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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to discourage my son from making his children vegan

187 replies

Esspee · 12/05/2018 20:22

My DS and DIL have gone vegan in the last year. They are very well informed so I kept quiet about my reservations.

Tonight on FaceTime my elder grandchild explained that the shadows under her sister's eyes are caused by lack of iron and said something about her bruising and mentioned seeing the doctor. I said nothing as I don't want to cause a family rift but my darling granddaughters seem to be suffering because of their parents following a fad.
What can/should I do?

OP posts:
keyboardjellyfish · 12/05/2018 20:24

Children can be vegan and healthy (many are) but I would suggest that maybe your DS hasn't done enough research. Suggest iron rich vegan foods and multivitamins.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 12/05/2018 20:26

Mind your own business until you’re confident you can respect their choices. It sounds like they are seeking medical attention. There are non animal sources of iron. I don’t think you should be alarmed.

(I’m a meat eater btw).

Ummmmgogo · 12/05/2018 20:26

not much you can do. hopefully the doctor will explain th at children need a balanced diet.

Lifeaback · 12/05/2018 20:27

Nothing. They are not your children and it is not your place. You say that the parents are well informed so what makes you think they aren't adequately catering to your grandchildrens dietry needs?

Lethaldrizzle · 12/05/2018 20:30

Im not a vegan but i would imagine there are alot more kids with bad health because of their high fat high sugar processed junk food diets.

Teacuphiccup · 12/05/2018 20:31
Biscuit
bringbackfonzi · 12/05/2018 20:32

Why do you call it a 'fad'?

ASmallWaterBiscuit · 12/05/2018 20:37

Iron deficiency is not necessarily dietary - and even if it is, it’s very possible to get enough as a vegan. Even the NHS advise that veganism is perfectly healthy during pregnancy and for babies and children.
Veganism is not a fad, by the way.

ohcecelia · 12/05/2018 20:37

Veganism isn't a fad, it's risen from 500,000 to 3 million people in the UK in two years, but it's been going for years. Suggest he puts them on a multivitamin just to be safe, and iron rich foods like spinach, broccoli, fortified cereals, and make sure they're having vitamin c with it to make it easily digestible. But if they're well informed, why would you think they're not having their nutritional needs met?

Also, dark circles can mean anything - colds, allergies, dehydration..

flumpybear · 12/05/2018 20:47

I disagree with much of
Above, children need a variation in their diet, their body is growing, not just maintenance like in an adult so needs far more input in maintenance and growth. A vegan diet, yes loads of very good foods, without a doubt, BUT it's complex biochemistry to ensure correct and sufficient absorption, particularly for Children, it's insane to let a
Child live From A vegan diet if not necessary, we, as humans, are omnivores, there's a reason for that. Kids, IMO need a diverse diet, shadows under eyes and other factors would tell me their diet is wrong for them at that time ... I'd be worried
I'm a PhD in biochemistry too
So have some background

restingbemusedface · 12/05/2018 20:49

Jesus Christ please please mind your own. Meat eaters feed their kids crappy diets all the time - it’s not vegans you see giving their kids chicken nuggets and coke.

totorosfluffytummy · 12/05/2018 20:51

The only thing You can do is maybe buy them a good book on vegan diets maybe as part of a gift? It's better to encourage them to do it well rather than trying to put them off when you yourself know nothing about the vegan diet, it is not a "fad" btw.

MongerTruffle · 12/05/2018 20:53

Even the NHS advise that veganism is perfectly healthy during pregnancy and for babies and children.

Just to add to this, the NHS is not particularly up to date when it comes to nutritional advice, so if it says that something like veganism is fine for children, it's fine.

GothMummy · 12/05/2018 20:53

I dont think you are unreasonable for being concerned but you should probably not say anything to your son, or it could a family row.

CadyHeron · 12/05/2018 20:53

Nothing to do with you. YABU. Nothing wrong with veganism, it can be very healthy if you know what you're doing. You said yourself they're well informed. Stay out of it.

User467 · 12/05/2018 20:58

Monger.....what makes you think the NHS isn't very up to date with nutritional advice?i suspect the health professionals with significant nutritional qualifications would beg to differ

Aylarose · 12/05/2018 20:59

It could be that your DGD's anaemia is being investigated because there is the possibility that it is something more serious.

Most dark circles under the eyes are actually hereditary or caused by allergies and it's not hugely likely that they're related to anaemia.

When you speak to your grandchildren suggest that they eat lots of leafy greens. I am all for adults being vegan but not very young children because although not impossible, it is harder for them to get all the nutrients that they need.

Original poster
Esspee · 12/05/2018 21:04

My use of the word fad was wrong, what I meant was trend. I hadn't realised that fad implies that it will be short lived so apologies there.
@Lifeaback, the reason I now think they are not catering to the children's dietary needs is that both are apparently showing signs of iron deficiency.
I did respect their choices which is why I didn't say anything at the start of it all.

OP posts:
Teacuphiccup · 12/05/2018 21:07

‘Trend’ is no better.

Original poster
Esspee · 12/05/2018 21:14

I know nothing about what causes dark circles under the eyes or bruising. All I was told was that the doctor said they needed iron.

I am concerned about perhaps starting a family row. I do keep my views to myself because I brought up my children, now it is their turn to bring up theirs.....but......my lovely granddaughters are suffering because of their parent's convictions.

OP posts:
Boulshired · 12/05/2018 21:15

It is so much easier to be vegan at the moment, much more information and accessible food but like any form of diet knowledge is the key to health. They just need to make some small adjustments. I suffered from iron deficiency as a child even as a meat eater.

Teacuphiccup · 12/05/2018 21:17

You have zero evidence that their vegan diet is causing anything. You don’t even know what’s going on.
Lots of meat eaters are anemic and you can get plenty of iron in a vegan diet.

greenlavender · 12/05/2018 21:19

I'm not a vegan, but it's hardly a 'fad'.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 12/05/2018 21:20

Leave the poor children alone. Nothing wrong with them being a vegan family and you really have no idea what your talking about.

SauvB123 · 12/05/2018 21:25

YANBU

I was a vegetarian for two decades after friends went through that stage in teenage years and cut out meat. Tried veganism too for a year, and although it is possible to get all the required nutirients, it is very difficult, particularly for children at school, or going out with friends - their options will be so restricted! I don’t think it’s fair to impose or encourage such a strict diet on children. By all means cook vegan meals at home but let them supplement with dairy and meat should they choose!

I ended up eating meat again during pregnancy, as my body craved it. I do firmly believe that humans to benefit hugely from a more varied diet, that includes meat. After losing blood during labour to the point when I needed transfusions, I ate steak 3x a week and noticed immediate benefits (despite all the iron supplements)!

I do think you’re in a very difficult position though. How old are the children?