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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To charge DD and her friends for a round trip into town

350 replies

NoMoreFreeRides · 15/05/2018 13:10

DD thinks I am, so we've agreed to ask MN!

Now and again, I drive DD(13) and her friends into town. They go shopping for a couple of hours whilst I park my backside in Costa.

They want to go shopping this Saturday and were going to take the train but want to watch the Royal Wedding "live" first. We live fairly rurally so train service won't accommodate their plans.

I've told DD I'll drive them but they all need to give me £2 each (including DD) to cover my parking and Costa (I'll chuck the petrol, wear & tear on car and witty repartee in for free).

DD thinks I'm being tight and embarrassing

Who's right me obviously

OP posts:
Peterrabbitscarrots · 15/05/2018 13:11

YABU, you’ll be known as “that parent.”

Marmaladdin · 15/05/2018 13:12

YABU. Either take them or don't, don't take kids' pocket money.

Frogthefrog · 15/05/2018 13:12

Please don't charge your daughter or her friends for a lift into town!! She'll be so embarrassed and that is ridiculously tight behaviour.

DevilsAttic · 15/05/2018 13:13

Do you want her to like you?

HoHoHoHo · 15/05/2018 13:13

I think they're taking the piss expecting you to wait around in the carpark. I would just tell them to get the train.

LizTaylorsFabulousTurban · 15/05/2018 13:14

Don't charge her. But don't take her. They want to do two things that mean that another person has to change their plans. They get to choose to do one of them.

Hulah00pie · 15/05/2018 13:14

Yes, you are. Don’t have children if you aren’t prepared to give lifts, particularly if you have chosen to live somewhere without good transport links.

dontticklethetoad · 15/05/2018 13:14

Oh god..... Please don't.... I am cringing for your poor daughter.

AdoraBell · 15/05/2018 13:14

YABU. If they were 20 something with jobs it would be different.

Seeline · 15/05/2018 13:15

YABU. Either take them willingly, or just say no.

BettyPitts · 15/05/2018 13:15

No one would do this.

Are you pulling out leg?

Seniorcitizen1 · 15/05/2018 13:15

My god - how mean are you - shocking attitude

LockedOutOfMN · 15/05/2018 13:16

Would she take the train on another day? i.e. It's just the royal wedding this Saturday that makes a car trip 'necessary'? If so then I'd just take them this once. (Without charging them).

In future, tell her she needs to organise her shopping trips around the train timetable.

PinotAndPlaydough · 15/05/2018 13:16

Really??? They are 13 for goodness sake, Are you really going to take money off children (who may have saved up their pocket money for this shopping trip).

I think you need to speak to the other parents and see if some sort of rota can be set up so it’s not alway you or if your really don’t want to do it then don’t. If they want to watch the wedding then they can’t go shopping, or they can go shopping and catch up later. They are old enough to get that.

Please don’t charge her friends though, it would be embarrassing and not only will her friends think your nuts I suspect their parents would too.

MightyMucks · 15/05/2018 13:16

YABVU.

TheDinosaurRoars · 15/05/2018 13:16

You already have plans for the day so are not free to drive them in. Surely they can pay for a taxi instead of you?

listsandbudgets · 15/05/2018 13:17

YABU. Peril of having children and especially of living rurually.

You will embarrass your dd not to add ber friends parents will see you as pretty grabby too.

You are also being unreasonable to drink costa coffee IMHO. Its vile and over priced

Latenightreader · 15/05/2018 13:18

Can you drop them off but leave them to catch the train back? I definitely would not charge them, but making them realise that there are costs involved isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Midthreademergencynamechange · 15/05/2018 13:18

I'm assuming this is a joke thread too.

firsttimemum889 · 15/05/2018 13:18

YABU for gods sake !!

niknac1 · 15/05/2018 13:21

I used to give my friends mum the money I would have paid in bus fare, long time ago but she was a single parent and my mum thought it was fair because I had a door to fire lift, no walking and the money would have gone to the bus company. This was every day for a few years.

Just right now I wouldn’t charge my daughter or her friends for a lift. Times have changed, but if you need the money it’s different.

LiquoricePickle · 15/05/2018 13:21

YABU.

Original poster
NoMoreFreeRides · 15/05/2018 13:22

I'm assuming this is a joke thread too

It really isn't 😊

And I'm going to get it moved to Chat where everyone will agree that I'm a sensible parent teaching them the value of money!

OP posts:
PositiveVibez · 15/05/2018 13:23

My dad used to be super tight with his lifts. We never used to ask him to take us anywhere.

It was embarrassing when friends came. They stopped coming in the end and I always had to go to theirs.

BlueJava · 15/05/2018 13:24

There's no ways I'd charge my two 16 year old DS, let alone their friends! I'm horrified someone would think to charge their kids let alone friends. The only possible way to justify even thinking this if you are in really dire straights financially and your children are working. Charging friends would be beyond humiliating whatever age.

Personally I'd be pleased they're going out together to do a "nice" activity. I run mine and sometimes their friends to the town, cinema etc all the time. I'm happy that they are happy, meeting their mates and enjoying life.