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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To charge DD and her friends for a round trip into town

350 replies

NoMoreFreeRides · 15/05/2018 13:10

DD thinks I am, so we've agreed to ask MN!

Now and again, I drive DD(13) and her friends into town. They go shopping for a couple of hours whilst I park my backside in Costa.

They want to go shopping this Saturday and were going to take the train but want to watch the Royal Wedding "live" first. We live fairly rurally so train service won't accommodate their plans.

I've told DD I'll drive them but they all need to give me £2 each (including DD) to cover my parking and Costa (I'll chuck the petrol, wear & tear on car and witty repartee in for free).

DD thinks I'm being tight and embarrassing

Who's right me obviously

OP posts:
MMcanny · 15/05/2018 13:35

Where will your dd get the money from? Are you actually really poor and can’t afford the favour or are you loaded and give a 13-yr-old £50 per week pocket money then look for ways for her to spend it? Either way, I wouldn’t. Your daughter is in the right here.

bluddyknackered · 15/05/2018 13:35

Fecking hell! I'd have died if my parents had done this when I was 13. Your poor daughter. We lived rurally and lots of parents drove us to various activities and places. NO ONE charged.

BakerBear · 15/05/2018 13:35

You sound like my mum!

As kids we had to pay her for EVERYTHING. She never did anything for free.

When i was about 14 we had a washing up rota and everyone had twice a week whether you had eaten anything there or not you still had to wash everyones pots on your day. If you couldnt wash them on your day as you wanted to go out or was ill or whatever then she would charge you £2.50 for washing the pots on your day.

If you wanted to dry something in the tumble dryer that was a charge of £1.50 an hour.

My step father had a car but would refuse to drop us off at friends (we had to get 2 buses instead) unless he got something in return. Sometimes we would have to scratch his back for half an hour if we wanted dropping off at a friends house which was a 15 min drive away but 2 bus rides.

My dd is only 5 but when shes older i will be dropping her off at friends rather than her get the bus and risk being approached by gangs of kids like i was.

SemperIdem · 15/05/2018 13:35

Yabu

Original poster
NoMoreFreeRides · 15/05/2018 13:37

Thank you Illustriouslyillogical for being the Sole Voice of Reason on my thread! The train would cost them a fiver each. Actually, I'm thinking charging them £2 is too little ...

DD's friends think I'm a total mug wonderful because from nursery onwards,I've been taking them here there and everywhere. None of the other parents take them shopping en masse.

Maybe I should charge the parents?

OP posts:
ikeepaforkinmypurse · 15/05/2018 13:37

wow I can't believe people are becoming so tight they are thinking of charging their own children that way. What's wrong with people? What's that new modern thing of charging everyone around you for everything?
It's depressing.

gryffen · 15/05/2018 13:38

Charge her.

Christ I'm 35 and when I had surgery in April last year I gave my dad twenty quid for petrol for the journey from Glasgow to Fife and back again. He didn't ask for it but 120 mile return trip I was paying it.

If they expect a lift then say pay petrol or don't go - teaches them respect for mum's taxi service.

BlueJava · 15/05/2018 13:39

Well if going to MacDonalds, Urban Decay, New Look, Tiger and the over priced juice bar are considered naice activities ...

They are nice if you're a young teen. I assume she's not getting drunk, smoking, going with 10 boys at once, smuggling contraband, absconding...

see is could be so much worse!! ;)

ErictheGuineaPig · 15/05/2018 13:41

Ah so it's the other parents who are taking the piss and availing themselves of your taxi service really isn't it? Perhaps it is time to point out that the other parents need to pull their weight with lifts.

newcupcake · 15/05/2018 13:41

Why would you contemplate charging her to do a normal parenting job ??!! Lift giving is part and parcel it's a very weird idea to charge your child and her friends and doesn't teach her anything

MissionItsPossible · 15/05/2018 13:41

Although I agree YABU some of the reactions on here are OTT. It's £2 not £20. I don't understand the 'cringing' and 'Poor DD' comments Hmm

BarbaraofSevillle · 15/05/2018 13:41

How about you drive them into town and drop them off and another parent does the pick up

That sounds like the fairest suggestion. I'd be more miffed about waiting round for hours in Costa than the cost of the fuel if it was a journey I didn't want to do. Plus no parking or Costa costs.

TeeBee · 15/05/2018 13:42

You do sound really tight. I can't imagine why you don't want to help your child. Drop them off but say the other girls should ask one of their parent to' drop back...you don't need to sit around in coffee shops. Or they get the train home. But charging is very tight. Either do it for love, or don't do it.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 15/05/2018 13:42

gryffen
yes it's the same, a 35 year old with presumably a full time job and a 13 year old who might be earning a few pounds with chores or babysitting Hmm

Paying your own dad if he 's struggling financially is one thing - and if he isn't, it's weird. I would be mortified if my kids were taking notes of all the favours between us and settling a bill accordingly.

Some people on MN are just weird.

WhatCanIDoNowPlease · 15/05/2018 13:43

I'M with you op.

I'm astonished that anyone thinks it ok that you should be financially out of pocket for doing favours for other people's children.

Favours which are never reciprocated.

OliviaStabler · 15/05/2018 13:43

You chose to live in a rural area. When it comes to kids, you have to accept you would have to run them around or pay for a taxi at that age.

Nothing wrong in saying no, you won't take them just for this Royal Wedding week, but to charge them is very unfair.

Namechange128 · 15/05/2018 13:44

None of the other parents take them shopping en masse.

Why is this such a common thing in Mumsnet threads?
Martyr self.
Build up bitter resentment.
Massively overrreact.

Can't you just be like the other parents and say no thanks? Or give them a lift in and let them take the train home.

dontticklethetoad · 15/05/2018 13:45

You asked a question in AIBU. You got your answer. It was nearly unanimous.

Your responses make you sound like a bit of a tool.

Battleax · 15/05/2018 13:45

It’s quite passive aggressive, and, yes, you’ll embarrass your DD. It’s incumbent on you to be beige wallpaper for about three years when they are this age. This isn’t that.

EdmundCleverClogs · 15/05/2018 13:45

It’s amazing what new posters come out with.

eggcellent · 15/05/2018 13:45

If you made the decision to live rurally, you have to be prepared to be a taxi for your kids. It's not their fault you chose to live there.

Battleax · 15/05/2018 13:45

Martyr self.
Build up bitter resentment.
Massively overrreact.

Spot in name.

ThinkingQueSeraSera · 15/05/2018 13:46

That's one of the most ridiculous things I've ever read on here. You want to charge 13 year olds??!!

HotSauceCommittee · 15/05/2018 13:47

Please don’t take money from her. If you are fed up of being the only one to give lifts (I’ve been there), ask the other parents to take a turn.
When children a small, you change their nappies, feed them, get up in the night with them. Then they get older and you don’t have to do that; they need lifts, conversation and money instead. It’s part of parenting an older child and far too many people stop doing it. Refuse on this occasion if it really doesn’t suit you, but please don’t bring money into the equation.

DamnWhyAreAllTheUsernamesTaken · 15/05/2018 13:47

WTF 😂 give your child a lift and don’t be so tight, for goodness sakes.