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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable to be angry with my son’s uni tutors?

347 replies

Ladymacbethshandwash · 18/05/2018 17:04

My 18 year old son is coming to the end of his first year of a performing arts degree. Since he was a little boy he wanted to become an actor so this was the natural route for him to take.

He has struggled with certain aspects of the course, namely the movement side as he is 6 foot 3 and as graceful as bambi on ice. He has failed his two movement assessments and passed his acting assessments. Today at his end of year tutorial his tutors told him he will never make it as an actor. They bluntly destroyed his dreams and sent him on his way. My 18 year old son is away from home, distraught because in his opinion his dream is over, his life is finished. He won’t come home and he doesn’t want to speak to me. Why oh why could they have not been a little more careful about the language they used? I know I’m his Mum, so I am obviously biased but he does have something, he’s funny, confident, handsome and he does have acting ability. Unfortunately he doesn’t believe this now, he’s so low I don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 18/05/2018 17:53

Sounds like failing at movement at drama school would be great grist to a stand-up routine for a 6 foot 3 gangly comic...

BarbarianMum · 18/05/2018 17:56

Movement is an important part of a performing arts degree. I don't know whether it is vital to being an actor. I guess it might limit the roles you might be offered, which is not ideal in an already competitive industry, but that's not the same as saying it's impossible.

OP all you can do is support your son as he considers his future and decides what to do.

dancinfeet · 18/05/2018 17:58

Did he take any dance / movement classes before he went to Uni?

If not, then this is why he is struggling to pass this part- because you can't do one part of the course without the other. Some actors will have far less dance experience than others, but if you knew this was his weakest skill, why did he not take at least a few lessons to get some basics and to gain a little more coordination? Is it possible for him to do a little extra over the summer, or is he not able to return to his course? Is he at a Conservatoire offering a degree, or a University? I am just wondering if he had an audition based entry or whether it was entirely through UCAS and interview, as to whether you could get some leeway regarding resitting the failed modules at a later stage from the course provider. As in, if he auditioned, and they saw that he was not particularly coordinated but still accepted him onto the course, then surely he should have been given additional support in dance/movement to ensure that these skills were up to an acceptable pass level, even if he wasn't going to ace those modules, but enough to get him through. Have they actually asked him not to return for the second year, or is he just feeling that he can't because of the negative feedback from his tutor?

Even at the most serious drama schools require their actors to have a little coordination - and often some sort of dance or dance based movement is part of the drama school's curriculum. Even though it is not really possible to develop an advanced level of dance in a short space of time, a few basic skills never go amiss. To those who have said that lots of actors can't dance - this may be true, but if they have been through drama school (and not just spotted in a supermarket) they will have had some basic dance tuition as part of their training.

My eldest DD wants to go into the industry and although she is an accomplished dancer, she has had far less singing and drama training, so I have spent ££££ in the last year on both private and group singing and drama lessons for her to develop these skills to support her dance. I don't have a lot of money and am a single parent, but I wanted her to be as well prepared for auditioning and training within the industry as she can be, and if she doesn't make it after we have done all we can then she must accept that it is an extremely tough industry and just isn't meant to be. I'm hoping that it won't be the case, and she will be starting her auditions next year.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 18/05/2018 17:59

Tell him not to lose heart. If Kiera Knightly can make it... Wink

Carolynnnna · 18/05/2018 18:00

It's a tough one. You could say "What do those idiots know", but if you take that line then the course loses its value.

Perhaps the movement problem is the reason for all the failed auditions?

It's harsh, but the profession is very, very harsh.

I think your idea about taking a year out and going to auditions is a good one.

juliastone · 18/05/2018 18:02

What do you mean @Juells? There is a point, I have a point 😉 It is a talent, many great actors didn't even manage to get into the schools of their choice. And yet they are great actors. Not everyone is good for all genres, and almost all schools still try to push the average success on everyone. Someone can excel in one thing and be useless for something else. It s also very important how the crowd perceives and feels the energy of the artist. And the teachers are not your regular crowd they are the elite and their taste doesnt necessarily represent the taste of the people who pay to go to the theatre or to watch netflix.

IDismyname · 18/05/2018 18:04

There is more than one way to skin a cat...

I was told similar at that age, but different industry all together.

I did as my tutors suggested, then sidled across back into what I wanted to do in the first place! Have been there ever since (20+ years)

Hopefully it will put fire in his belly, if he's that invested...

I do hate the fact that we, as parents, have no input into our kids education after they pass the age of 18...

I hope it all works out for him.

Ruffian · 18/05/2018 18:04

He's not fitting in with this particular degree course but he's clearly got talent to have got the place out of 700 applicants and he's got plenty of other crucial attributes.

Taking a year out is a good idea. Since he's funny and he's got resilience he could try comedy or street performance.

Pretty much every biography of every actor i've read has told of a devasting rejection they had to overcome -he'll be ok!

Carolynnnna · 18/05/2018 18:04

dancinfeet I don't think they are specifically referring to dancing, though, are they? Good acting involves being able to use your body (as well as your voice) to express the character you are playing.

There is a most excellent article about it here by a movement coach at RADA:
www.theguardian.com/stage/2009/may/09/jackie-snow-movement-exercises-actors

dancinfeet · 18/05/2018 18:04

sorry, I missed out a whole page of reading somehow, so some of my questions had already been answered.

As a conservatoire, its a bit concerning that he can get chosen out of over 700 for one of 30 places and then not meet expectations, as competition is fierce. Is the course title Drama or Performing Arts as this can indicate a higher dance movement content?

SeventyNineBottlesOfWine · 18/05/2018 18:06

My disabled son is doing a drama course-at college, not university and is excelling.
I disagree that movement is an extremely important part of acting. My son is ungraceful, walks dragging his feet but acts so passionately and is so believable as whichever character he is playing. He receives merits and distinctions continuously.
I would suggest your son looks into a different course as after all he has only been told that this particular one isn't for him. He hasn't been told he'll never make it as an actor.

RB68 · 18/05/2018 18:06

I would sort out some dance classes for him - go for street stuff, ballet or contemporary for strength and grace and tell him to throw himself into it. Acting is very much putting yourself out there and learning to leave your own hang ups on a peg at the door - so is dance.

Dance is great for stamina, projection and definition. i think he just sounds quite young and not yet comfortable in his own skin given he is a bit of a bambi anyway

Carolynnnna · 18/05/2018 18:07

An insightful excerpt from the article I linked:
All actors should be magpies, collecting mannerisms and voices and walks: get into the habit of going on reccies, following someone down the road and studying their gait, the set of their shoulders, the way their hands move as they walk. Get on to a bus and watch how people get on and off, the way that some instinctively have wonderful balance, while others are stiff and dangerously close to falling.

LillianGish · 18/05/2018 18:07

You don't need a performing arts degree to be an actor and nor does having a performing arts degree necessarily lead to a career in acting (I did one and hardly anyone ended up in the theatre. A good friend of ds's has never been anywhere near a stage school or acting course, but has a good agent and a fair amount of work!). It is an incredibly difficult field to try and get into - as much about luck as anything - and so much of it is about how you look and whether your face fits in the eyes of a particular director casting a particular piece. Can he transfer to a non-performance related course so his year has not been entirely wasted and then keep acting in his spare time? His dream isn't over he just needs to come at things from a different angle. YANBU to be angry with his tutors - they obviously saw something in him in the first place to give him a place on the course - I can't believe he's changed so much they now want to kick him off. In your place I would be trying to persuade my son that this isn't the end, it's just the beginning. Help him to find a different course to keep all his options open and encourage him to keep acting

Vangoghsear · 18/05/2018 18:07

A physio once told me that awkward (in terms of movement) teenage boys sometimes struggled because their brains couldn't keep up with their physical growth. She said that using a gym ball to practise balancing on knees etc sometimes helped. I realise this might not be relevant but if your son did decided to continue it might be something he could try over the summer to improve.
My sympathy to you and your son over the uni tutor's comments, it sounds a very harsh way to tell him especially if no hint had been given earlier. I hope he is OK. Another thing is that lots of people who study drama do not end up being actors but there are other associated jobs. eg one friend's son has never actually done any professional acting but now teaches drama.

FunderAnna · 18/05/2018 18:08

The most successful actor I know - a friend's son- is regularly onscreen doing stuff like riding and sword-fighting. I just can't imagine somebody who has poor physical co-ordination being a good actor. Because it's not just remembering the lines and saying them in the right sort of voice. It's something you do with your whole body.

The fact you also mentioned your son being dry and analytical is also a bit of red flag. I'm not saying that critical intelligence isn't useful as an actor. But my understanding is that to perform well you have to leave that detached questioning self behind....

I don't think being angry with the tutors is going to be helpful. Maybe it's more a question of what your son is best suited to doing. I do think being a good student is about learning to take criticism - however painful - and to make use of it.

Carolynnnna · 18/05/2018 18:10

I disagree that movement is an extremely important part of acting.

I don't think you find a single person in the business that would agree with you.

Original poster
Ladymacbethshandwash · 18/05/2018 18:10

I’m sorry by trying not to be identifying I’m confusing everyone. His degree is an acting degree, no dancing involved at all. But lots of movement, which he finds incredibly difficult.

OP posts:
dancinfeet · 18/05/2018 18:10

Carolynnna I meant more that basic dance classes would help him with his movement based acting. If he is being asked to mime different characters but all his characters are moving in exactly the same way because he hasn't the coordination to control or differ those movements?

Carolynnnna · 18/05/2018 18:10

you'll

SeventyNineBottlesOfWine · 18/05/2018 18:13

Carolynna
I don't think you find a single person in the business that would agree with you.

Well my son can't move well and is continuously cast in theatre productions by people in the business who are unconcerned with his lack of mobility but impressed with his talent.

JangoInTheFamilyWay · 18/05/2018 18:15

It sounds quite brutal to you and your son, but if he can't do something that is core to the course the alternative is for the tutors to let him carry on, spend a lot of money and still fail. It doesn't mean he won't find his niche in this general area, it just means this course isn't for him.

It is really useful for him to have the summer to think about this, if he is only at the end of his first year his local authority will still help with funding for a further 3 years. This means he could find another course that suits him better and do it. If he found out at Christmas having already paid part of next years fees, he would be well and truly screwed, unless you were able to fund it for him.

BootScootinBaby · 18/05/2018 18:15

A university programme is different to a theatre school programme is different to a production group programme.

Ruffian · 18/05/2018 18:18

Being a degree course might be part of the problem - perhaps it's too narrow, too proscribed to allow enough individuality? I can think of quite a few excellent comic actors who were tall and ungraceful - Stephen Fry, John Cleese, Martin Clunes, Stephen Merchant

Vangoghsear · 18/05/2018 18:21

I too thought of John Cleese and especially the Ministry of Silly Walks......