To be furious at bf’s brother and bf

[Ihavenamechangedforthis33]

My Boyfriends brother asked my BF to borrow him £25 yesterday and seen this morning on Facebook that he went to the cinema last night on a going nowhere date. Wtf? Why ask to borrow money and then go somewhere expensive like the cinema? I suggested posting something sarcastic about it on his Facebook and bf had a proper go at me. I am now sat in the garden to get away from him shouting and trying to enjoy the sunshine but it hasn’t reached the garden yet.

AIBU to think If you ask to borrow money from someone you don’t then just waste the money on things you don’t need? I assumed his brother was in a desperate situation when he asked. I am furious not that he borrowed his brother money but that brother then went out and watched a film at the cinema needlessly hoping for a shag I asked bf when he expected to get the money back and he said He doesn’t know. I think he is an absolute pushover and an easy target for his brother to keep asking him all the time. I would have told him no and to fuck off!

Not pushing it further but that is 25 pound that he probably won’t get back now. After a nice day yesterday watching the RW it has since been ruined by this mornings antics. Have posted about him before and was told BU last time but brother is a SCFS (super cheeky fucker scrounger). Should I raise the point of ensuring the money is paid back or just drop it even though I’m fuming about it?

Is your bf very short of money?
Will the loss of the £25 have any impact on you?

If the answer is no then yabu and it has nothing to do with you!!

I'm reading this thinking to myself where you can go to the cinema buy tickets, drinks and popcorn for £25?!

Vue cinema near me is £5.99 a ticket.

Yes, YABU OP. You sound like a stroppy teenager.

I think the only thing people are not realising is why he hasn't seen the sense to break up with you and your amateur dramatics.

I imagine FuckPants recognised your situation and writing style so could know with some certainty. I missed your other thread btw but agree with pps that unless you are living together and have joint finances, I don’t think you can complain. And I think grabbing the phone out of his hands is controlling.

This thread coupled with your previous make you sound abusive OP and I would strongly urge you to seek help with this before it escalates. I am happy to recommend an appropriate treatment pathway if you like, just PM me.

But you are not treating him well either are you. It’s none of your business.

Your boyfriends brother asked him to lend him £25 not borrow him £25..... just saying

I think you're going to find out that his brother is much more important to him than you are. You sound so envious of the close relationship they have.

No-one will be able to put up with your controlling and very childish behaviour for long.

Are you jealous of his relationship with his brother?

Oh, and lots of us DID know it was the same OP as last night. It's your use of language. And the incorrect use of 'borrow'.

I don't think it's really up to you what your brother does with his money. It's up to him who he lends to. And it's £25, not £200 - assuming your boyfriend can afford to lend it, it's not really breaking the bank.

it's his money and his brother. You are very lucky to be forgiven after the phone snatching, I would never comment on what your boyfriend lends his brother again if I were you.

Deeply odd behaviour. Rare sunny day and you have steam coming out of your ears because someone else lent a family member £25. Not rational op

Why hasn't he dumped you yet?

Homo jeremykyliens? Or yet another made-up OP to keep up the traffic?

People have different family cultures. Some families readily lend each other money with no strings attached. Others wouldn’t dream of asking for money unless they are desperate. If you want a longer term relationship with bf, you will need to come to terms with the fact that this is a more sharing family than you are used to. There can be upsides too. It might take you a while to get used to.
As a gf, you do not necessarily get priority over his funds, unless you have shared finances or children.
For £25, you are being ridiculous unless your bf can’t eat the rest of the month as a result of this.
You should apologise.

You seem to have a real problem with your BF brother. It isn't normal to get that upset about £25 so maybe you should look at what is really going on here. Jealousy?

Very odd behaviour. It's £25 if he doesn't get it back it's not worth falling out over

i am actually going to go against the grain here and see where the op is coming from. If her brother is constantly scrounging of them then yes, i have known people like this and yes very draining to be around. It is easy to say 'it is only 25 quid' but if he is doing it all the time it becomes annoying and the bf is being taken advantage of. It becomes so much more than money-scrounging lifts, scrounging food, hanging around your house 24/7....Easy to say 'it is not her business' but if your bfs scrounging brother was hanging around your house all the time and it was take take take then it becomes very annoying.

Your day was ruined over someone else’s £25?

Why don’t you practice being generous yourself? Why not give bf’s brother a gift of £25 to feel what it is like?

If he had spent it on drugs I could understand you being annoyed but the cinema isn't too bad!!

Unless it was his last £25 until payday yabvu. He's an adult man so can lend money to whoever he wants (even if the brother has a history of not paying it back)

People aren't commenting on whether he is being taken advantage of or not, because that isn't the point, OP.

The point is, regardless of why, what for, how much, or how fair on your brother it is, it is NONE of your business. You get NO say. And if you try to say and then throw a strop, you become the one in the wrong, not the advantage-taking brother. You need to sit down, shut up, and just wait to pick up the pieces when your bf realises. As it is, you are being unreasonable and controlling.