AIBU to want at least 4 kids?

[MrsCD67]

How many do you have and what are the age gaps like? Would you want more and why?

Thanks Flesh. Six is a nice number and its nice to have two close together

Just one here also, I also couldn’t imagine what four would be like, once DS had grown out of baby stuff I got rid of it, I knew I only wanted one.

How many people (perhaps let's just ask people with 0, 1, or 2 children!) think that more than 2 kids is possibly irresponsible?

How many people with 0,1, or 2 kids believe that parents of more than 2 generally don't parent as effectively as they would if they had 2 or fewer?

Two is enough for me 12 minute age gap. Boy and girl for me aged 8. personally can't imagine having to go through the baby strange again

I have 4. They are 14, 11, 9, 7.
They get more and more expensive.
I love them dearly, but sometimes they are utterly overwhelming. Secretly, I would like 5.

ThatWasThat

I agree it's irresponsible to have more than 2 children.

I don't agree people with more than 2 children don't parent as well. Some people probably don't cope well with 4 kids and would do better with just 2, but nobody here would admit that would they? Some people might parent miles better with 5 kids than someone with 1 kid? It's about the individual, really.

"personally can't imagine having to go through the baby strange again"

Best typo/Freudian slip ever

Well, if I had a third child now he or she would be like an only in many ways so no concerns re parenting

I wanted 4 (still do)

However a bout of cervical cancer, I also have ulcerative colitis and a couple of other health issues have made it impossible 🤷‍♀️

Such is life can’t complain about the two I have. Utterly adore them.

Instead I have 4 cats and if dh would let me another dog as well..,working on that one

"I don't agree people with more than 2 children don't parent as well."

Neither do I. I have a couple of friends with 4 children and I think they are excellent parents. For a start they have had more practice than me. Also in 21st century UK the choice to have a large family is an active one.

I have 6, 8 years between them. 3 of each, they are currently:
19,18,16,14,12 and 11. I would have had more but the money ran out!

I have 2, used to want more but in reality as they get older they need more and more attention and help, it's quite full on as it is helping both with their homework so they get individual attention, not to mention the chauffeuring around for all their clubs and lessons. How do people do that with 4, and still cook and ferry them about etc? Something would have to give, which seems a shame on the kids.

And then there's the house deposits and weddings, arrgh!!

I have 4. 12, 5, 3 and nearly 1. 2 of each.
Having 1 is so bloody easy. 2, no problem it's just 2. 3 nearly pushed me over the edge. Overnight we were just outnumbered. 4 is as easy as 1 with slightly more organisation. I have no idea why it seems easier even though there is more of them. We are strangely so much more relaxed and less stressed than when we had 3. I really found 3 tough going. We just love having 4. Watching them all together just genuinely makes me so happy. They do all sleep very well though so that really helps. Not all 4 were 'technically' planned but we have the space, the love, the money and the time.

Have 1 and want to start trying again for no.2.
I'd love 3 or 4

I wanted three. I’ve got three but they are all the same sex which I did not envisage. I’ve thought about trying for a fourth just in case we get a different flavour but it feels like three was always the right number for us so we are done.

It always put me off having another as they would have had to share a room.

I actually dated someone way back when who had to share a room with his brother, it was a shame. Kids grow up needing their own space/privacy from time to time and it only gets worse as they get older.

We have a huge house so no one shares a room. Life is very peaceful when you have this many. We also get to go out as much as we like in the evenings as we have built in sitters. We don't cook much as three of them love to cook.

Life is easier with 5 than for many with one . You always have to be playmate etc to one.

luper I think its easier with 4 too. I don't know why. Thankfully they all have their own bedrooms and bathrooms for when they are older. (girls will share one) My only rule is my living room is my living room. Absolutely no toys allowed in it. It's good to have a child free zone at night.

I have two. Twins
I always wanted 4, DH 2, hoping can compromise with 3 and try for one more :)

I have 3. They are 6, 4 and 7mo. DEFINITELY done, it's hard work and expensive. But I know I would have regretted not having DC3 until the day I die (I'm aware I'm lucky to have been able to). We've been incredibly lucky in that we conceived 4 times out of 5 months trying (1 early mc), but that now has the flip side of making me absolutely petrified of going anywhere near DP

We have 3 who are 6, 4 and 2. We are TTC #4.

The others it was an overwhelming urge to have them each time - I would have gone for fertility treatment, the works. #4 is more of an itch to scratch if you like, and definitely felt like more of an active "weighing up pros and cons", making lists type decision. Probably healthier in many ways than just listening to my (our?) biological clock, but we will definitely be done after 4.

Clearly, I don't think YABU to want 4 children but YWBU to pursue that life goal just for the sake of pursuing it. If you feel after one child you've had enough, it's ok to change your mind.

We have 4. They are 8, 5, 3 & 2. It’s hard work but also a lot of fun. No more thoug.

On the room sharing - I always shared when I was growing up until I was 16. I hated having my own room then! It was so much more fun sharing with my sisters. Mine share and we have spare rooms.

I'm the eldest of 4, and husband is the youngest of 4. We have completely different takes on what it's like to be part of a large family due to our birth position. All I remember is helping to look after the kids, having to share a cramped room, not being able to do my homework quietly without the youngest wrestling each other, and tbh feeling a bit like a circus when we went out.. DH on the other hand was quite happy with it! Funnily my youngest sibling is the only one with kids so far and has 4! You really need to think about whether you have the time, space and money for 4. I never really got any alone time with my mum because I was quiet and well behaved, and the others weren't always so!