in a pool of blood for things to get put right.

A horrific event leading to a death nd the consequent ptsd that I am only now getting through.

Miscarriage.

Taking husband to hospital and see him get progressively worse in the journey and then the a&e team havibg to work on him to stabilise him.

You know what though? These stories are all so heartbreaking and for some of you to have gone through so many things and still be here is quite incredible.

We are all still here.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has thought of giving up, or has felt so horribly low they can't imagine getting to the end of the hour let alone the day.

But we are all still here.

Keeping going, getting on with things (and to the early poster in her room with ocd, I applaud your positivity, you can see the light at the end of the tunnel!), even if sometimes it's just going through the motions.

We are all still here.

Ellyess · 20/05/2018 21:31

OriginalGeordie This happened to me in 1972! So long ago and so many things have happened since it was not the first thing I remembered. I am so sorry! You sound as if the shock is still with you. I would really like to persuade you to ask for counselling. I had severe PTSD after it happened to me. Both my baby and I nearly died. So my husband was ordered out and I saw him paddle out through my blood! For years I had flashbacks. There was not the awareness of PTSD. Nobody knew I was going through it all over and over, everyone else seemed so happy with their babies.

Please do go to your GP and say it still troubles you and you need help. I believe (I am a psychologist, I wasn't then) that talking about it is the best help.

I am so glad you survived. You must be a fighter! Now don't keep thinking that dying is like that. It was one horrible experience and when it happens in childbirth, because of the large blood-vessels, it is always fast, but other ways of dying are extremely different from that. So you must not let that play on your mind. I actually had an "Out of Body Experience" when I haemorrhaged after childbirth, and that, at least, has made me realise that actually dying is nothing to fear. We leave our body and it is lovely. We are with friends and can feel their love. Obviously I came back and I believe this was because my baby had been revived.

Please get some help love, this should not keep upsetting you. Flowers

Mulberry72 · 20/05/2018 21:32

My DM dying from fucking bastard cancer four weeks after she was diagnosed. It absolutely broke me.

Even three years later I’m still broken.

Hidingtonothing · 20/05/2018 21:34

Burglary, we were in and were held downstairs at gunpoint while men with knives ransacked upstairs where 4yo DD was sleeping. Not being able to protect her was the single most horrifying thing I've ever gone through.

So much tragedy on this thread, Flowers for everyone.

candlefloozy · 20/05/2018 21:34

@mtpicasso that's made me well up. What a difficult thing that must have been. Big hugs to you xx

findingmyfeet12 · 20/05/2018 21:36

My 13 year struggle with infertility that has seen me have numerous cycles of IUI and IVF and 3 miscarriages.

It's not anywhere near as bad as everyone else's.

honeylulu · 20/05/2018 21:36

Carrying my baby son's coffin into the chapel for his funeral. It was all arranged and i had been adamant i wanted to do it and without help but I actually felt like i was passing out with how unbearable it was.

Pettynotvindictive · 20/05/2018 21:37

My mum killed herself when I was 12. My dad blamed me and blatantly hated me. NC now.

Being arrested for breaking my uncles nose when he tried to rape me. He pressed charges, police didn't believe me, lack of evidence meant charges were dropped.

I was 14. He was 54.

Westcoastvacation · 20/05/2018 21:37

Losing my mum as a young teen. 30 years on I have not come to terms with the loss.
Like Harry yesterday there is a sadness at so of life’s milestones.

Oblomov18 · 20/05/2018 21:38

2 things:

  1. Diabetic Hypo in Moscow. 3 weeks later still in Psychiatric bed, with bed sores, till my mum said to the consulate,if they didn't get me within 24 hours, she would!

  2. Nearly lost both ds's, having list them for 6 weeks, being told I was Unfit

Ellyess · 20/05/2018 21:38

Sunnysidegold You are a Gift! A Healer! Thank you so much! I am just so sorry you have had so many burdens to carry. Yet how strong you are and you give your strength to the rest of us so that we may get through our hard times! God bless you! Star

Ginormoustrawberry · 20/05/2018 21:39

Interesting first day on MN OP Hmm

Have you had your fill of ‘car crash reading’ yet? Your blatant voyerisim at the expense of others pain quite frankly disgusts me and I’m surprised no one else has picked up on it!

My heart goes out to all who have posted Flowers

IsItIorAreTheOthersCrazy · 20/05/2018 21:40

Thank you Grenoble and congratulations on your baby. I'm so glad it's all worked out for you. The journey is emotionally exhausting but must be so worth it if you can get it to work out 💐

Ellyess · 20/05/2018 21:42

Oblomov18 I am so very sorry! What cruel experiences you have had! I can't imagine how hard it must have been. I really hope and pray things are well now. Are your DD with you safely? God bless you and them and your mother. Flowers

Oblomov18 · 20/05/2018 21:42

Mis-post.
Unfit mother. Diabetes and accused of Munchausens. Lost both ds's for 6 weeks.
Awful. Will never get over it.