to think a random act of kindness would have been nice in this situation...

[formerbabe]

Been wanting to post this for ages!

It actually happened years ago but I'd love to hear other people's thoughts...

So I was at home making spaghetti Bolognese when I realised I had no tinned tomatoes.

My 2 dc were quite small...toddler and pre school age. I got them in car and we popped to the supermarket. I picked up a single can of value chopped tomatoes and took it to the till. I can't remember the exact price but it was in the region of 30-35p. I didn't have any other items. When it came to paying I realised I'd left my purse at home. I explained to the cashier and had to go home, get purse and go back. Quite a palava when you have 2 young DC with you but oh well, totally my fault.

Anyway, behind me at the till was a man who watched this all unfold. He didn't say anything. Now of course, he had no obligation to help and I had no entitlement to be helped. But if I was shopping and saw a woman in front of me with two young DC buying a single can of value chopped tomatoes and had left her purse at home then I'd offer to get them for her? Fwiw, the guy was buying fairly expensive, naice items like organic veg, posh chocs etc

Would you offer to pay for someone in that situation? I totally would.

How many times have you randomly paid for others shopping?

Maybe the stuff in his trolly was the last of his money , and he worked it out by then penny going round. My friend used to do this

Absolutely I would offer to pay - and have done in similar circumstances. And I know that DP would do the same.

I have done similar.

A boy in the shop who I knew by sight as such, didn't have enough money for the chocolate bar he was buying so I paid for it.

I like to think people pay it forward.

When I buy food I take the exact amount of money I'm willing to spend. I can't afford to buy random bits for other people.

Maybe he had no spare cash?

Yes of course but my aibu is would you offer assuming you had an extra 30p on you and could afford it.

I'd definitely pay in that situation

I like to think I would OP, though it's possible the guy behind wasn't paying much attention and didn't notice, I'm often in my own little world when shopping and might not notice, or be a bit too timid to offer. Someone has done this for me before and it did make my day. Would never expect it of course, but it is nice when it happens

It happened years ago and you still remember the food he was buying?

It doesn't matter what he had. Posh chocs. His money his choice.

YANBU to think it would have been nice. You would have been unreasonable to expect it to happen.

For what its worth I would have paid for your tomatoes

I probably would if I had spare cash, but I certainly would not be upset if someone did not offer to pay for me if I was the one in the situation.

I think it just really doesn’t occur to most people

Most people are very self absorbed

I would, and have done on a few occasions. I’m a huge fan of paying it forward and random acts of kindness

When I buy food I take the exact amount of money I'm willing to spend. I can't afford to buy random bits for other people.

You take the exact cash with you? Not your card?

I definitely would buy it for someone in this situation but I know people who'd be too concerned about the person's reaction to offer. I imagine if you're skint, you might feel a bit patronised or humiliated by a random person drawing attention to it and offering to pay, like you couldn't feed your own kids.

So I'd offer. But I can understand why many wouldn't.

It would have been a nice gesture, but some might see it as patronising.

I think you're cheeky to post a thread about it.

35p - yes I totally would. Up to about £2 I would. Probably more.

Once our shopping came to 1p more than I had - the guy behind me donated 1p to me and I was so happy! Just happened that I had only taken a few pounds, no debit card to the local shop and miscalculated how far the coins would go (I thought the total was 20p under what I had)

I thought the point of random acts of kindness is the randomness, they are unexpected?! Sounds like you expected it and are annoyed because someone didn’t meet your expectation

Walking I take say £20 and usually spend exactly that, for example otherwise I end up spending more if I take card..

Of course it would have been nice. Would also have been nice for the cashier to give you the money. But as it turned out, this was simply one of those situations where you left the house to make a small purchase but didn't check you had the money. It's a pain in the arse but it happens.

FWIW, I simply don't listen to what's going on in front of me at the till. I like my supermarket shopping the same as my taxi rides and hair appointments... In my own little world chatting to nobody and zoned right out. I wouldn't have clocked what was happening if you were ahead of me at the till.

Who gives a shit if the OP remembers what's the guy was buying? It's not relevant

Of course he should have done you a favour and paid op. Some folk are just tight

I would have offered. Tbf op was he even paying attention? I can start to dawdle in a queue

I paid the difference for a teenage boy when he didn't have enough to pay for the sandwich he wanted. He was a lovely boy and tried to say no but I handed the money straight to the lady behind the counter. He was so grateful. I would definitely have paid for your tomatoes!

I'd have bought them for you.