AIBU to want at least 4 kids?

[MrsCD67]

How many do you have and what are the age gaps like? Would you want more and why?

We have three:
girl/boy/girl - which is my ideal combo
12/10/7 - I find these age gaps work really well

I had three by IVF, and would have liked to have 4, but the funny thing is that wanting the fourth didn't really happen until it was too late ...I remember thinking I couldn't possibly cope with 4 when I had the three under 6, and relieved up until they were 10, and then a bit regretful until they were 16 (the youngest I mean) and then it hits you, I want another and it is too late!!!

So, warning, if you possibly possibly want another, you will probably cope even if you think you won't, but if you don't have the fourth, you will never ever know...(or the second or the third) There's no harm in trying.

Still, 3 is absolutely lovely and I'm very blessed to have 3, as dh is always telling me. I think men are quite reluctant to have more than 3, they can colour our approach. I think that men think in terms of all the trouble and women can sometimes just be very broody, despite all reason suggesting that you don't need more.

14 months between #1 & #2
19 years between #2 & #3

My gap is 18 /16/16

DD 15
Twin boys 13

I only wanted 2. I find 3 kids a nightmare but it could be the twin dynamic.

I don't understand why this is AIBU? This kind of thread grinds my gears.

forgot to add... was quite impressed with myself to go up to No3, I always thought my limit was two. It has been working very well up until recently, the three of them were the best of friends, but finding it hard work now that my eldest is a pre-teen

YearOfYouRemember

Monkey having lots of teens is surprisingly fun/streamlined, but quite noisy! At least they all have much the same interests and tease each other out of selfishness...

I had 4 by accident, only 3 were planned. I cried a river when I found out I was having baby 4 but as my older 2 are 12 and 9 and really well behaved and the younger 2 are 2 and 4 months it doesn’t really ‘feel’ like 4. Just like, ‘doing it all over again’ instead but with more help so it’s ok.

Would never ever want another, 3 was really my limit.

Savageyes twin dynamic at that age was not so good, but it has much improved over last two years, amazing really, they are best of friends now, or at least worthy rivals!

DD 21
DS 19
DD 4
DD Due Aug

We said we wanted 4, ideally 2 girls then 2 boys.

We've got 3 aged 11, 9, 6. 2 girls then a boy.
That's enough for us. They're all great just the way they are, a 4th would change the dynamics massively.

If we'd stopped at 2 I would always have wondered ' what if '. But I'm definitely done at 3, our family feels complete.

greenlavender

It's an AIBU all right!

OP YABVVVVVVU because overpopulation and all reached issues.

Are you loaded? don't be one of those people complaining that there's too much competition for jobs etc.

We were aiming for three but got four due to number three bring identical twins. Due to them being three months early I had four under five which was manic.

I always thought I wanted 4. Then I had 3 and definitely don't want any more! They are 10, 8 and 4. Two boys and a girl. They all love each other and play well and fight too!!

Im pregnant with my first now i like the idea of 3 though with about 3yrs age gap so they can have things in common and play together etc ive seen kids with more than a 3yr age gap and they just annoy eachother and fail to relate

*related issues

Also have you had 1 yet?

I have a DD who is nearly 22 and a DS who is 20. Would love love LOVE another before I am too old but can’t see it happening

I always wanted 4 but after having 1 was less sure. Because of that I spaced 1 & 2 more so than if I was sticking with 2 (2 yrs 10 months). Found the jump from 1-2 hard & DC2 is much harder (plus difficult pregnancy) so 4 is out of the question. Still debating re DC3 but plan to decide in the next 6 months.

I wanted at least 5 or 6. I had 3, and was told I would be putting my life at risk with DS3, who was healthy, so didn't try again. I still think if my health had held out, I would have had more than 3.

I am pregnant with dc3. I will have 3 under 3 and am done! I always wanted 3 and 3 is what i hopefully will have.
Sometimes i think maybe 4 would be nice but we honestly couldn't afford it and im not sure i can be spread any more thinly!

DD1 - 6
DD2 - 4

2 years 4 months between them.

It's the perfect age gap for us.

Do not want any more - reasons being:

Logistics - cars, family rooms and even silly things like board games are often designed for families of 4

Space - would have to have a bedroom for every child and houses here on the SE coast are expensive

Quality time - I sometimes worry I am spreading myself thinly with 2 children, dread to think what my feelings of guilt would be with any more children

Pregnancies and birth: Had pretty tough pregnancies with PGP, pre-eclampsia, severe sickness and PTSD after traumatic birth

Lack of sleep: Co slept with both DDs for several months whilst they breastfed on demand all night. DDs are now excellent sleepers and I couldn't go back to broken sleep

I have 3 - 5.5, 22mo, 5w. Age gaps are 4 years, 20 months (you can tell DC2 was easier than DC1!)
Feel much more done now, in a way I never have before. The family feels complete - before now it’s always felt like there was someone missing. I’m 99.9% sure DC3 is the last. The only reason I’m not 100% is that I’m only 28 so probably have 10-15 childbearing years left, and a lot can change in that time! Can’t see myself wanting to do it all again though. If we ever do end up having another it will be very much a bonus baby aka an accident !

i have 4, i wanted 1...
ages 19,14, 10 and 7.
all 4 have various diagnosis's of things, we have 2 asd, a selective mute, a dyspraxic, 2 developmental delay and a adhd. some have more than one of these.
none were diagnosed until after no4 was born, infact it all come to light due to thinking the youngest had a very rare condition and had a barrage of tests and delving into family history. even if i had know i think we would still have planned all 4.
dont worry no ones paying for ours, no tax credits or dla ect