Am I being unreasonable to be angry with my son’s uni tutors?

[Ladymacbethshandwash]

My 18 year old son is coming to the end of his first year of a performing arts degree. Since he was a little boy he wanted to become an actor so this was the natural route for him to take.

He has struggled with certain aspects of the course, namely the movement side as he is 6 foot 3 and as graceful as bambi on ice. He has failed his two movement assessments and passed his acting assessments. Today at his end of year tutorial his tutors told him he will never make it as an actor. They bluntly destroyed his dreams and sent him on his way. My 18 year old son is away from home, distraught because in his opinion his dream is over, his life is finished. He won’t come home and he doesn’t want to speak to me. Why oh why could they have not been a little more careful about the language they used? I know I’m his Mum, so I am obviously biased but he does have something, he’s funny, confident, handsome and he does have acting ability. Unfortunately he doesn’t believe this now, he’s so low I don’t know what to do.

Strongmummy, not kicked off yet. It’s up to the exam board whether he can redo the assessments he failed. I think however, they’ve made it quite clear they don’t want him on the course. The movement element to the course isn’t dance, it’s pretending to be an animal or doing a sequence of movements. He is going to have to think about what he’s going to do moving forward but at the moment he feels he has no future, which is really hard to hear.

"who do they think plays characters who aren’t graceful?"

My understanding is that to pull off those parts you have to have a really good understanding of movement, so that you don't just look a bit "off" but you look totally ungainly, just as the actors/actresses who play roles with characters who sing really badly have to have really good singing voices, so they know exactly how to make their voice bad, because otherwise it will just sound a bit odd, instead of awful. But I'm not a pro, so I could be wrong.

If it's really 'his thing',Ladymacbeth then he will dust himself off, maybe take a bit of time out, get some experience in maybe an amateur dramatics production and try again with a bit more grit and determination.

I think everybody should have a back-up plan though, actors definitely for when they're 'resting'. Not everybody makes it young and not everybody becomes famous, but the opportunities are out there if he really wants it that badly.

What feedback did he get? Can he get more details and perhaps a bit of guidance in terms of breaking into this again later on if not now?

I'm sorry for his disappointment; I'm sure his tutors are too.

How about he applies to acting achool rather than a uni? He'll probaby get better tuition and more encouragement. They're hard work though, he'll have to look into himself in ways he never imagined but he'll get a more rounded learning experience.

Have they stated exactly the issue or just ability? Is it a good uni? Is a performing art degree too broad?

Tell him to keep trying OP

How does he feel about the movement element? I'll be honest, I inwardly cringe at the thought of having to pretend to be an animal as a lesson, so I know I'm not suited to it, right here on the sofa. Did he expect that? Does it excite him, or make him uncomfortable? Did he just not get it, or was it technically difficult for him because he was ungainly?

Look, to make it as an actor he will need talent, acquired skills and luck.

They are saying he doesn't have the skills to pass a performing arts degree course.

He doesn't need a degree course to be an actor.

But if this is not the right course for him, then it would be madness to spend the money on another 2 years.

The thing is, he’s been acting since he was 10, attending auditions, getting recall after recall, getting down to the final cut and then being rejected so he is resilient, he’s had to be. Even applying to uni came with rejections so it’s not a case of him being over sensitive. If I’m honest I would have preferred him to do something else, he got excellent grades at A level and could have done anything. But acting has always been his dream and I would never stand in the way of that.

If he passes the year, could he move to a different uni for an acting course. Some will allow transfer and give credits for the year he passed. I used to tutor dyslexic uni students doing theatre studies and the course content was different to that which you describe.I used to work in a uni and a couple of my tutorial students did that. Keep talking to your son and let him know you have faith in him, whatever he decides to do. Good luck.

The poor lad, one of my friends DDs has just got in to drama school and that was hard enough, so he has done well to get there at all. However, given how competitive acting is, you don't really want to pursue it if you are failing first year - only a couple of kids from his course will have successful acting careers. I know a drama teacher who struggled as an actor for years before admitting defeat and now claims he wishes people had been honest with him, so perhaps they think it is a "cruel to be kind," approach and have forgotten what being 18 feels like.

A lot of actors don't have performing arts degrees, but English Literature with amateur experience (e.g. Footlights) - would he think about changing to that sort of course, to keep his career options more open and to make acting more enjoyable again.

They are recruiting students for the summer jobs at the Edinburgh fringe just now, so it might be a good way for him to spend August. He would also make friends and see how hard it is, perhaps find a niche, have something to look forward to?

Lougle, it’s both he is incredibly ungainly, all arms, legs and size 13 feet! He also finds certain things really cringey, he’s quite dry and analytical so he has questioned some aspects of the course. He’s not jazz hands at all and physically he’s been described as being like Lee Evans.

Movement is a key component of actor's training nowadays.

His choices are to make every effort to improve in this area - more private training, join a dance class etc - so that he can pass the assessments or to leave this course and look for a different daram school (not a degree course) which will concentrate on other aspects/where the movement is not so integral to the course.

There will be drama schools that will place less emphasis on movement, and there will be establishments that place a lot of emphasis on it. Perhaps he is just in the wrong place?

Where did he apply to and where else was he considering? Why did he end up on this particular course?

There are 2 elements here in my view.

1. being of sufficient standard to pass the course
2. being a commercially successfully actor.

The two do not necessarily go hand in hand. I have read of many an actor who failed to get into acting school or university only to find themselves commercially successful at a later date.
If he is not performing sufficiently to pass the course this will be the uni tutors concern which they have raised giving your son the chance to step up or re-think his uni career.

he is resilient, he’s had to be

If that's the case, OP, then he will get over this and bounce back quite quickly.

I guess the decision he needs to make now is whether or not to heed the advice and pursue a different path or strengthen his resolve and work even harder at the acting. There is no right or wrong choice in this situation - ultimately, it depends on how much he wants it.

They don't always get it right!

Harrison Ford, Clark Gable, Meryl Streep and others were all told they wouldn't make it as actors.

They proved them wrong!

Good luck to your son.

YABU he's 18

...What do you even mean by that^? 18yo people have emotions you know.

@neighbourhoodwitch

God, there are ways of saying things. so insensitive. only some idiot's opinion...

His tutor is only 'some idiot'? Actually, having re-read the OP, it was 'tutors not just one.

It's a very hard thing to hear, but better to hear it now rather than in three years time.

I wonder what this means... he’s quite dry and analytical so he has questioned some aspects of the course.

Surely there are all sorts of acting courses that he could go on, rather than a performing arts degree? Wouldn't it be a bit more positive to start looking into that rather than declaring defeat?

www.google.com/search?q=acting+course+uk&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-b

That must have been incredibly tough for him (and you) to hear. From the way you've described him, he sounds awesome! I'm picturing a sort of male Miranda Hart. Hopefully he will bounce back and find ways to use his physicality to his advantage.

Not being open to the batshit things they ask you to do in acting training is a problem, really. So if he's "dry and analytical and questions aspects of the course" and is also failing movement assessments it sounds like he's in the wrong place.

Not all actors are touchy-feely, over-emotional jazz-hands types. But there is usually a willingness to approach things openly, to get outside your comfort zone to truly access the creativity you need. So if he's not enjoying it, and the tutors can see that, then soft-soaping him would not have been helpful.

A degree costs a lot of money. Acting is usually poorly paid. If your DS wants to act, he needs to make sure he is getting into debt in the right establishment that will support him.

Unimaginative, they also sent him an email which he sent to me in which they stated that due to his ability he should seriously reconsider his place on the course.

But advising him that he’s unlikely to succeed on the course he’s taking and he should perhaps reconsider is not the same as ‘you’ll never make it as an actor’.

When a student is failing and really struggling in a large part of a course, then responsible tutors will raise the issue of whether it might be the wrong course for a student.

It may well be that this course is not right for him, and he’d be better pursuing a different path.

Thanks spider, he is very funny and I wish I could post a video of him doing a stand up comedy routine at a recent open mic night, but it would be too identifying.

I don’t disagree with any of you, he does have a lot to think about. My suggestion was he takes a year out, attends auditions and then if it doesn’t pan out do something completely different.

Teaching someone how to be an actor or how to be a writer or a painter is an impossible task. They simply cannot know if he ll make it or not. There are so many great actors that didn't learn drama in school it is a talent, you have to be born with it. And there are many great artists that weren't recognized by their teachers or peers.

@juliastone

Teaching someone how to be an actor or how to be a writer or a painter is an impossible task.

It really isn't, and there's no point in saying that.