Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To charge DD and her friends for a round trip into town

350 replies

NoMoreFreeRides · 15/05/2018 13:10

DD thinks I am, so we've agreed to ask MN!

Now and again, I drive DD(13) and her friends into town. They go shopping for a couple of hours whilst I park my backside in Costa.

They want to go shopping this Saturday and were going to take the train but want to watch the Royal Wedding "live" first. We live fairly rurally so train service won't accommodate their plans.

I've told DD I'll drive them but they all need to give me £2 each (including DD) to cover my parking and Costa (I'll chuck the petrol, wear & tear on car and witty repartee in for free).

DD thinks I'm being tight and embarrassing

Who's right me obviously

OP posts:
Singingtherapy · 15/05/2018 13:24

You're joking right? Parents drive their children to places, it's part of family life. You don't have to do it every time they ask. But when you do say yes, charging a fare would be excruciatingly embarrassing for her.

mavismcruet · 15/05/2018 13:24

Your DD is correct, you are being tight and embarrassing.

You wouldn’t have been unreasonable though if you had told them they had to make plans around the train times or miss the Royal Wedding.

Mia1415 · 15/05/2018 13:24

YABVU!!! My Dear Dad used to drive me (and my friends) all over the place when I was young. I'm talking round trips of 300 miles to attend concerts and all sorts. He never charged us a penny! I would absolutely do the same for my DS and wouldn't dream of charging him.

My friends parents did the same.

I'm glad you are not my mum!

catinboots9 · 15/05/2018 13:24

Do you hate your child?

iklboo · 15/05/2018 13:25

And I'm going to get it moved to Chat where everyone will agree that I'm a sensible parent teaching them the value of money!

No, they really won't Wink

IIIustriousIyIllogical · 15/05/2018 13:25

And I'm going to get it moved to Chat where everyone will agree that I'm a sensible parent teaching them the value of money!

I would!

Tell them they can either pay the £2 or for your time at your hourly rate....

I honestly don't understand the grief you're getting, but it does go some way to explaining the attitude of some of the kids I deal with...

Luisa27 · 15/05/2018 13:25

You’re being v tight and v embarrassing - your poor daughter

Please get a grip 😳

IIIustriousIyIllogical · 15/05/2018 13:26

Do you hate your child?

Are you her child?

Probably not as a 13 year old wouldn't type such drivel....

user1494670108 · 15/05/2018 13:27

Yavbu

Thebluedog · 15/05/2018 13:27

We live rurally and it’s a right royal (did you see what I did there) pain in the arse having to taxi the family around, but hey, it’s what us adults do.

So YABU

That said, it would be a nice gesture for your dd to shout you a cuppa at costas Wink

lunaraygreentree · 15/05/2018 13:27

I know the value of money. I was never charged by my parents for lifts anywhere. Just say no if you don't want to. Taking money off children? Nah Confused

SoapOnARoap · 15/05/2018 13:28

YABVU. Biscuit

Original poster
NoMoreFreeRides · 15/05/2018 13:28

Personally I'd be pleased they're going out together to do a "nice" activity

I am! Well if going to MacDonalds, Urban Decay, New Look, Tiger and the over priced juice bar are considered naice activities ...

OP posts:
IIIustriousIyIllogical · 15/05/2018 13:28

I'm assuming it's going to cost the kids a damned sight more than £2 if they get the train - unless MN think you should be paying for that too???

BlueBalletDress · 15/05/2018 13:28

You can't take pocket money from children Shock

Just say no if you don't want to do it, no need to humiliate your DD. Poor kid.

Bridesmaidinchief · 15/05/2018 13:29

I've never heard anything as mortifyingly tight in my life! My toes are physically curling at the thought of what your poor DD's friends are going to think about you (and her).

Don't be such a tight-fisted miser, for the love of god.

BlueNeighbourhood · 15/05/2018 13:30

Then when your DD's friends don't come around anymore because you're the parent that charges them for lifts anywhere...being a teenager is hard enough without their mother making them the butt of jokes.

I've never paid for a lift from my parents in my life, even as a grown working adult. It's just a kind thing to do - and you don't have to stay in Costa, you choose to.

CD890 · 15/05/2018 13:30

God, if I'd had to pay my dad every time he gave me a lift I'd be skint!
Having said that, sometimes when going shopping with friends one of their mum's would offer a lift and I'd always try to give them the money I would have spent on the bus but they never took it! I think YABU since you have offered to drive them when you could just make them get the train. If they were begging you for a lift and it would ruin your plans, I'd maybe ask for a quid but no more than that.

GruffaIo · 15/05/2018 13:30

You chose to live in the countryside, and this is one of the consequences. Don't charge her.

My parents were very tight about this, and I had to walk 2.5 miles each way to the train station and get the train if I wanted to go anywhere. I grew up resenting their decision to live in the countryside for them whilst not providing for their children.

jay55 · 15/05/2018 13:31

Do the other parents ever reciprocate? If not I totally understand.

LuckyLuckyWoman · 15/05/2018 13:32

How about you drive them into town and drop them off and another parent does the pick up?

I had many years of driving my two and various friends here, there and everywhere, never crossed my mind that I could charge them.

Cuckooclocks · 15/05/2018 13:32

Tight

MistressDeeCee · 15/05/2018 13:33

Hopefully on hearing this one of the other mums will take them.

ErictheGuineaPig · 15/05/2018 13:34

See if you can work something out so one parent does one journey and another the second. That's what I do with my 13yo and her friends. One drops the other picks up.

Is your dd a bit of a demanding madam? If so I can imagine this may be a last straw type of thing if you're sick of being taken for granted. My 13 yo is my easy kid (unlike her siblings) who rarely asks for much so I'm happy to do stuff like that for her. I might not feel the same if she was obnoxious and demanding I guess.

SomeKnobend · 15/05/2018 13:34

That's ridiculous. Don't charge her, she's 13 ffs. If she was an adult with a job and wanted you to drive instead of her then you'd be reasonable to charge, but at 13 it's just part of being a parent.