To think getting your hair & make up done professionally for a funeral is weird?

[SingleTakenOliviaBenson]

That basically. My friend's mum's funeral is today and a hairdresser and a makeup artist have just shown up to do her up. She's not well off by any stretch (on benefits, council house), doesn't bother with hair and makeup normally. I'm looking after her 2 DS, getting them breakfast and ready for nursery whilst trying to get ready myself for the funeral.

So AIBU to think this is a little weird?

Super weird. Weirder still if she poses for photos

YABU. It was her Mum, let her grieve how she wants to and stop sniping.

It's unusual for sure, but whatever helps her get through...

I think it's weird to judge someone on the morning of their mums funeral.

Maybe she doesn't have the energy to make herself look decent?
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You know what's really U and weird? Judging someone you profess to care about who is grieving for a parent.

Grief is weird. We have these rigid stereotyped ideas about how people "should" grieve that bear no resemblance to reality, and which cause enormous damage.

Er, are you sure it’s not her Mum, it’s usually for the corpse.

I think it’s really nice she wants to be well turned out for her Mum. And there’s no rule people who don’t normally bother are never allowed to dress up.

It's the last time she goes out 'with' her mum. She can wear what the fuck she likes and spend hours grooming, if that's what she wants to do.

I also think it's a little weird, but people do weird things whilst grieving so it's probably not the weirdest thing out there.

Ffs it's her mum! Let her do what she needs to do to help her grieve. She might see it as making special effort to look good for her mum. YABU

She’s preparing herself for all the judgemental women who will be there, gossiping and grading the effort put into the funeral, and her appearance. So back her up, if you are her friend.

It’s not something I’ve ever heard of anyone doing. But I know that some people love having their hair and make up done (I don’t care about that stuff personally) so maybe she’s booked to have it done to make herself feel a bit better? Maybe she feels her mother would like to know she was nicely turned out for her funeral and she’s not very confident doing her own hair and make up especially when feeling emotional and not herself given that her mother has just died?

Your post comes off sounding quite mean tbh OP.

Many people see the funeral as the final thing they have to do for their loved one. She wants to look nice for her mum.

What's weird is bitching on MN about an identifiable situation when your friend is going through such a shitty time.

It really doesn't matter what you think. She's lost her Mum and can do this if she wants. Maybe it makes her feel better.

Yabu.
Ok admittedly it's not something you hear every day, but I feel today she can do what the hell she needs to do to get through probably one of the worst days of her life.

My friend had her hair done for her father's funeral. Herself and her sister were quite "done up".
I thought it was unusual but they just wanted to look nice

Mum made us all dress up for dad's funeral. It looked more like a garden party. She wanted everything to look nice and be prefect. It's how she coped

Poor woman, it’s probably just her way of giving her mum a good send off. Tell her she looks great and her mum would be proud of her.

Usually on aibu you become accustomed to unnecessary bitching but, holy shit op, this is breathtakingly unkind.

Some 'supportive' friend who starts a thread like this whilst preparing for a funeral. What on Earth has her being on benefits got to do with it.

Hope she has some better friends than you.

You're bitching about your friend who's mums funeral is today? Seriously?
Maybe having her make up done makes her feel better and more able to face it?

I lost my DF & DSis at the same time last year, both funerals I was so busy rushing tying up loose ends I hardly had time to slap some mascara on (and I put a lot of effort into my appearance).

Also to clarify, she had been estranged from her mother for the past 6 years and hasn't spoken to her at all in that time. She's currently taking selfies and putting them on Facebook. Idc really if this comes across as mean/bitchy, I've told her I've posted this as she thinks she should treat herself??

You're still bitching op. Why does it matter? If you don't want to help with her kids then you should have said so, then she could have asked someone else that might not have sat complaining about her on the internet.

You're not much of a friend.....

It's a horribly huge day, perhaps made slightly more bearable by the fact at least she will look nice throughout. Poor her, with her "friend" sniping at her online on such a terrible morning. Get off mumsnet, make her a cup of tea, tell her she looks great, and like one poster said, that her mum would be proud. What are you insinuating anyway, that somehow this is a cause for celebration/she's going to make the day all about her? What a bizarre and horrible line of thought. I can only presume you are feeling overwhelmed too to post this on an internet forum.