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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call MIL and say actually no dh cant help you tomorrow?

275 replies

NapQueen · 18/05/2018 08:54

Mils friend is moving into hers at some point, I assume over this weekend. Dh has text this morning to say he is helping mil and her friend move friends sofa to mils house tomorrow and will be collected at 9
45am.

Couple of issues with this, side from the fact it presumes I am ok with then having the kids (3 & 6) while he does it.

Tomorrow is my birthday. A couple of months ago I asked dh if he would entertain ds (3) out somewhere from 10ish to 2ish so I could have a couple of girlfriends round to watch the royal wedding. I have a 6yo dd who wants to watch it and a friend is bringing her dd (6) too.

Ds is 3 and couldnt give a hoot, nor could dh, about the wedding. Dh is very hands on always taking the kids places like I do, and has been thinking what to do just him and ds. Ive checked sporadically that he is still ok with the plan. We will have breakfast together as a family for my birthday and i will spend time with ds tomorrow afternoon after the wedding is over.

So now dh is going back on his commitment to me to go and help move furniture. At the exact time we have plans. Why not saturday afternoon? Sunday? Why not ask me if its ok to change our plans? Why present it to me as a done deal?

I know he isnt planning on taking ds (not that that would be a sensible idea whilst heavy furniture is being carted about) as mil is collecting him, rather than him going in our car.

I text back immediatley asking what was happening with ds no reply. Quickly rang and no reply. He is now at work until lunchbreak with no access to his phone and i am fuming.

Had he not been able or prepared to take ds out I would have made alternative plans!

OP posts:
Original poster
NapQueen · 18/05/2018 15:45

I know Terry put me in the stocks!

OP posts:
RadioGaGoo · 18/05/2018 15:49

My MN card bingo card is filling up nicely here!

Grow up
Drama
Poor block (of course!)
Precious
Cow
You sound.... stressed/pain in the arse
Highly strung
The attempt at a role reversal scenario

Extra points for the multiple posts from a single poster telling the OP and others, they are over reacting. Multiple posts. Ahem.

Have a great birthday OP Grin

RadioGaGoo · 18/05/2018 15:50

Poor block! I'm mean bloke of course.... I think.

Treaclepie19 · 18/05/2018 15:51

A4710Rider
It'd be impossible to ring my MIL but no I wouldn't have. I'd just have expected DH to make it up to me Grin

Hygge · 18/05/2018 15:51

@crispysausagerolls Grin I'd say thank you but I need to keep my own posts on this thread down to single figures now, so I was never here okay? Wink

bearbehind · 18/05/2018 15:55

Anyone would think this was a discussion forum, you know for discussing things and reacting to others responses.

MN posters can be a weird bunch sometimes Hmm

Hygge · 18/05/2018 16:03

Does the pub have free wi-fi?

bearbehind · 18/05/2018 16:09

Do you have to be such a GF hygge Hmm

Hygge · 18/05/2018 16:15

Apparently so. But allow me to refer you back to most of your own GF posts on this thread at this point too.

MrsJayy · 18/05/2018 16:15

Extra points for the multiple posts from a single poster telling the OP and others, they are over reacting. Multiple posts. Ahem

I would never do such a thing Blush Grin

RadioGaGoo · 18/05/2018 16:15

You are not a GF Hygge.

bearbehind · 18/05/2018 16:17

My posts weren't goady, they were simply pointing out another viewpoint.

You are just winding me up for the sake of it now.

By far the rudest and worst behaved people on here have been those defending the OP.

Calling people cunts, twats, telling them to fuck off,

Having said that, if you think it's worth making such a fuss about something so minor, it's to be expected that just discussing it will lead to all sorts of drama too.

AlReef · 18/05/2018 16:25

A lit of people here who still live in the olden days thinking men are too dumb to take responsibility and how stupid of us women to expect our DHs to parent their child for a few hours. Enough of the women bashing. OP have a great birthday!

Ceecee18 · 18/05/2018 16:30

I don't get why OP calling her MIL would be such a problem? She can't get hold of her DH to say that he's double booked himself, it'll be hours before she can and by then MIL may have made more arrangements around this. Surely it's just a quick chat to say he's double booked can we move times or can you have DS there as well? That way MIL knows as soon as possible and can rearrange. Surely that's better than waiting until later in the day? It's not like OP was going to go screaming at her MIL, she wasn't blaming her.

RadioGaGoo · 18/05/2018 16:40

I find calling people 'hard work' to be rather goady bearbehind.

RhiWrites · 18/05/2018 16:47

The issue at hand was that, even after having previously agreed to take the 3 year old out so the OP could take time off from active parenting to enjoy her birthday treat, the husband assumed he could delay that to help out MIL’s friend.

OP is not unreasonable in feeling aggrieved to have her birthday plans treated so casually.

And a 3 year old would be disruptive to an afternoon of royal wedding watching. There’s no way they wouldn’t.

Hygge · 18/05/2018 16:57

Bear you have been the cause of most of the drama, and as for you not being goady, I think the expression is that you can give it but appearently not take it.

You pointed out your other "viewpoint" over and over and over again, to anybody who wasn't falling over themselves to agree with you, with your 'dear gods' and your 'hard works' and the like, you yourself said you were only doing it because you had nothing better to do which sounds goady enough to me, then you flounced and said you were out of the thread completely but bounced back quicker than Tigger on speed to play the injured party.

Enjoy the pub.

Hygge · 18/05/2018 16:58

@RadioGaGoo thank you.

@MrsTerryPratchett I completely agree.

Andylion · 18/05/2018 16:59

@NapQueen, YANBU.

Happy Birthday!

YouTheCat · 18/05/2018 17:03

I agree with Mrs TP.

bearbehind · 18/05/2018 17:09

I'm not sure where I've goaded anyone hygge, unlike you who's just poking me with a stick for a laugh now.

People clearly have differing opinions. Stating those opinions is kind of the purpose of a chat forum.

I'm just astounded that trivial matters like this wind people up to the extent their first reaction is to call the MIL rather than speak to their husband in a couple of hours.

bearbehind · 18/05/2018 17:13

I do now see what you mean about my 'nothing better to do' comment.

That was not intended to be goady, it was just stating I had time to reply and engage in the discussions, following your critiism of the number of posts I've made, not I was just doing it for a laugh.

Mrsbird311 · 18/05/2018 17:31

I don’t think you are over reacting, would he want your bored six year old around if he was going football with his mates? No!!
It’s your birthday and you’ve arranged a lovely morning with your friends watching the wedding, I’m doing something very similar and wouldn’t want my bored son there, it might not be everyone’s idea of a birthday treat but I think it’s lovely, he’s an inconsiderate git!!!

gingergenius · 18/05/2018 18:17

Bunch of 'mean girls' on here. It's not ok for someone to arbitrarily change plans. Op hats of to you for ignoring some of the vitriol on here! YANBU

Original poster
NapQueen · 18/05/2018 18:40

Dh home from work and no real words spoken. Bit of civil chit chat. Im out at swimming lessons with dc now so no idea if he has plans to discuss this after the dc are in bed - I do. Id like to clear the air.

OP posts:
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