AIBU to think DH should make his own packed lunch?

[lunchboxloony]

Why did I ever do it? When we bought our house DH was busy building the extension and I sort of got into the habit. Since then had two DCs, left full time well paid career for part time (2 days) local flexible job but still am full time mum and housewife, cooking, cleaning,etc.

Today I got up while Dh was still in bed, got the children fed etc, took them and his Mum to church, came home and cooked a roast lunch, cleared up, collected DD's friend for play date, did a few jobs round the garden, took friend back about 6.30. Dh meanwhile took DS out for the afternoon with a friend and did their hobby, got home about 7pm and then sat in front of the TV for the rest of the evening.

I fed the DCs, DH said what's for supper and I said 'don't know, am just sorting the DCs for now'. He then got himself something I think, I wasn't really thinking about him. While DCs were eating I made their packed lunches and then as I put them to bed I said to him - 'I'm really busy at the moment, please can you make your own lunch for tomorrow'. He said OK. (he has a history of never listening to me - this may have been an example of that!). When the DCs were in bed I then microwaved something for my supper, and while waiting I went into the sitting room with menus etc to order their school dinners for the next couple of weeks. It was quite late by then - maybe 9.30. DH yawned and said he might go to bed, so I said 'don't forget your sandwiches'. He acted totally shocked, said he never heard me mention it and it was far too late to expect him to make them at that time of night, and anyway he does them on Tuesdays (when I'm at work!) so it's totally ridiculous that I should ask him to make them in a Sunday as well. Now - I have said on numerous occasions over the years that I shouldn't have to make his lunch - but I suppose I have been stupidly soft and just done it. Anyway, this time I said tough - if you don't it's not my problem - and he just stomped to bed without making them. He said I am a housewife and I should make everyone's meals - I am just sooooo cross - please tell me IANBU?!

Surely it’s all about team work. Sometimes I make a cup of tea, sometimes dh. Sometimes I take dc to activities and sometimes dh does.
Me working pt and home working full time doesn’t count for much when we are at home as we share it all.

As for packed lunches, I actually enjoy making them as they don’t take long and everyone is happy with them, but dd makes them as she is now in year 7 and it’s good for her 😊😊

How old are the children?
If they are at school surely the stay at home parent should use this time to sort housework and cooking?

Wow!! I am a stay at home mum, I don't cook for or make packed lunches for my husband, nor do I wash his clothes or do his share of the housework. He works full time, and we prepare meals, shop and do housework equally. My role is looking after the children when he is working, not being a slave

I find this a bit strange tbh, if he's at work all day why wouldn't you make your dh a meal and throw his stuff in the washer. If the roles were reversed surely you'd expect to come home to a meal. Nothing to do with being a slave, (what an odd thought) or having a "role"....just a bit of give and take. If you don't mind me saying, don't be damn mean.

Bit fed up of the myth that staying at home parenting is the easy option. I work part time and my days I work are a piece of piss compared to all day with toddlers!!

Unless you're stood on your feet all day in a factory, most actual jobs are probably a lot easier than staying at home minding toddlers. Its the whole thing though isn't it, if you haven't got a partner staying at home, it's the very early rises getting the kids fed, washed etc then dropping them at childcare, then pick up after work, getting home, sorting tea out, housework etc. I'd say on the whole it's a much harder day. It's got to be.

That’s true biscuitraider. DH’s working day is pretty easy in part because I’m a SAHP. He gets up, showers, and breakfast, makes his lunch and goes to work in his freshly ironed clothes. Spends a day doing a job he enjoys with colleagues he likes. Goes to the gym between meetings if he fancies it. Comes home to children fed and bathed and a generally clean house. Sometimes makes dinner. It’s completely different to a family where both parents are working and fitting in drop offs/pick ups and housework etc around working hours.
As such, DH is happy to pick up his share of chores and childcare at the weekends. Not least because he hasn’t seen much of the DC in the week and he wants to spend time with them.

Oh dear, I seem to have caused a bit of a ruckus!

I am not a totally SAHM - I work P/T and do DHs books etc. Mostly I do house stuff and he does other stuff, he's not lazy - but he is a bit rubbish at 'house' things as he has always been busy with the extension and cars and mowing and 'man things'. Usually works for us - but I was just sooo cross that night when he suddenly decided he a) couldn't make his lunch that night, and b) I should do it! Cue me being furious and posting my OP.

He is a bit of a man child and DD and I do have to tease him sometimes about stuff - but he isn't a complete waste of space and usually (if he'd listened properly in the first place....) would have said fine, and done them that day, even though I'm the one who does them 90% of the time. He has since apologised but I am still making his lunches most of the time, as I have always done. Seems a bit petty to suddenly refuse after 15 years, but I do expect some flexibility!

Anyway - thanks to everyone for your comments (esp the supportive ones), it's good just to be able to sound off sometimes when you feel really annoyed, and to get some feedback as to whether you're totally bonkers or just averagely weird !!!!

P.S. I totally wash his clothes along with all of ours! He doesn't need shirts ironed for work and overall I iron very rarely - but I do iron anything of his as well as mine, when I do. But I don't polish his shoes when I do the DCs on a Sunday night - there has to be a limit !!

Oh other people's lives. There is nothing more unattractive than a man child