DS1's Dad's Wedding - declined by school

[Idontbelieveinthemoon]

DS1 is in Y7 at High School. His Dad is getting married this year during term time and, obviously, wants DS1 to be there. School have refused the leave of absence request and stated that they expect DS1 to be in attendance on the days he was due to be away (it's a destination wedding so not something I can change, alter or even adapt to suit school; the actual wedding is on a week day and DS1 would be missing the whole of the last week of summer term).

So as not to drip feed DS1 has great attendance, is achieving well and all homework is on time and never gets into trouble. He also has ASD and can suffer from Anxiety at times and has been particularly anxious about being able to attend the wedding.

Am I able to appeal school's decision and challenge this? It seems awfully unfair that they've refused an application for a wedding of an immediate family member; being part of his Dad's wedding is a huge thing for DS1 and I can't see another way through this; he has to go to the wedding, he has to be there as it's his family.

Would it be U to challenge school's decision or is it best to leave it as unauthorised absence and just take the hit when they fine DH and I (they've written to us separately to advise that we'll be fined if he isn't in school on those dates)?

I honestly wouldn't worry that the school have declined this. Lay low and see what happens, just pass the fine to his dad if you do get one. He's highly unlikely to be missing anything crucial in the last week and I say that as a teacher. Most schools can't authorise any holiday nowadays.

A far more deserving case than the man from the Isle of Wight who lost his case in the High Court.

I think appeal, but if you lose, DS's dad should pay any fine.

I don't understand why both you and your DH are expected to pay fines if he isn't your DS's father

I believe they fine per adult so a single parent would be fined less.

just to add to the chorus of "take him anyway" it is unreasonable for them to refuse but a bit silly of his dad to plan it so he has too miss a whole week of school. Make sure dad pays all the fine. Don't worry about school he won't be missing anything crucial.

Those who are saying that no learning takes place in the last week of the summer term, are you actually teachers?

I would take him. Ours do nothing last week of term except play on computers and watch dvds. He will never forget the wedding but last week of school is hardly memorable.

The school may decide this is unauthorized, but I seriously doubt you will be fined for taking a child out for his father's wedding.

Those who are saying that no learning takes place in the last week of the summer term, are you actually teachers?

I'm not a teacher, but I know that in the last week of term at my DC's school they will have finished the curriculum for the year, they will have completed their testing, they will have handed in all graded assignments...and they will be playing games and watching videos. Obviously they will learn stuff, in the same way that listening to a Radio 4 podcast would teach them something new, or visiting a museum would be a learning experience, but it's hardly something critical that will impeded their future progress if they miss it

OP - I wouldn't lie and say that he is ill, I wouldn't appeal, I would thank them for their response and advise that DS will be absent for the last week of school and please let you know if you need to go to school to collect anything during that week or if DS will have brought everything home in the penultimate week

Cliffdiver As the kids (and I taught secondary) are in holiday run down period, trying to teach them anything substantial is frankly difficult. I saw most of classes once a week, so I just did a whole loads of quizzes and crosswords to summarise/revise what they'd learned over the year, with small prizes for who got it right the quickest etc.

We also had sports day the last week, so that took out a whole day, and we night have a Citizenship day chucked in as well, so the teaching opportunities diminished, plus, last day was tutor groups, assembly etc.

Apolo0gies for the typos; I've put my glasses down somewhere!

My son used to attend a very Catholic school I applied to take him out for one day to fly home to attend his DCousins FHC.

The application was rejected and was full of legal speak, down the bottom in his own hand writing the head had written enjoy the FHC, we took him out and that was the last we heard of it.

In short ignore it.

Personally I'd have had him develop a virulent stomach bug that very sadly coincided with the last week of term... School attendance policing has gone completely mad. In this kind of case the school would probably prefer to mark an absence as illness rather than unauthorised anyway, doesn't impact on their figures and less paperwork. And no fines for you.

Our school appears to have a blanket ban on authorising absences - for anything! - it is pretty pathetic in all truth. They bang on about the importance of education yet a few flakes of snow and the school is shut half the week as teachers say they cant make it in (despite most of the remaining population managing to get to work). The rank hypocrisy of the teaching profession never ceases to amaze, way to many little Hitler’s rising through the ranks.

I’m a teacher - yes little learning takes place the last week of term. Many schools will have video after video on. While I don’t approve of this, the children (especially yr 7 but actually all of them) are tired and antsy and there’d be no point organising challenging lessons central to the curriculum. In my classes (I don’t do videos - the children are actually often sick of them as there are so many) I would be doing quizzes, arts/crafts stuff tied in to my subject, and other more relaxed lessons.

I think it’s a shame your DS’ dad didn’t organise his wedding in the summer holiday to make life easier but I think it’s ridiculous that schools can’t authorise this kind of absence now, depending on LA. I wouldn’t worry about it and would just accept and pay the fine.

I took my DC out for a week (in Year 1) for an unusual and culturally rich holiday that DC got a huge amount out of. The school wasn’t allowed to authorise it but luckily didn’t fine us and I think they actually didn’t mind at all, judging from their written response to our request. It does rankle to have them say ‘unauthorised’ but if you can afford the fine and attendance is otherwise good just let it go, is my advice.

Those who are saying that no learning takes place in the last week of the summer term, are you actually teachers?

If your children come back telling you they watched Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs i in the morning and ii in the afternoon, are you suggesting that you need to be a teacher to conclude that no learning took place that day?

I'm a teacher and I can categorically confirm that in all the schools I've ever worked in, no learning takes place in the last week of summer term.

Also, can those people who are wondering why they arranged their wedding in term time not understand that travel prices are massively hiked during school holidays?

Again, why can't you say he is ill? They can't prove it. My head lets me have DS' birthday off school every year as birthdays are important to me. We say he's ill. Every year. Schools are ridiculous.

If the council took as much time worrying about those children who are actually in need of support and have poor attendance for a real reason, rather than fining parents for a one off holiday or occasion, the world would be a better place.

Holidays are more enriching than school anyway.

My son went to New York,in term time,I knew the school would say no,sowe said he was ill.

Our school now fine for all unauthorised absence and they wouldn’t authorise this.

Just take him out and pay the fine. You only get hit with large penalties if you refuse to pay and it goes to court. Our fine is £60 per parent per child.

The rank hypocrisy of the teaching profession never ceases to amaze, way to many little Hitler’s rising through the ranks.

Ouch croprotation! I work in education and genuinely haven't met too many little Hitlers, so am very lucky! I do agree re the hypocrisy but, thinking it through and reading through posts here, it's unlikely school have much leeway with decisions like this as they're likely to be governed by the LA's blanket policy.

I don't think I'd dare lie and suggest he was unwell; DS1 is so very blunt and direct that he'd just tell them the truth come September anyhow, and I wouldn't want to jeopardise our relationship with his school; they're brilliant, he's happy there and very well supported.

Our school will turn down any requests unless it’s an odd day for a funeral, so would never allow a whole week. But it’s really hit and miss whether they bother to fine you. My SIL a couple of counties away had to pay £120 when they went away in term time, although it took ages for the letter to come through, while friends who live in our county have taken kids away for 2 weeks without authorisation and the LA hasn’t even bothered to fine them.

You sound like you’d pay the fine. Why on earth would you not ask your ex to transfer the fine amount before you board the plane? His wedding, his choice of date, his cost.

If there was any common sense at all, all children would get one week of grace per year to use how they wish. I cannot think of a single possible argument against such an idea. The only reason for fines is as a money making exercise, nothing to do with education.

Dad can just pay the fine. Sorted.

If a pupil/student is absent for two days either at the beginning or end of a half-term or term, the school will ask for evidence of their illness (medical certificate) or, in certain circumstances, request the Education Welfare Officer to visit.

This is an extract from my DDs school policy - presumably to challenge the idea that you just phone in & say he's sick as a number of pp have suggested.

You sound like you’d pay the fine. Why on earth would you not ask your ex to transfer the fine amount before you board the plane? His wedding, his choice of date, his cost.

It's difficult to say without coming across badly (or smugly) but the fine is something we could repay and not notice. It's not something his Dad could find so easily. And I know that the whole "he chose the date, he needs to pay" thing is absolutely right. But there are grey areas and if I can make life easier on him I'd like to.

DH has flatly said there's no way he's paying a penny towards any fines, though. Which is unusual for him because he never sticks his head above the parapet!

croprotationinthe13thcentury

The rank hypocrisy of the teaching profession never ceases to amaze, way to many little Hitler’s rising through the ranks.

No bias or bullshit shown in your post.