AIBU to want at least 4 kids?

[MrsCD67]

How many do you have and what are the age gaps like? Would you want more and why?

Four - I would have liked six but time ran out.

All of you wanting large families ... have you seriously considered what it will be like when they are all teens? Teens are expensive, hormonal, bundles of angst. They worry the life out of you. Can you really go through that 4 or more times?

@mydogisthebest actually, we are very environmentally aware. We also live in CH where the current birth rate/pension pot is unsustainable and so they actually encourage larger families. We receive a lot of admiration wherever we go.

The kids are all well balanced, they don't ask for much or get gifts outside birthdays or Christmas (even then it's one present and a surprise, I run a tight ship!). We rarely use chemicals to clean, grow veg, second hand clothes/bikes etc, bake bread, used cloth nappies, don't jet off to far flung destinations but camp locally etc etc etc. Recycling is obligatory here. We raise our children to be careful about their consumption and our eldest is currently fascinated about toxins and how to minimize risk.

And we adore having a tribe. It's truly wonderful.

I wanted 3, had 3, now wish i'd stopped at 2!

Just had a week at home with just one of the four and it was awfully dull for us both.

Three is lovely. I have one 17, one 18, one 19 (one is adopted).

To be clear, I wasn't comparing the parenting of people with more kids to the parenting of OTHER people with fewer kids, I'm asking whether they do as good a job with more as THEY would personally with fewer.

I have 2.

5 and 2 (2 years 9 months apart).

I always wanted three but unlikely I will mostly due to bad births (though the last was apparently bad luck not likely to repeat itself).

I would foster or adopt but as myself and partner are severely VI we wouldn't pass.

speakout

That’s what you do!

Yes it was expensive but we could afford it. We wouldn’t have had 6 kids if we couldn’t afford to. Dh worked his arse off.

our last 2 are at uni as well but in their home town. So living at home. Their choice.

I have two DD’s. Would love more but sadly the fantasy is somewhat different to the reality

MidThread

Yes teenagers need careful management but it’s actuakky easier if you have more as the older siblings are around to help talk to their teenage siblings and are an invaluable go between.

To be honest I found toddlers far more challenging than teenage years although there are similarities

4 over here
DS22
DD14
DS11
DS3

I love having 4 even with the age gaps.

Midthreademergencynamechange All four of mine are grown up and I have grand children. The teenage years were fine. I had odd moments but it was harder when they were tiny.

I’ve got six.
DS1 is 19 years and 3 months old, DD1 is 14 years and 2 months old, DD2 is 12 years and 9 months old, DD3 is 5 years and 10 months old, DD4 is 2 years and 3 months old, and DD5 is 3 months old.

I grew up in a (very) big family and I loved it. DH also grew up in a big family and is very close to his siblings (but only DDs 1, 3, 4, and 5 are his - so he has 4 girls). I’m satisfied with the number we’re at now - I think our family is the perfect size! I always knew I wanted either 4, 6, or 8.

I have 5, with two still just about dependent.

I can't imagine why some people who choose not to care so much about my choices.

TheMonkeyMummy

Where’s CH sorry? Love your tribe expression that’s how we feel. We used to get lots of attention with our 6 and some strange questions like to my dh ‘are they all yours?’ He used to reply ‘I think so’

Always wanted 4. 3 has brought be very close to the edge and is more than enough.

We have 4 - 2 boys, 2 girls aged 15,12,11 & 8

I would have loved 6 but the logistics of ferrying that many around put me off.

We're lucky in that we both farm so I can plan my day round the kids and still do my work. Dd1 does national level gymnastics so everything is planned round her training schedule but the others get to do what they want. I spend most days from 2.30 til 9pm in the car driving hundreds of mile every month but they all get to their activities. Money is tight but we manage and I wouldn't have it any other way - love having a big family and it's getting easier as they get older and more independent.

I always wanted 4, but had second at 43 so that wasn't going to happen.
Still broody, but menopausal. But, my two are a daily joy.

The teenage years much easier with a bigger family. The younger ones have someone nearer their own age to guide them through.

As for parenting, no I am not a worse parent because of large family. Two through uni and working in good jobs, one at uni, one at school and will be going to uni too.

Over the years the house full with children, their friends and anyone else. There is always a spare place at meal table or spare bed for anyone and a debate going on about something.

I tried for a fourth and have had 3 miscarriages and now think I'm menopausal so have (just about) accepted it isn't going to happen.

I love being around my kids, they are an absolute joy. They are 10, 8 and 4 now, all boys, and play together for hours on end, interspersed with the odd fight!

The plan was to have 4, we ended up with 5

The eldest is 5 years old and the youngest two are 3 months.

I'm a middle child in a family of 4 children. Parents always had plenty of time for us. I think if anything they got better at it by parenting a wider range of personalities. As far as I remember our teens weren't terribly difficult.

(and the environmental question partly seen to by the fact that one of us was adopted)

I always thought I would have at least 2 children - my son was born and couldn't ever imagine loving/worshipping/ever having the huge amount of love that I felt for him for anyone else. Of course now I know that you can love children the same, but I definitely made a conscious choice not to have other children.

And I think I made the right decision. Yes, if you're financially able to provide for your children and can give them a loving home, I agree.

If you're receiving benefits and don't have the finances to provide for your children then no, you shouldn't have more children.

I have 4 girl 13, boy 12, girl 10 and girl 7. I aklways wanted 4 so when we got thwre we were finished. If id ever thought about having 5, the atrival of the whirlwind that is number 4 soon crushed that.
I love that they are cloee in age although the 3 years between dd2 and dd3 seems huge at times but closing as they get older.