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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To not want MiL to drink while babysitting

466 replies

PineappleRelish · 17/05/2018 17:57

My MiL looks after DD(2.5) once a week while I’m at work. She will send pictures to show what they’re up to, and I noticed in the most recent an empty bottle of wine and two glasses on the table. She was meeting her friend for lunch and they had a bottle between them, whilst she’s looking after her granddaughter.

One glass might be ok, I suppose, but half a bottle seems like a lot. When I mentioned it to DP, he said that it was ok because she drinks a lot normally so half a bottle isn’t a lot for her!

AIBU to be really cross that she’s had that much whilst in charge of my little one?

OP posts:
ICantCopeAnymore · 18/05/2018 18:33

Definitely Laurie Grin

But y'know - if you can't beat the twats on this thread, join em!

ReanimatedSGB · 18/05/2018 18:35

Seriously, why on earth does he bother with one can of beer a year? He clearly doesn't like it that much, or he'd be more inclined to have, you know, at least two a year (maybe one on his birthday, as well). Or is it a grudging concession he's won from you after half a decade of begging?

ICantCopeAnymore · 18/05/2018 18:39

From me? I have nothing to do with it. If he wants to drink, that's up to him.

He said he doesn't know. He feels it's the "done thing" and he doesn't like wine. He can't really explain.

He actually did do a beer tasting on his 40th, but he wasn't in charge of any children, so that was acceptable for him Wink

BakedBeans47 · 18/05/2018 18:41

No, he doesn't get drunk and annoying, do anything that puts a strain on NHS resources, go on and on (and on) about how he needs gin/wine/prosecco because of how hard parenthood is, try and force drink on me, fight, embarrass himself and he can get through social events or just a meal or an evening without it.

Finding drinking and drunkenness pathetic is fair enough, but plenty of people can do all of those things and still have an alcoholic drink. Finding people “pathetic” just because they may have an occasional drink of alcohol is as bad as finding people “pathetic” for being teetotal.

ICantCopeAnymore · 18/05/2018 18:42

I know, Beans, it was teasing.

BakedBeans47 · 18/05/2018 18:44

Ah OK. Not enough (any!) gin in my system yet. ;)

ICantCopeAnymore · 18/05/2018 18:56

Now that's one thing I don't get - to me, gin tastes like perfume Grin

Momo27 · 18/05/2018 19:00

lynmilne65

“If your children are more precious why are you working?”

IF this is a thinly veiled dig at working parents, then the answer is because life doesn’t stop when you become a parent. It’s entirely possible for your children to be your most precious beings while also having your own life including a job or career. Those things may a fraction as important in the grand scheme of things as your precious babies, but that doesn’t mean they become irrelevant. part of good parenting is ensuring that whoever is in loco parentis for periods of time is looking after your child in the manner you want, and providing the kind of environment you want. Which often means paying a LOT of money. If you want a freebie, then you’re choices are more limited.

Gottagetmoving · 18/05/2018 19:09

but it think it is dangerous to be drinking while caring for a small child

It's dangerous to drink too much whilst caring for a child.

Gottagetmoving · 18/05/2018 19:12

Now that's one thing I don't get - to me, gin tastes like perfume

I draw the line at drinking perfume! Grin

Momo27 · 18/05/2018 19:25

Gin is nectar of the gods. Fact.

MarthasGinYard · 18/05/2018 19:35

'What I do know is that usually, the people on Mumsnet who drink don't like those who don't and repeatedly take the piss out of them. Very classy.'

Blimey I don't often see quite such hypocrisy on here.

Was it not you who made a jibe about me user name....

Hmmmmm

MarthasGinYard · 18/05/2018 19:36

'My'

Whoops

HiccupBlush

AvonCallingBarksdale · 18/05/2018 19:38

You get it in every alcohol thread where apparently no one drinks in case a previously well child needs immediate hospitalisation

GrinGrinGrin

MarthasGinYard · 18/05/2018 19:40

ICan'tCopeAnymore

But whilst we're on the subject, reckon your username may be rather apt Smile

Momo27 · 18/05/2018 19:41

Without a G and T now again when I had 3 under 5 and a job, I’d have been in danger of being hospitalised. But it was all good, because I paid for good quality childcare, and only drank gin when the little people were safely in beddy byes

ICantCopeAnymore · 18/05/2018 19:46

That's why I chose it Smile

ICantCopeAnymore · 18/05/2018 19:47

Saying that though, I could do with a change. Maybe I'll try FuckingLoon, or BatshitTeeTotaller.

MarthasGinYard · 18/05/2018 19:48

If it makes you happy

Go for it

ICantCopeAnymore · 18/05/2018 19:56

I think I'm too miserable and boring to get away with it Smile

voddiekeepsmesane · 18/05/2018 20:00

Oh please do stop with the Mumsnet sillyness!! Many people have a drink or 2 (or 5) while in charge of their children. IT IS NOT A CRIMINAL OFFENCE. As much as some of you love to get all on your high horses about these things. Most people are still aware enough of their children and their needs even after a couple of drinks and most people over the age of 30 do NOT get so drunk that they would not be able to care for children. If you don't drink ...fine. But please don't make ouit a few drinks on a Friday night equals bad parenting either. And after saying that YABU OP a couple of glasses of wine meh ...whatever IMO

wobytide · 18/05/2018 21:08

Do people go on holiday and take it in turns to have a drink too or is it only whilst within the confines of home life that the car constraint is always considered?

Lazypoolday · 18/05/2018 22:25

Do people go on holiday and take it in turns to have a drink too or is it only whilst within the confines of home life that the car constraint is always considered?

Holidays? Unless they are to Disneyland or similar and completely child centred, then how selfish of those parents. Of course drinking shouldn't happen, parents must put their own needs and enjoyment aside once they have kids Grin

Wouldn't be surprised to see a post like this tbh!

BakedBeans47 · 18/05/2018 22:29

Now that's one thing I don't get - to me, gin tastes like perfume

I used to think the same - it’s all about the tonic though ;)

TheDowagerCuntess · 19/05/2018 02:30

I tend to think the particular brand of pearl-clutching teetotal types must've either grown up in homes where alcohol was abused (in which case their stance is completely understandable), or in temperant homes and think of it as some sort of evil, and are genuinely scared of it.

Vast swathes of people (I suspect the majority) come from homes were alcohol is/was consumed, and everyone went on to lead perfectly normal, healthy, loving, functioning lives.

We see the bad news stories and evidence of people abusing alcohol, and forget that this is not most people. Not most adults.

Both my parents drank alcohol (to be fair, DM very little), but I never saw them drunk. They entertained a lot, and I don't remember ever seeing any of our family friends drunk either. That was my model, and I suspect it's many other people's model.

We entertain a lot, too. Alcohol is pretty much always involved, too. Everyone has a great time, lots of laughs, and then goes home. I am certain this is not unusual, because whenever I go to anyone else's house, that's what happens to.

Do people get rip roaringly drunk? Well, yes, sometimes, but that's the exception (and obviously not when DC are around). We all have kids we have to get up with the next morning and/or jobs to go to.

We're adults that enjoy a good time, and are mature enough to know when we've had enough. This is the norm, I am certain of it.

It's just people who haven't grown up around this that can't understand it.