To think getting your hair & make up done professionally for a funeral is weird?

[SingleTakenOliviaBenson]

That basically. My friend's mum's funeral is today and a hairdresser and a makeup artist have just shown up to do her up. She's not well off by any stretch (on benefits, council house), doesn't bother with hair and makeup normally. I'm looking after her 2 DS, getting them breakfast and ready for nursery whilst trying to get ready myself for the funeral.

So AIBU to think this is a little weird?

Why does it bother you so much? Fuck all to do with you tbh

So what if she's been estranged from her mother?

You clearly have no understanding of the difficult emotions that that can raise in itself.

So what if you dealt with your situation differently? Give yourself a pat on the back why don't you.

I am rarely shocked by what I read on here but I am gobsmacked that you can be so unkind and lacking in compassion. I'm glad you're not my 'friend'

It's unusual but I expect she just wants to look her best for what is a sad day for her. There is a new 'thing' for photographs or even videos of funerals now as it gives family something tangible, rather than just memories of the event. It's not my cup of tea but if it helps people to cope, etc.

Shameful for you to treat your friend this way.

Well I was going to come and say that I hope your poor friend doesn't somehow find this post...but you have allegedly taken care of that yourself.

She's grieving. If it makes her feel better, it's not weird.

You're no friend OP.

Well I am going to My Mum's funeral next week and will probably have my hair done as I would like it neat and in an up do (Mums favourite style when she was young too) and I cant do it myself. I want to look my absolute best for the last time we will be together. If you want to have a pop at me ...bring it on!!

"Idc really if this comes across as mean/bitchy, I've told her I've posted this as she thinks she should treat herself??"

I am amazed that she has actually left her children with you. Her judgement must be off today.

Bitching about your friend like this when she is mourning her mother?

Wow, some friend you are, i'd hate it if my friends spoke about me like this, your post reminds me of why i keep people at arms length.

I don't think it's weird. People grieve differently.
I remember DSIL having her hair done and having a personal shopper help her choose something to wear for DBIL's funeral. I think it was a combination of not having any energy to think about those choices herself and wanting to look her best for the last time she would be with him. Different cultures and traditions have their own rituals around funerals too.

It's odd but I can see why she would do it. She will be seeing lots of people and wants to look her best.

After my dad died I had lash extensions fitted as I wanted to look nice at a busy time without having to worry about runny mascara eyes. Sadly it backfired, I had a bad reaction to the adhesive (I had often had them before with no problems). It necessitated an emergency trip to the salon to have them removed and turning up at the funeral with no mascara at all and very sore pink eyes.

footballcrazy sorry for your loss

I don't think it's that weird. It's one less thing for her to think about doing for herself, and maybe it will give her some security to know she looks put together on a difficult day when lots of people will be watching her.

I think YABVU to be writing judgmental MN threads about your friend on the day of her mum's funeral - no excuse for that. And no drip fed details about their estrangement will make it better.

Are you always this fucking unpleasant? If so, I'm amazed you have any friends at all.

Hey, op's friend - if you're reading this, all of us on here think the fact you're getting your hair and makeup done is completely normal. Hope you're pleased with the results.

What @MargaretCavendish said. When you are NC with someone, the whole complexity of grief becomes even more complicated.

Honestly, OP, give yourself a good shake. I'm as judgemental as fuck by MN standards, and even I wouldn't think this, let alone make a thread about it

Your 'friend' is burying her Mum today and you are posting about her on Facebook??? Wtf sort of person are you?

I would definitely want to get my hair done professionally for a funeral, I’d also wear something smart and if I didn’t have anything suitable I’d go and buy something. I see making the effort to be well presented as a mark of respect to the deceased and their family.

I dont see anything wrong with having your hair done.
I probably wouldn't bother having makeup done professionally, but like you said, she doesn't normally bother with it so maybe she doesn't know how to apply it and wants to look nice.

I looked like rolled up shit at my own mums funeral so maybe she's got the right idea.

You are bitching about your friend I don't get it you are kind enough to watch her kids but bitching about her online, you know what this might help your friend make it through the day.

Ah OP.

Mumsnet will not allow you to think something is odd or strange, much less express an opinion about it!

I do wonder if all these “how dare you judge or find something weird” folk never think things are strange or odd in their own lives

I do think it’s a bit strange OP but that’s because I once had a funeral and a wedding on the same day and had to get my hair done in the morning for the wedding, attend the funeral with my hair all done really fancy (cringe!) then attend the wedding in the afternoon. I missed the service but made the meal.

And I did get some strange looks!!

What a nasty, horrible person you are. Perhaps, of you hate her so much, you should have declined to look after her children. And I can't believe you have the audacity to actually tell the poor woman that you're posting about her. I have a few choice words for what I think of you but I'll just let you imagine them...

Also what does her being on benefits and living in a council house have to do with anything?

Mumsnet will not allow you to think something is odd or strange, much less express an opinion about it!

I don't think it's just Mumsnet that thinks you don't have a pop at people on the day of their mother's funeral. I think that's a general 'bare minimum standards for a human being' thing.