To not want MiL to drink while babysitting

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My MiL looks after DD(2.5) once a week while I’m at work. She will send pictures to show what they’re up to, and I noticed in the most recent an empty bottle of wine and two glasses on the table. She was meeting her friend for lunch and they had a bottle between them, whilst she’s looking after her granddaughter.

One glass might be ok, I suppose, but half a bottle seems like a lot. When I mentioned it to DP, he said that it was ok because she drinks a lot normally so half a bottle isn’t a lot for her!

AIBU to be really cross that she’s had that much whilst in charge of my little one?

Of course, that will happen to every child of teetotal parents

I can assure you, I'm a child of teetotal parents and I've never been admitted to hospital for drinking. In fact, after drinking a bit as a teenager/YA, I quickly realised how pathetic people who drink actually are and stopped. Perhaps the children will be the same, perhaps they won't. Who knows? What I do know is that usually, the people on Mumsnet who drink don't like those who don't and repeatedly take the piss out of them. Very classy.

I think it goes both ways actually. A few years ago there was a thread on here where people openly admitted that they would never enter into a relationship with someone who didn’t drink because they felt they would be incompatible. And these weren’t heavy drinkers from what I could gather. But that in itself is pretty pathetic, no?

I think that if you as a drinker feel looked down on by someone who doesn’t drink that likely says more about you than it does about them. Of course the comments about never allowing anyone who drank a drop around your children are ridiculous in the extreme, but in general we were just talking about a glass or two of wine here not going ou binge drinking with the three year old in toe.

Half a bottle of wine does NOT equal a glass and a half, unless you're talking about ridiculously huge glasses. NHS website says:
A 750ml bottle of red, white or rosé wine (ABV 13.5%) contains 10 units.

So 5 units for half a bottle. That would take you over the drink driving limit. Half a bottle of wine does make most people drunk, it's just that they're so used to it, they don't realise.

I get you, op. I wouldn’t be comfortable with that, either. To me, it would be like having a spliff while looking after someone else’s kids.
Don’t think I’d have the bottle (no pun intended) to say anything if I wanted their help again, though!

I’d take the wine over doing unpaid childcare too!!

Wonder if the OP will dare make it a deal breaker and lose her freebie

icant cope

Nope nothing to do with you not drinking that’s a. In issue it was your comments on others choices that were bat shit.

Marthas the vin diagram was immense

What I do know is that usually, the people on Mumsnet who drink don't like those who don't and repeatedly take the piss out of them.

You continually miss the point.

I'm merely musing at the what the future holds for my sons and their wives. You give me pause.

lakie and stroke*

To be fair I have never been to wire piddle

Nair. OP is a hypocrite and has other issues with MIL.
She's looking for a hook to hang her on.
But she daren't because she needs her.
Somehow MIL raised her son without causing his death after a port and lemon.
It's a miracle he's alive.
Rejoice.

People seem to be forgetting that your body does process alcohol. She won’t be walking round unable to navigate an escalator and public transport with 5 whole units in her system for the rest of the day. Lunch could easily take 2 hours or more!

Radio

I got to be honest I don’t actually know one grandparent, and I know many, who are begging to do child care. Like most grans I love them when they come and I love it when they go.

I expect your mil is being polite and pehaps sense your views so crack the bottle out when you visit just in case.

Gosh there could be totally sober grandparents up and down the country slurring to avoid the ‘can you just commit to tues/wed/fri and one weekend in 3 ‘grin]

HALF a bottle of wine. With a restaurant meal. It's fine. It wouldn't effect me at all but then again, I'm a lush

Honestly, it's not like she's doing crack or heroin.

Some people sound like they need colouring in. (not Op)

There’s a world of difference between being a loving, involved, supportive grandparent who enjoys spending time with the grandkids, and being used as free childcare and having to fit in with the times and requirements of the parents

Vin diagram 😂

I think ‘used as free childcare’ is a little harsh as most grandparents are willing to help out as child care is expensive but to paint the picture that all grandparents are gagging to grab toddlers from their parents and it’s a reward for them Is crazy.

Also lots of grandparents still work FT. Dh does

I don't drink if I've got other people's kids in the house and I'm the sole adult. I'm not sure why. I definitely drink when mine are in bed or on the wind down (mine are older) but you either take the (free) childcare or you pay for it.

Today 17:28 Ohmydayslove

“I think ‘used as free childcare’ is a little harsh as most grandparents are willing to help out as child care is expensive”

Yes- it’s expensive. At one point we were paying more than my earnings for childcare. It was way more than our mortgage. But then my children are more precious than bricks and mortar.

I understand the pressure - been there done that. But it does seem strange that some people view childcare as an avoidable expense. They pay their mortgage, rent, bills, car... but come to their most precious beings and they begrudge investing in good quality care. And if the OP can’t afford to pay out because she earns so little then she could always do some sort of work that fits round the child’s father. To use a granny for free childcare and then complain that she wants a lunch out with a friend, is hugely entitled

Ohmydays. You 'expect' incorrectly, but that's okay. I wouldn't try to make assumptions about a complete strangers family, but you seem to want to do so about mine.

Evening all. Just popping by with an appeal for a bit of peace and love. Things started to get a bit personal up there ^^ earlier. Let's try and all be respectful of each other's choices and opinions.

If your children are more precious why are you working?

I quickly realised how pathetic people who drink actually are and stopped.

Does this include your OH and his annual Christmas beer?

Boom!

No, he doesn't get drunk and annoying, do anything that puts a strain on NHS resources, go on and on (and on) about how he needs gin/wine/prosecco because of how hard parenthood is, try and force drink on me, fight, embarrass himself and he can get through social events or just a meal or an evening without it.

Hebe is this time to offer round the s? 😂

No, he doesn't get drunk and annoying, do anything that puts a strain on NHS resources, go on and on (and on) about how he needs gin/wine/prosecco because of how hard parenthood is, try and force drink on me, fight, embarrass himself and he can get through social events or just a meal or an evening without it.

You do know that most people can drink a fair bit more than your husband and still manage all that, right?