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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to discourage my son from making his children vegan

187 replies

Esspee · 12/05/2018 20:22

My DS and DIL have gone vegan in the last year. They are very well informed so I kept quiet about my reservations.

Tonight on FaceTime my elder grandchild explained that the shadows under her sister's eyes are caused by lack of iron and said something about her bruising and mentioned seeing the doctor. I said nothing as I don't want to cause a family rift but my darling granddaughters seem to be suffering because of their parents following a fad.
What can/should I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Esspee · 12/05/2018 21:28

@flumpybear. I'm 100% with you. My background is geology and archaeology. Mankind's evolutionary development surged forward after changes in diet, particularly after hunting became established and then domestication of animals and farming. To me going vegan is a regressive step in human development. Certainly we need to have a plant based diet but supplemented with animal products. Everyone is entitled to decide their own diet but children's needs are different.

OP posts:
Pressuredrip · 12/05/2018 21:30

Gosh you sound ignorant. I bet my life most vegan kids have a much healthier diet than meat and dairy eating kids. Definitely don't say anything. How about you send them a vegan hamper full of lovely vegan treat food, and some that are rich in iron if you are so worried? It's highly unlikely they are iron deficient just because they aren't eating meat though. Do some research.

Original poster
Esspee · 12/05/2018 21:31

@SauvB123 The girls are 7 and 4

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 12/05/2018 21:33

anyone who has concerns for the welfare and well being of any child.. can call Social Services OP... anyone reporting a concern can do this anonymously Flowers

Teacuphiccup · 12/05/2018 21:35

It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind OP.

Teacuphiccup · 12/05/2018 21:36

That’s obviously a joke gemini aye?

jay55 · 12/05/2018 21:37

I've been anaemic since I was 7, bruise easily, have permanent dark shadows and am not vegan or vegetarian.

Gemini69 · 12/05/2018 21:38

That’s obviously a joke gemini aye?

most certainly not.. I never joke about the welfare of a child... no matter the issue

Teacuphiccup · 12/05/2018 21:39

You think she should report her son to social services because they are vegan?

Gemini69 · 12/05/2018 21:41

You think she should report her son to social services because they are vegan?

No... that's what You just said.... Hmm

I said....

anyone who has concerns for the welfare and well being of any child.. can call Social Services OP... anyone reporting a concern can do this anonymously Flowers

Zintox · 12/05/2018 21:41

Why not be supportive and buy them one of these?
luckyironfish.com

YABVU by the way.

lljkk · 12/05/2018 21:41

Buy them some children's tasty vegan iron tablets? Not sure what you can do that would be better.

Original poster
Esspee · 12/05/2018 21:42

@Gemini61 Thank you for your concern. I would never dream of reporting them to SS. They are great parents, just misguided about their current beliefs. (also they are 2000 miles away)

OP posts:
Teacuphiccup · 12/05/2018 21:42

Yes but her concern is that they are vegan and should she speak to her son and you said if anyone has any concerns they can speak to social services, implying that it’s worth speaking to social services over.

NubianVeganQueen · 12/05/2018 21:42

Social services?! I assume that was a joke!

I've been vegan for about a year now and try to stick mainly to a whole food plant based diet rather than lots of unhealthy, processed vegan food. I've done lots of research on it as well.

My daughter doesn't eat dairy but does eat meat as it is her choice but I am hoping she eventually embraces a plant based lifestyle.

I think some people need to actually research before throwing their opinions around - meat and dairy products are being proven to cause numerous diseases and cancers and the world is slowly waking up to this.

A diet full of veg, fruit, wholegrains, plant based proteins, nuts, seeds, legumes, healthy fats etc will give children a great start in life.

As parents we all do our best for our children whatever our beliefs are - and if the parents are educated in veganism and nutrition I'm sure they won't go wrong!

Racecardriver · 12/05/2018 21:42

People cope better with veganism as they get older. Children's digestive texts are just to short to easily digest a completely plant based diet, even if they are inherently more tolerant. What your DS may not realise is that while he may feel better after switching to no animal products the effects on his children will be completely different. I suggest you have a gentle conversation with him about your concerns about their health. Don't mention the veganism outright just ask what is wrong and ask what they inbred to do to deal with it and how you can help.

KirstenRaymonde · 12/05/2018 21:44

You say they’re very well informed, they’ve probably done their research on how to get everything they need from a vegan diet. A well planned vegan diet is healthy at all stages of life. Yes it takes a bit more planning but there’s no reason for anyone to be deficient in anything. In fact most vegan kids are eating significantly more fruit and veg than the average kid. If a doctor has said the child has an iron deficiency it’s very likely being addressed, I would try not to worry.

Gemini69 · 12/05/2018 21:45

Social services?! I assume that was a joke!

most certainly not.. I never joke about the welfare of a child... no matter the issue

KirstenRaymonde · 12/05/2018 21:45

@Racecardriver the NHS sand British Dietetic Association both support well planned vegan diets for children, so I’m afraid you’re misinformed.

Teacuphiccup · 12/05/2018 21:45

They are great parents, just misguided about their current beliefs

I wonder why they moved 2000 miles away.

Teateaandmoretea · 12/05/2018 21:48

I think yanbu, for me it's wrong for this to be enforced on young children, it should be a choice. And I don't think the fact that some meat eating dc have worse diets is really relevant. Growing children need balanced diets with calorie-dense food and that will be very difficult to achieve by being entirely plant-based. I actually dont know any vegan dc in real life - veggies yes but vegan no.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 12/05/2018 21:50

To me going vegan is a regressive step in human development
sounds like confirmation bias by op rather than any actual rational reasoning.

Athena18 · 12/05/2018 21:52

I think it is not unreasonable to show an interest while being supportive and diplomatically ensuring that there is no risk to the children. Child protection is everyone’s business. However veganism is not a trend but a lifestyle choice, and a healthy one at that. (Can’t agree that meat eaters feed their children rubbish. Bit of a generalisation.) Problem with vegan diet isn’t so much iron deficiency as calcium, B12 and omega 3s. I think it is mandatory, especially where children are concerned to thoroughly research any restrictive diet, taking professional advice if necessary. Provided any potential deficiencies are anticipated and met with fortified foods or supplements then the benefits will be substantial for both people and planet. There are many causes of iron deficiency, bruising and dark circles but I would be reassured if the visit to the doctor has happened.

ohcecelia · 12/05/2018 21:52

If you don't know any vegan children IRL, how do you know it's hard to achieve a calorie dense diet for them?

My child is 2 and is vegan. She's recently had her check ups and is perfect for her age, right in the middle of expected weight and height. It takes more planning, but it's pretty easy actually to make sure her diet gives her everything she needs nutritionally. The Dr had absolutely no qualms or worries about her diet.

BeanCalledPickle · 12/05/2018 21:53

Why are we saying ‘enforced’? My five year old chose to be vegetarian and is very clear what that means. She won’t eat haribo etc because she knows that they contain animals products. We are largely plant based so don’t have dairy at home but they will chose to eat it a bit out of the house. That’s fine by me. You are talking about children who are old enough to understand the choices they are making.