What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you?

[carol1234568]

Sorry for the depressing thread, but sometimes I start thinking about all the sad things most of us will have to deal with in life.

Obviously we all have shit things happen - I've been bullied, made redundant and have had issues with my parents over the years, but I'm talking about the single hardest thing you've had to deal with.

For me it was when my grandmother died. I feel many people brush off grandparents deaths and don't realise it can be just as sad as a parent dying. My grandma cared about me more than my parents do, and her death was my first real experience with loss.

What about you?

My daughter being diagnosed with cystic fibrosis.

Almost dying after giving birth, I knew I was in trouble and it was horrible. Seeing the panic on everyone’s faces and being so weak that all I could was lie there whilst they worked on me but I was so aware, that is the part haunts me. Seeing my distraught DH and newborn being ushered out the room was utterly devastating but I just couldn’t do anything. I always thought that if the worst ever happened you’d be too of it to know.

My childhood in general - continual sexual abuse and harassment, as well as emotional and mental abuse, and total lack of love and support.

Still it wasn't as bad as some of these stories.

and hugs.

Losing my dad has been the hardest thing I've had to deal with. However he saw me married, saw all my dcs etc so I didn't lose him tragically young.

to all on this thread

Being told at our 20 week scan that things weren't right, and the snowball of appointments and tests afterwards which confirmed the baby would be stillborn

Seeing the damage caused by an ear infection and being helpless to fix it, my son was just 2 and a half, he had a febrile convultion lasting 52 minutes, i thought he had died. He had to be resuscitated and now at 5 and a half has epilepsy (4 different seizure types) global developmental delay, adhd, asd, scar tissue on his brain and a cystic lesion. He was born NT and was such a bright little chappie, and despite his struggles now, hes still the happiest little soul- but i feel like i am mourning the child he was.

Watching, and then hearing through a forcibly locked door, various episodes of my little siblings (from toddlerhood onward) being beaten by our father. On several occasions being very afraid they would be killed, and having no way to get to them or stop it from happening.

When I'm very stressed I can still hear them screaming for me in my head. I feel like a little part of my soul broke off and is still sitting behind that door.

I would say that the overwhelmingly worst thing is simply being me. It’s really hard, almost torturous actually.
But
Things that have broken me
A TFMR at 23 weeks
My dad being murdered
My Mum dying 3 months after diagnosi
My grandpa dying 2 weeks before Mum did
Not coping and losing my friends

Child abuse
Sexual assault as an adult
Domestic abuse
Homelessness
Rejection/isolation
Death of partner
Child in intensive care
Redundancy
Physical and mental illness
Self harm and suicidal thoughts
I’m a traumatised mess and survive by keeping busy and avoiding thinking or talking about any of it.

Giving birth to a micro preemie.

It's a close tie between two.

I miscarried at 14 weeks, two weeks before my wedding. It was the third loss in a year. Still went ahead with the wedding. DH's 15 year old cousin was there with her accidental baby. I've never felt so consumed with envy and hate in my entire life. In laws were vile to me all day, and I took myself off by 6pm to go cry in the bath in the bridal suite. I've never felt so alone before.

The close second is when I thought I was losing DS. I was soaking a pad an hour, and was in the hospital for the weekend. DH was away at football. Found out he was actually shitfaced and getting lap dances all weekend while I sat wondering how I could cope with losing another baby. We worked it out, and DS made it into the world.

Also secondary infertility and PND . Not sure which was the worst .

This is so sad. Please be kind to yourself.

I've lived through some terrible stuff. I can't bear to type. But you may never ever realise it to speak to me. I'd not want you to either, because it helps having a safe place away from it all.

ive not even written details and im crying for both you and myself.

but there's alot of kindness in the world, a lot of good and if that outweighs the bad, then I'll live & die happy xxxx

My 3 year old daughter dying, nothing else not even my mums death comes remotely close.

Philippa 💐

Being raped and giving evidence in court. Husband leaving suddenly. Both have left me stronger. The only thing that terrifies me is losing my child now. That's got to be the worst thing,

My miscarriages last year. I had three healthy DC prior to it with completely event free pregnancies so I was a little arrogant and cock sure that miscarriage wouldn’t happen to me. I had missed miscarriages which basically led to me not having a clue anything was wrong until I was 11 and 12 weeks and had a scan. They were huge shocks and massive blows. I also almost died during the first miscarriage due to a massive haemorrhage which required emergency surgery and blood transfusions to save my life. It was horrific, the whole room looked like a horror movie and there’s absolutely no dignity in any of it.

I was severely depressed for months afterwards and most days was gutted I woke up. I hated leaving the house in case I was faced with a pregnant woman or newborn, I’d cry sometimes just seeing one on the front of a magazine... I knew the only thing that would make me feel even remotely better was a healthy baby so tried again and am now 16 weeks, so far so good. It’s been a rollercoaster, that’s for sure.

Oh Philippa

I can't name just one thing each one made me who I am today. But the last two years have been the hardest
Losing my grandad aged 5
Being sexually abuse
Finding out my dad died 2 years ago
And having a few miscarriages
Finding out my dads mum died of liver and kidney failure. ( never met my dad or his mum but I am and was devastated all my life all I wanted was a normal family and to see my dad I feel a huge loss). I don't get on with my mums side of the family either.

Tough one
My parents broke up when I was ten as a result of my dad having an affair. I witnessed a lot of violence and had to see my mum drinking bottles of vokda infront of me and bringing strange men home and shagging them infront of me. I also witnessed her taking a bottle of pills infront of me at the top of the stairs and she got rushed to hospital. I had to move house into a shithole and Change school which I hated.

Another one was when I fell pregnant at 18 to this guy I was in love with. He constantly cheated on me and lied to me. I got made redundant during my pregnancy and had to move back in with my parents. I signed on benefits. I didn't see my babies dad the full pregnancy and he appeared two weeks after dd was born, he stole my bank card and robbed everything out my account and spent a fortune over the overdraft then fucked off. Never to be seen again.

Miscarriage. I know it sounds small to some, but it's unlikely I'll have a baby and it's brought up a whole load of issues that were lying dormant.

Losing both my brothers, and the impact of that on my parents and our family relationships.

for everyone, this is a reminder that you never know what awful things people you meet have been through, and to be kind to others and ourselves

My ds dad dying. It breaks my heart my ds growing up without his dad.

Dad dying suddenly 2 days before my 21st Birthday....changed my whole perspective on life
Subsequently didn't do as well in University finals, so had to rethink career
Later had 2 miscarriages , followed by traumatic emergency caesarean for dd for cord prolapse, when both of us nearly died
Dh attempted suicide when our dd's were only 4 and 18months
All 3 dcs diagnosed with SEN
Dm died suddenly and alone ....since then my half brother and sister have not been in contact
I've recently been diagnosed with an incurable illness and currently still receiving treatment
Db is terminally ill with metastatic cancer
for everyone with their own battles

The worst thing by far that has happened to me is infertility.
I remember so well being told that my husband had Zero sperm, he wasn't there as we'd been told he wasn't needed for the appointment. I had to go home and tell him.
I lived in a fog of grief and stress for almost 6 years until we adopted our son. He healed me and I'm so grateful.