What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you?

[carol1234568]

Sorry for the depressing thread, but sometimes I start thinking about all the sad things most of us will have to deal with in life.

Obviously we all have shit things happen - I've been bullied, made redundant and have had issues with my parents over the years, but I'm talking about the single hardest thing you've had to deal with.

For me it was when my grandmother died. I feel many people brush off grandparents deaths and don't realise it can be just as sad as a parent dying. My grandma cared about me more than my parents do, and her death was my first real experience with loss.

What about you?

Growing up in a shitty towerbock in London in the 1980s without a father and being bought up by a partially deaf, angry, mentally ill single mother who was young and totally ill-equipped to deal with any part of parenthood. Or even being an adult, really.
Then at age 9 my amazing, wonderful steiner class teacher (who was like a father figure to me) leaving to spend more time with his own daughter and my mum deciding to homeschool me, so I was totally dependent on her for everything and even more isolated.

Second hardest was leaving my son's emotionally abusive father and being terrified that all of the above would repeat itself, another generation along. Leaving was the right thing but it was hellish for a few years.

gingerh4ir I've read everyone's experience, but yours made me cry. I'm so sorry, my love. I do hope the days will get brighter and you will develop a wonderful relationship with your very special little girl.

I feel so sad reading these. Life is so hard.
My dad dying in horrific circumstances was the worst time of my life. It truly was awful and I don’t know how I got through it.
On a different scale, but still something that has affected me for my whole life, was being bullied at school.

I lost my dad very suddenly from a heart attack when I was 20 and I had sibling who were 16 and 12.

My son has ASD and has had periods of being suicidal. Really trying to kill himself when he was 10 because no one understood him. That, I think was the worst thing anyone can face.

to all of you. So much kind support on this forum, it's a wonderful thing.

I'm going through both of mine right now.

Infertility, our treatments haven't worked, we're 5.5 years in and we have nothing to show for the tears, treatment and stress.
Pinnacle of this may well have been having the last appointment to be told treatment hasn't worked and we don't really have many options left, coming outside for air just to receive a message from a friend excitedly telling me she was 5 months pregnant and hadn't realised. I didn't even cry, just felt the numbness taking over and it's taken weeks to come out of.

Second is dealing with dm's current MH crisis. She has made suicide attempts, her drinking has increased hugely, she's so unhappy and crying out for help and it's proving impossible to get her what she needs. I am on pins worrying about her.

to everyone who's posted

KinkyAfro I am so very sorry. My husband and father of our three daughters did the same. Somehow you will pick up your life, but I think you will be like me, never quite the same as people who have not been through this. Take care of yourself and remember to love yourself.

Infertility turning my now ex husband into an abusive arsehole. I'm sure it was just the trigger for what was already there but I had 2 lovely years until I discovered he was an abusive wanker and it's just got progressively worse over the last 6

My brother's suicide.

RhubarbTea What a brave and strong woman you are. I admire you.

My 2nd baby was stillborn at 26 weeks. I still don't know how to this day that I'm still breathing, I've literally never felt pain like it. I had my 3rd the same year and she nearly died of a chest infection at 12 days old so that was a close second.

My parents separated when I was 13, when my dad left for a younger woman. My mum was heavily pregnant, took an overdose and told me at breakfast what she'd done. She had to have a medical termination and was sectioned for 6 months. Visiting her in a secure mental unit was not remotely enjoyable, and she spent the whole time asking ?s about dad. We were left to sofa surf from one relative to another as dad was too busy with his new gf to look after us. He went bankrupt so the house was lost too and all our belongings. I grew up very quickly, as I had to take care of Mum from the day she came out. That comes close 3rd.

But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Shit happens to us all, and it's how you come out the other side that matters. I'm a loving secure happy person who met an amazing DH, has 3 wonderful living children and 3 grandchildren. I now have a good relationship with both parents as life is too short, and all animosity between them thankfully died the day I gave birth to my 1st child. They both come for Christmas and birthdays, and my dad is good friends with my stepdad. I never saw that coming!!

The year i got married as husband made redundant twice, sofa surfed, lived in 6 places, mum went though cancer (i supported her as dad went to pieces and my sister gave birth), my sister pnd (again went to live with her for weeks to help), grans cancer which killed her and a few days later my grandad. It got to the point that year i was thinking what next. Hated the phone ringing as thats how i found out about grandad. Almost ten years later just above recovering from that year but still hurts. There were other events that year that pretty much pushed me to my limit. However it was the year i found mn so not all bad. Hugs to everyone.

IsItIorAreTheOthersCrazy that is so tough. I have a beautiful donor egg baby. He is my world. My dm died recently and my df drinks all day and I am worried sick about him too. You're not alone. x

Losing my mum suddenly to a tragic and completely avoidable situation. I will never get over that. Horrible situations and a car crash many years ago were awful too. More recently ( a few weeks ago) my son witnessed his friend be hit by a car and die a few hours later. I feel utterly traumatised even though I didn't know the lad and so worried and gutted for my son to have to witness that at the age of 17. I still feel tearful weeks later.

Finding out I was pregnant at 15 then once my daughter was born her being diagnosed with a very rare congenital heart defect. Being to say goodbye to my her as she was having open heart surgery at 6 days old. She survived but it was the most traumatic time of my life. She ended up having 5 surgeries in total.

Reading through these posts breaks my heart, to everyone. Mine don't even come close to any of these, but for me, they are bad.

Losing my grandma would be one of the worst things to happen to me. I was 6 at the time, it didn't have much impact on me then apart from being the first time I'd see my dad truly upset. My parents often used to leave me with my grandma as she lived almost next door, which I hated because she had a bit of dementia and would tell me the same boring (at least to a young child) stories over again, whereas my other grandma used to let me watch tv and play games. It's only as I've gotten older that I've realised how much I missed out on hearing her stories, my grandad died before I was born so I feel like I never got to know that side of my family at all. Although deep down I know I was just a young child, I feel very guilty for always complaining whenever I would go to her house and for never getting to know her more.

Otherwise, it would be the time that I was travelling home from school and my friend told me that my mum told her mum (hope that's not too confusing!) that she didn't feel the same connection with me as she did with my sisters, or something along those lines. I always knew this since I was young, my mum was in no way abusive or neglectful but I have two older sisters who it was clear she cared about more than me. Even just small things, like the way she'd have a picture of one sister on her phone lock screen and the other one on her home screen, and me nowhere, used to break my heart. My dad is great, but I always resented growing up knowing I was my mother's least favourite, and not having this close bond with her that all my friends seemed to have with their mums. It also really hurt me that my friend knew this, as I have always been very private and was very upset my mum had gone around telling people.

My daughters accident, the horrific phone call from the police to tell me what had happened, then finding out what my cunt of an ex did, (long story, basically refused to help the police find me, meaning she was alone in the hospital for eight hours) and when they finally did find me, sitting beside her bed for three weeks not knowing if she would live or die. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

*being told

My daughter dying. I blame myself, so the guilt doesn’t help.

MissusGeneHunt I am so sorry. His one moment should not keep repeating for you and upsetting your life. I know. My husband did this and we had three daughters at school. You could not have stopped him and it was not your fault. Do not carry any baggage! I am just so sorry you are thinking of it so much. Please, please try to let go, try to live your own life and release this pain and leave it. You will always have some of it but it must not hold your life back. It happens to many of us. I am so sorry, my dear girl. Take care of yourself.

Walking into my mums house knowing I would find her dead in there

Forced into prostitution. For three years. Not close to family and they didn't know or the man responsible would have seriously hurt them. Made to work 12 hours through the night, every night. If I said no I was badly hurt. Ran away when he beat me in the head with an iron bar. That was the worst thing.

Getting involved with an emotionally abusive man. I didn't understand what was happening and thought it was my fault. Gave up my career to make him happy (didn't work) and have never succeeded in getting back on the ladder. 10 years ago and I still have moments of despair because his shadow still falls on me. for everyone who has had such hard times.

Suicide of father, death of my dearest love/husband, abortion, chronic illness of sibling, emigration, childhood poverty and own deep anxiety/depression all by the age of 30.

Lots of therapy and support though.

Have thoroughly wonderful life now, job/house/partner/friendship wise but I don't really trust life.

everybody.