To call MIL and say actually no dh cant help you tomorrow?

[NapQueen]

Mils friend is moving into hers at some point, I assume over this weekend. Dh has text this morning to say he is helping mil and her friend move friends sofa to mils house tomorrow and will be collected at 9
45am.

Couple of issues with this, side from the fact it presumes I am ok with then having the kids (3 & 6) while he does it.

Tomorrow is my birthday. A couple of months ago I asked dh if he would entertain ds (3) out somewhere from 10ish to 2ish so I could have a couple of girlfriends round to watch the royal wedding. I have a 6yo dd who wants to watch it and a friend is bringing her dd (6) too.

Ds is 3 and couldnt give a hoot, nor could dh, about the wedding. Dh is very hands on always taking the kids places like I do, and has been thinking what to do just him and ds. Ive checked sporadically that he is still ok with the plan. We will have breakfast together as a family for my birthday and i will spend time with ds tomorrow afternoon after the wedding is over.

So now dh is going back on his commitment to me to go and help move furniture. At the exact time we have plans. Why not saturday afternoon? Sunday? Why not ask me if its ok to change our plans? Why present it to me as a done deal?

I know he isnt planning on taking ds (not that that would be a sensible idea whilst heavy furniture is being carted about) as mil is collecting him, rather than him going in our car.

I text back immediatley asking what was happening with ds no reply. Quickly rang and no reply. He is now at work until lunchbreak with no access to his phone and i am fuming.

Had he not been able or prepared to take ds out I would have made alternative plans!

Christ alive, the amount of vitriol OP is getting is unbelievable. Some people clearly need to improve their reading comprehension skills (or quit taking their own frustrations out on strangers on the internet). She was not making a drama, and didn't 'tell off' her MIL. It's perfectly reasonable to expect her husband to stick to his promise to ensure her DS is absent so she can enjoy some adult time with her friends on her birthday.

Well dh is adamant he has done nothing wrong. "I cancelled my plans with my mum to make you happy. Why arent you happy?"

Because you never should have done it without giving me the courtesy of asking me.

No, Bear, I'm not buying it.

Yes people state different opinions. You've been jumping on anybody whose opinion is not the same as yours right through this thread.

I saw how many posts you'd made doing that because your first reply to me was the "dear god" one, and I checked back to see if it was your post I'd quoted and replied to.

It wasn't, I was quoting someone else. You jumped on me the same way you've been jumping on a lot of other people. I wasn't even aware for you up to that point but thats when I noticed just how many other comments you'd made.

And you can talk all you like about discussion forums, you've not been up for a discussion or let anyone else state an opinion that you haven't liked without telling them why you think they are wrong.

You've been all over people for saying the OP wouldn't have been wrong to call her MIL in their opinion, and I don't know what you think the word "discussion" means but it's not "dear god some people are hard work" and then all the smirking from you that came with it.

You were having a go, I've given you back the same shit you've given out, and now you're complaining that you're the one being goaded, as though I've just come along and picked on you out of the blue, and not the other way around.

@NapQueen I'm sorry for the way this has derailled your thread a bit. And I'm sorry your DH can't understand what the issue was, hopefully he'll have a think about it and realise why he was wrong to change your plans without asking. Again, I think there would have been nothing wrong with you changing them back to the original arrangement if need be.

Did he forget that you'd made plans when he said yes to his mum?

I agree that it would have been nicer if he had remembered & you hadn't had to remind him.

And he hasn't cancelled his plans to make you happy-he's cancelled because he shouldn't have made them in the first place!

Jeez man-you fucked up-apologise!

It really doesn't matter what you 'buy' or not hygge, I commented that your post was hard work when you started exaggerating the situation with gems such as the DH was ignoring her etc.

He's a bloody teacher / lecturer and had a brief period when he'd was unavailable that was going to last about 3 hours max.

At the end of the day you think one thing, I think another.

The fact is the OP thinks one thing and her husband thinks another.

You and I don't even know each other but this is the OPs marriage.

A discussion thread is all about people stating their opinions and others countering their views

I fully expect you to carry on ranting as you've clearly taken umbridge with me and can't let it go but just try and remember, I'm the one downplaying what, in isolation is a non-event.

You're the one stirring this up to be a massive issue when it's really not.

Have a look around MN, some people really do have problems- this is not one of them.

Bearbehind. You are the one not letting go

You need to grow up!

YANBU

Whatever you need to believe Bear

You've had a go for no reason, you got called out, now you're playing the victim, and you're massively over-invested in this 'non-event' as you put it. I think you need to be the one to let this go, and perhaps not stick the boot in next time if you can't handle the replies.

I wouldn't contact MIL as this could cause issues. I would speak with your husband and remind him it's your birthday, you already made plans and he agreed and ask him to rearrange with his mum. It's short notice them asking. See what he says. Speak to him.

As I predicted, you still need to keep this going don't you hygee.

I can handle what ever replies I get, it's part of the discussion.

I'm not playing the victim at all. I'm just responding to comments.

You were the one who posted a massively over dramatised version of events.

Clearly drama is your forte.

As you predicted

You've kept this going longer than the energiser bunny.

Bear, Hygge I think you two need some time in this.

but I'm on your side OP.

I think that means I should get time in this instead.

I might be able to stretch to this

Okay I'll take that and a slice of birthday cake and call it done.

You'll have to let us know how your wedding watch party goes now it's back on track.

DS said earlier that the best bit about the whole thing is that Mr Kipling is doing the white French Fancies again and we normally have to wait until Christmas for them. He also seems to think that Prince Harry is marrying Miss Marple so he's fully expecting a murder to be solved at the alter.

Fucks sake @Hygge and @bearbehind
Get a room and sort it out will you?

It's crazy how some posters can create a bunfight about nothing on here. It does make me chuckle though.

Shhh @gingergenius, we'd been quiet for hours before you said that.

Now we're getting notifications to say we've been mentioned and @NapQueen will make us wear that shirt.

@mrsterrypratchett has it spot on with the list!

Happy birthday op!

Honestly, some of these comments though. People really are complete tits sometimes.

Of course you’re not in the wrong for being annoyed at this. You made plans, regardless of what they were, and now they are being jeopardised because your husband doesn’t feel that they are important enough. I’m sure it’s not intentional on his part, but I would feel disrespected and majorly pissed off tbh.

YANBU. And I hope you had a lovely birthday!

@Hygge sorry!

shhhhh! It's been days!