"because there used to be huge prejudice against unmarried mothers" I can assure you there still is. Especially in certain parts of the country eg where I am lots of Catholics (I was raised Catholic) so being a divorcee let alone a never married mother IS still stigmatised. To the point it has affected how myself and my dd have been treated inc in medical situations (which yes is illegal but honestly if I sued or even complained every time it happened I'd spend my life in bureaucratic knots!)
Reallyanotherone you're right it should be same for both men and women.
I think all adult women should be Mrs. Lose the indication of if they are or have been married - nobody's business.
I believe in Germany Frau is now used for all adult women and Fraulein rarely used. Would be interested to know what's done in other countries. Eg I also know that in Italy women don't automatically take their husbands surname but keep their birth name.
Deadgood - interesting to know France does the same as Germany I think?
My ex is not happy I kept the name but again it's the same as my dd and he would not have given permission to change dds name (even though he's a deadbeat arse). His 2nd wife has chosen to double barrel, he tried to make out it was because I kept his name, she made it clear to me it's because she likes her maiden name, there's only her and her sister and her sister married a guy who already had a double barrelled name so took his so it was her way of continuing her family name. Their DC have the double barrelled name.
IF I were to remarry (highly unlikely) whether I took their name or not would depend on if I liked it, if they liked the idea, how dd felt about it. In that order.
"Guess I am just a feminist!" Nope! Wrong there too - feminism to most is about CHOICE criticising other women for their choices is possibly the least feminist act.
Moodance you are very much coming across as if you THINK you are superior, instead you're seeming over critical and insulting.
"If it's so much bother why do it in the first place?" As I said for me it distanced me from my father (my birth name was also unusual and has 4 possible spellings and was often mispronounced which is also annoying - had enough nonsense with my first name which is not pronounced how many Brits think) but also (and I suspect this is true for many) when you first marry and change your name you're usually younger and there's less formal attachment to your maiden name, less paperwork. When you're older there's usually TONS more paperwork to sort which is not only time consuming and can be complicated, and also expensive. Getting divorced is ALREADY time consuming, complicated and expensive! Plus as several posters have said there may be an established professional reputation linked to the married name - even business name and business papers.
I've now had my married name for longer than I had my maiden name.
"Men just have a name. No faff, no justification, no discussion, no guilt, no judgment just a name." Not true for all men. My ex fil also had an abusive birth father and changed to his step fathers name, which his mother took, but it was easier for him as he did it during the 1940's and it was something many did just by informing others.
"It's odd that men don't have this name change angst" no it's not odd they have no angst about it because they aren't stigmatised as unmarried fathers or unmarried at X age as women have and still are being.
"it really isn't that long ago that names restricted life choices for women." Still happening - see threads where women have taken the name of their non British named husband and how it affects job opportunities, credit, housing...
As recently as the 80's with my maiden name (obviously Irish) that affected the same.
Also being a miss or Mrs affected medical treatment especially relating to contraception and pregnancy. Still does in parts of the U.K.
Discrimination still goes on just the clever bigots claim other reasons for their bigotry.