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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People annoyed about my wedding

182 replies

14NG88 · 13/05/2018 11:33

Me and my future DH have decided to get married this Summer but this has caused a few problems after telling our parents. We want a small registry office wedding with 5 friends each and no parents or family. My parents love the idea and are very supportive but future DH parents seem to think we should be having a a huge chavtastic wedding involving families and expensive hotels. Does anyone think we are being unreasonable? I've always seen expensive weddings as being very tacky and would rather not bother than have an expensive or pretentious day.

OP posts:
FluctuatNecMergitur · 13/05/2018 13:51

In your title, by "people" do you mean "the people who gave birth to and raised us"?

KellyanneConway · 13/05/2018 13:54

Is this a made up post designed to gather material just in time for a tabloid piece to come out when the public is focusing on another, very large wedding?

eddielizzard · 13/05/2018 13:55

wow your parents are saints.

Finderscrispy · 13/05/2018 14:02

Your parents LOVE the idea of you not inviting them to your wedding? Bizarre thing for a parent to say. Can’t imagine my parents saying that if I announced my plans to exclude them.
Unless of course their is massive back story you’ve omitted, as other posters have said.

diddl · 13/05/2018 14:23

If neither of you want your parents/family there then that's up to you.

Can't imagine not having my parents there tbh, even if y OH hadn't wanted his.

Huskylover1 · 13/05/2018 14:25

BEYOND WEIRD. Feel so sorry for the parents. What a fucking slap in the face.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 13/05/2018 14:32

No parents Confused

Unless they are demons that seems incredibly sad for them

Can’t you have a small wedding and invite family Confused

pigsDOfly · 13/05/2018 14:32

Yes, referring to your future in laws as 'people' as you have done in title doesn't bode well for future relationships.

What a sweetheart you sound OP.

ferrier · 13/05/2018 15:57

I can't imagine there being much contact with the in-laws in future. Do you and dp dislike them that much?

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 13/05/2018 16:02

This is a reverse, surely?

Redglitter · 13/05/2018 16:11

Why on earth would you exclude your parents? 5 friends plus parents is still a very small intimate wedding

PurpleTrilby · 13/05/2018 16:31

I may be way off target here, but the username of the thread starter is quite odd. The numerals used, especially in those two pairs, have quite disturbing meanings if you know anything about extreme far right politics.

Bouledeneige · 13/05/2018 16:34

I'd normally say your wedding, your day.

But I would be upset if my kids got married and didn't invite me. Wouldn't you?

VladmirsPoutine · 13/05/2018 16:34

Purple What do you mean? I have no idea what the numerals mean but the thread doesn't ring true for me tbh.

numptynuts · 13/05/2018 16:44

We didn't have parents at ours but then again we didn't have anyone else either....except the dog Grin

theunsure · 13/05/2018 16:48

I had no guests at my wedding, it was lovely.
Parents weren't too pleased-but as both sides are divorced and can't be in the same room without an atmosphere it was tough luck.
I think you'd have been better off inviting no-one rather than putting friends before family-but it is you and DH's day, no-one else's.

Barbaro · 13/05/2018 17:04

It's your day but it's very strange to invite friends and not even your parents. I know your parents are supportive but I bet really they are upset at not getting to see it.

TomHardyswife · 13/05/2018 17:21

You lost me at chavtastic too.

I had a large wedding in terms of the number of guests that attended (mainly family) but it was not over the top and it was classy.

I would never criticise anyone for having a small wedding as it's each to their own. But YABU for not inviting both sets of parents without good reason. (Strained relationships)

Grimbles · 13/05/2018 17:32

I hope no family doesn't extend to you son op!

Grimbles · 13/05/2018 17:34

Purple What do you mean? I have no idea what the numerals mean but the thread doesn't ring true for me tbh

14 refers to 14 words which relates to a racist slogan about preserving the white race
88 is HH which is heil Hitler

Not sure on the letters though.

justanotheruser18 · 13/05/2018 17:36

Totally your choice but I would feel sad if I wasn't allowed to attend my child's wedding.

CheeseRollingChampion · 13/05/2018 17:58

I think eloping with stranger witnesses is fine.
I think eloping with a couple of siblings/close friends as witnesses is fine.
I think a small wedding with just parents and close friends is fine.
I think a small wedding with just parents and siblings is fine.
I think a small wedding with just parents is fine.

I think a small wedding with just 10 friends is really shitty thing to do, unless you are nc with your family or there are other major relationship issues there. It's not a tiny wedding if you invite 10 people and it puts your parents firmly at the bottom of a list of important people behind 10 friends. I'd be heartbroken if my kids did that. If they eloped it wouldn't bother me but to exclude me for 10 friends? I'd be really upset. You don't have to invite 200 people to invite your parents.

windermerebell · 13/05/2018 18:08

I think the op expected everyone to agree with her and didn’t want to be told it’s a shitty thing to do. Unless there is a backstory of course which I am guessing there is not or the OP would have been back

LoveProsecco · 13/05/2018 18:17
Hmm
pigsDOfly · 13/05/2018 18:39

Given that the OP seems to have dropped through a hole in the universe since she/he posted this I'm beginning to suspect as pp have said that it's perhaps a little less than genuine.