AIBU to want at least 4 kids?

[MrsCD67]

How many do you have and what are the age gaps like? Would you want more and why?

I have 2 ... older teens now but had close together so they get on well ( still) and definately didn’t feel I wanted more as they were quite hard work ... and expensive(still)

Absolutely no problem! Provided you can afford it and aren't expecting the rest of us to pick up the cost.

I have two currently with a 12mth age gap, just found out I’m pregnant with #3 so looking down the barrel at three under 2yrs old, slightly shitting myself lol

1 and no I definitely don't want anymore.

1. too expensive
2. time consuming
3. tiredness
4. headaches

Lol. I love him to bits but I definitely don't want anymore children! I want to focus on just the one that I have got.

@Ohmydayslove 💕💕💕 Thank you for such a kind message. Interesting to hear your son's decision to stick with one (for now!)

@surferjet I agree. What it must take to give that much of your time/energy/dedication/headspace/patience/self to other little (and eventually big) people for a lifetime is something incredible and definitely not something all women are capable of. Myself included.

Lovely if you can afford it .

@corythatwas loved your post. Your mother sounds remarkable.

@formerbabe I agree with your point about personality & family size. I'm with you on the introverted side of things. While I love the idea of a bustling, noisy home & enjoying hearing about others', the reality would leave me frayed.

I have 4 and 10 grandchildren. Be careful what you wish for. I love them all, and wouldnt be without them but it has been s rough ride at times

Just 1. Plan on sticking with just 1. I adore him but we always only wanted 1. With childcare costs etc I would like 2. With 1, we will be able to afford private education if we decide to, and will be able to afford Uni etc
I also think it's a little irresponsible in this day and age to have lots of children.

Ive 4.
5
Nearly 4
2.5
4 months.

I always wanted 4. It’s been REALLY tough but that was hugely down to how ill i always am when pregnant....and I spent a LaoT of the last 5 yrs pregnant.

Seeing them together now, the little gang they’ve become. How they welcomed the baby and how perfectly gentle and loving they are with him (without exception) is a joy. We will be very busy making sure they all get lots of love, attention and support but I do think we’ve won the lotto.

I find it amusing that anybody still thinks that anybody else is 'picking up the cost' of other people's decision to have a large family.

You can't get additional benefits (if you are entitled to them) for more than two children. So actually its impossible for anybody to pay for large families other than the parents who choose to have one.

I’m not against anyone who wants to have more than two children but just to point out that those extra children that aren’t entitled to benefits, still need school places, medical care, may require emergency services etc

" I also think it's a little irresponsible in this day and age to have lots of children."

Nice bit of judgement there in your ivory tower.

I haven't once seen any large family parents judge those who stick at one. Can we not just accept and respect one another without the jabs?

DayKay, I can assure you that we can both afford our kids expenses and are paying huge levels of income tax that more than covers their use of resources such as schools and trips to the GP.

I do apologise for the extra rubbish and use of non-renewable resources they will use in their lifetime but maybe they will grow up to be scientists and policy makers working on environmental issues. Who knows.

I have more than 2 kids myself. I was just pointing out to the previous poster that just because there are no benefit payments, it doesn’t mean that there is no extra financial cost to society.

I have four. They are 9, 4, 2 and 7 months. Two boys and two girls. I had them all in my twenties.
They are hard work but I love having a big family. I won't be having anymore though and I'm sterilised now.

I had five with seven and half years from first to last. No twins.

We could afford them when we had them, then husband and I split up (he was abusive and it worsened once I had the children and gave up work).

Never have more kids than you can handle by yourself. You never know.

We have 5 aged 12, 10, 7 and 6 month twins (trying for four... unexpected results!).

As I have said I have 4 kids. Myself and DH have to work hard to afford them and pay lots of tax as a result. Yes we will use state primaries so that is a cost to the tax payer but I hope when my children complete school they will be working and paying tax themselves.

We don’t get any child benefit, tax credits etc etc so those judging people with more than 2 and assuming we are all scroungers should perhaps stop making assumptions! I know plenty of 2 children families that claim quite a lot in benefits - doesn’t mean I assume all 2 children families are lazy and cost tax payers in benefits.

Oh, and just before anyone asks....we walk to school and back, my husband and I both work, the babies are breastfed and in cotton nappies, we are mostly a vegetarian household and I have been on a plane once in the last 15 years. Carbon footprint and societal cost reasonably constrained there I think.

Have 3, aged 8, 8 and 2. I want another (so may youngest has one of similar age when older ones are late teens) but I suspect DP would rather tie a knot in the end of it than have any more (DD3 was his first - and he is still in a state of shock!)
That and the lack of bedrooms and storage space....!

I have none. It's a perfect number and no, I don't want any more than that.

I have 2, age gap is 2 years and I am definitely done.