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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Men wanting to be Women

823 replies

bert3400 · 16/05/2018 22:26

To think transgender women really have no idea what being a women is ? . Maybe it's time we had a 3rd Gender . Be interested in hearing what real women & transwomen feel ?

OP posts:
ferntwist · 16/05/2018 23:07

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 16/05/2018 23:08

Anyone watching the documentary on at the moment "what makes a woman?' on channel four. This program is sooo biased! It's not a debate at all!

@Fresta I was going to watch it, but I know it will make my blood pressure rise and I won't be able to sleep tonight.

I'm thinking of making a programme called "What makes a zoo keeper" because I own two cats and drive a jeep so its pretty much the same. Some might say I'm MORE of a zoo keeper because I painted tiger stripes on my jeep. Obviously I don't have to deal with any dangerous animals or patrol my local village throwing hunks of dead zebra out the window, but if you try and say I'm not a zoo keeper it's literal violence because I have some Go-Cat in my boot.

Pratchet · 16/05/2018 23:08

I'm a male and it enraged me that men think they have a right to be in private women's spaces when still a man.

Would be so great if more men echoed this

Strongmummy · 16/05/2018 23:09

@anxious I AM a feminist. If the feminist notice board on mumsnet spouts this TERF bullshit I’ve heard the arguments before and can’t face them again.

Still don’t get the infringement of rights , sorry. Would love some actual examples

bert3400 · 16/05/2018 23:10

Oh Zookeeper...you are brilliant

OP posts:
OrderMeAnotherCurry · 16/05/2018 23:10

I wish people would stop screaming transphobia whenever anyone disagrees with them. You're not helping anyone. All you're doing is getting peoples backs up and belittling what transphobia is.

I still have the scar on my forehead from when I was glassed in a pub for being a 'revolting tranny'.

I have been punched in the face, spat on and called a fag.

As a teenager I had a group of boys try to pin me down and pull up my skirt because they thought it would be hilarious to see what I looked like down there.

All of those things were transphobic.

A group of women talking about a potential law change that will impact them negatively is not transphobic.

Stating biological facts is not transphobic.

Transwomen are male. Despite everything I have done to my body and what I will continue to do in order to make it look female, I am still and will always be male.

I think I am now at the point where I really am okay with being a transwoman. I don't have to lie and claim to be a woman in order to be accepted and quite frankly, neither does anyone else.

Transphobia is a word which is tossed around so readily these days that it has almost lost all meaning. I worry that if something genuinely transphobic does happen then people won't take it seriously thanks to the utter ridiculous and petty things which are labelled transphobic now.

Pratchet · 16/05/2018 23:11

Strong: no, you wouldn't. You've been shown examples before and you ignored them.

siwel123 · 16/05/2018 23:12

I agree it would bebgreat more men felt this way. I believe many do feel this way but fear the backlash if they publically come out with this view. As I've seen on this threw and social media women who stand up for their basic rights get so much abuse for wanting to protect their right to privacy and a safe space.

40isnew50 · 16/05/2018 23:12

Sorry but if you are born male you are male and if you are born female you are female. Wanting to be or strongly believing you should be a different gender doesn't make it so. If you desperately wanted to be a fish you could probably have surgery to look like one but you still won't be able to breathe under water.....

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 16/05/2018 23:12

Most of us are PERFs actually Strongmummy - penis exclusionary radical feminists.

(BTW radical probably doesn't mean what you think it does in this context.)

Pratchet · 16/05/2018 23:12

i worry that if something genuinely transphobic does happen then people won't take it seriously thanks to the utter ridiculous and petty things which are labelled transphobic now.

I think this is happening

ghostyslovesheets · 16/05/2018 23:13

bert why are you showing as the OP?

siwel123 · 16/05/2018 23:13

@orderme. So sorry for what people did Flowers. Thank you for being so supportive when you have gone through so much

Snoophizzle · 16/05/2018 23:14

bert why are you showing as the OP?
Bert is the op Confused

OrderMeAnotherCurry · 16/05/2018 23:14

If transwomen were women then we wouldn't be having this discussion in the first place because we would simply exist as women.

The fact that we need to discuss this and the fact it is so up for debate proves that we are not women.

We are transwomen.

Of course we need rights and protection but we need different rights and protection to that of women because we are different. We have different needs, histories and experiences. Simply sticking us together with women and expecting us to always use women's spaces and services is not helpful to anyone.

Pratchet · 16/05/2018 23:15

Bert is the Op

bert3400 · 16/05/2018 23:15

I think a referendum would work , only women (born) could vote, to see if we want Transwomen to join our gender or create a 3rd Gender.

OP posts:
Poppyred85 · 16/05/2018 23:15

Nice to see you back again Curry. Shame you keep having to repeat yourself! For those who haven’t seen a post by Curry before she (I hope that’s the right pronoun) tries to put across her view as a trans woman. You know, someone with experience in all this. And yet no one from the trans lobby seems interested in hearing her point of view. I wonder why.

VioletCharlotte · 16/05/2018 23:16

@OrderMeAnotherCurry
That's awful, I'm so sorry Thanks

Pratchet · 16/05/2018 23:17

Bert: sex is different to gender!

Sex is reproductive role, gender is the social stereotypes.

WomaninGreen · 16/05/2018 23:17

OP YANBU
Though I don't know why we need gender categories, we have biology to separate

@Strongmummy

Examples abound

The woman who found her requested female HCP was trans
The fact that transwomen are allowed to compete in women's sports
Transwomen applying for women's awards
Davina Ayrton, Tara Hudson

LadyMisty · 16/05/2018 23:19

40isnew50
That's exactly right. Wanting to be something and believing in something so strongly still doesn't make it so. I'd like to forever be identified as a 21 year old. But it's not possible because I'M NOT 21, and won't ever be 21.
You are either XX OR XY. You can't argue with genetics. You can't change those chromosomes. You're one of the other.

I will however say that I have no problems with anyone who wishes to live as whatever they want. If they're happy, fab! But it doesn't make them a woman if they were born a man.

ghostyslovesheets · 16/05/2018 23:19

lol - sorry Bert - you are the op ! time for bed

bert3400 · 16/05/2018 23:21

Pratchet I don't think I have mentioned the 'Sex' word

OP posts:
Willow2017 · 16/05/2018 23:22

Why are you so fearful of trans women ? What do you think they’re going to do to you? How are they imposing on women’s rights? I just don’t understand why there is so much passive aggression towards trans women on mumsnet

Maybe if you had read many of the threads about this issue you would know the answer?

I dont fear individual trans people, I fear the trans activists, the self I.D. the men with fully functioning penises and beards telling me they are a woman today, and the notion that a fully functioning man can rock up and claim to 'identify as a woman today' and go into a womans refuge, be put in a womans prison with vulnerable women and if we say "No" then we are accused of being transphobic, frightened of trans, etc etc.

When trans activists stop physically attacking women for standing up to them, stop using media to berate and browbeat anyone who states the obvious, stops trying to tell me I am a 'cis woman' and therefor have less rights than they have, stop telliing me that I cannot talk about periods, childbirth, womens experiences, misoginy, or anything else to do with being born a woman because its insulting/phobic towards trans because its somehow my fault they have never experienced it, when men are not allowed to compete against women in womens sports because they say they are women, when they attack lesbians for not wanting to suck their lady dicks (cos 'real' women have dicks dont you know?) when kids who are going through normal teen angst about their identity are not carted off for hormone treatments to make them sterile, stunt thier growth and indoctrinated to the fact that as they like pink/want to be a nurse or blue/short hair/fast cars then they must be a trans and its imperative that they start changing their bodies into their 'proper gender' before they have had time to even process how they want their life to go, when women arent labelled as the only people in the world who should be supporting trans women and should give up their safe spaces for them because the men wont then I might have the time of day for them.

Otherwise I will continue to take trans people on their own merits (and most of them I have met/have posted on here do not agree with any of the above being right anyway) not as a collective.